Hello and Welcome Recovery Friends, Seekers, and Visitors,
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I had been invited to Peoples Internet Radio by host, Stephen Roberts to join him this past Friday evening to talk about my current book, problem & addicted gambling, recovery, and a few more hot topics. And the interview was so awesome, we where on for just about 2 hours! And as promised, here is a wrap up of some of the topics we discussed, and recovery resources I had given out during the show.
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I’d like to first say, Thank You again to my host, Stephen Roberts for inviting me to his show. Well, I also kind of invited myself really. LOL. I say this because as some of you know, I do book & social media promoting for other authors. And, Stephen has had 2 of my clients on his show earlier. It’s actually how we met. He is such a great guy with a fun sense of humor.
A little about Peoples Internet Radio, Seeking Sovereign Solutions, http://peoplesinternetradio.com/ it is a movement for and by the people to take our country of America back! It is a place where podcasts are broadcast and heard by hosts who invite others to speak up, help inform, and to raise awareness of many issues facing our country. And one of those issues impacting our communities is the ever-expanding problems of Indian Casinos & State Lotteries. That was only one of the issues Stephen and I spoke about. We talked about my book, Addicted To Dimes, (Confessions of a Liar and a Cheat), which is my personal story of life touched by childhood sex abuse, discipline abuse, living with mental and emotional illness and disorders, and gambling and alcohol addictions.
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We also had people calling and typing in through Facebook, as my interview was live streamed on 3 different podcast links. We even had people commenting as far away from Ireland, Scotland, and United Kingdom! I do have to say a ‘Special’ shout out to “Jimmy & Sean” for your questions, and very kind comments during the show! I also explained my own personal devastation I caused with my gambling addiction in my life. Some don’t always agree with me about the why’s of someone choosing addiction in the first place.
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My experience is that, like Jimmy mentioned in his comment, when in rehab or treatment, it seems the professionals just treat the symptoms, and not some of the underlying issues that may have led us to use addictions to cope with life challenges and traumatic life events.
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From a relapse prevention point of view, those life events if we are not ready for them, can be a source of relapse. I know it was difficult for me in this area as well. The first failed suicide attempt in 2002 of mine,
from 2 life events that hit me hard was two people close to me passed away of cancer. Then my mom passed in 2003. So life, if not ready can cause a relapse. You need to have a plan in place.
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When all that happened to me I went via the hospital to an addictions/mental health crisis center. That’s when my primary doctor, and the center psychiatrist found I had been suffering Bipolar 2 severe depression, PTSD, OCD, and mild anxiety mania. So in 2002 is when I was started on bipolar and anti-depressant meds.
So those were some of the underlying issues that compounded, and seem to set me up for some type of addictions to cope, escape and numb out from the grief, and from my past traumatic childhood.
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Of course, as I discussed with Stephen that when you are raised in a household that you speak of things outside our home about anything that might bring shame to the family, and to not know there are healthy ways to get help and process past hurt and pain. Then many do use addiction to try to escape from it. To not feel those unpleasant feelings and emotions. So it wasn’t until I started work on processing my past pains, and working with an addiction specialist, who taught my also how to break down the cycle of my addiction. A cycle has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Here is what it looks like.
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See, will get Triggered by something that affects us in life. Could be life trauma, stress of a bad day at work, a financial crisis, for me it was Paydays. The build up would start a few days before a payday. Urges or cravings like on the chart. Then the Ritual comes into play. This maybe, again for me was trying to calculate how much money would be available to gamble with. What bills could I put off until the next payday. That type of diseased thinking. Sadly, when I crossed the line into uncontrolled addicted gambling, the bills never got paid, and the money would be gone. Then the actual act of using, or for was addicted, uncontrolled gambling. Then the last part of the cycle is the guilt, shame, self-loathing, remorse.
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But the one difference with gambling is the constant lies, covering up what I’d done, find money to pay the debts that I should have with our paychecks and on and on. It’s exhausting! And until you learn in treatment, and in support group meetings those tools and skills to interrupt and break the cycle? You’ll keep using over and over wishing for a different outcome that never comes! Part of my experience of addiction did come from my past childhood abuse. And the verbal can cut deep into our mind and thoughts. Verbal, or psychological abuse can sink in when were children. Because our minds are like a sponge! It is also from my sex abusers as well. They threaten you so much that you start to believe you’re a bad girl, damaged, and if you tell, no one will believe you, that your telling lies.
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I still to this day feel those feeling of those men telling me that, grooming me with treats, then turn around and threaten me with verbal trash! And like I said in my interview, even though Gamblers Anonymous tells us that we can recover without knowing the reasons why we became addicted gamblers, but through therapy, I know some of why I was using addicted gambling with alcohol. It was to not feel the pains of my childhood any longer.
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Today, I’m not a victim any longer! I advocate, speak-up and speak-out about childhood abuse and trauma! As it’s the only way I know how to shatter the STIGMA around this devastating issues. I know that it wasn’t my fault what happened to me. So I now let others who endured the same, that they are not at fault either. All that I do to try and help others was given to me by my Father in Heaven. Another part of recovery is to learn from what we triumph over. We see our character defects, and learn to correct them to become better human beings..
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Here are just a few facts I shared about gambling addiction on the radio show.1% of our population right now are Problem Gambler’s.
Out of the 16+million problem gamblers in just the United States, half this number are now your college bound young adults. The Productivity Commission in Australia reports, for every one problem gambler, they have a negative effect on 7 other people.Our government makes gambling legal for profits through Casinos and States Lottery.
And if you want to know what is being done about it in your State and communities besides raising crime rates, and more friends and loved ones becoming problem gamblers, then visit http://StopPredatoryGambling.org/in-your-state/
For help and information about problem gambling, visit the good people of The National Council on Problem Gambling, http://www.ncpgambling.org For warning signs & info please visit http://www.helpguide.org and http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/hotlines/
There are more helpful ‘Recovery Resource’ pages here on my blog with more important websites and phone numbers. And finally, if you happened to miss the internet show? Here is the link you can hear the whole show at your own leisure. When you clink on the link, a little box will pop up and just hit the arrow to play it.
http://www.weebly.com/…/august_29_2014_with_catherine…
Just in case it doesn’t pop up, here is the full link address:
http://www.weebly.com/uploads/2/1/1/6/21163562/august_29_2014_with_catherine_townsend_lyon.mp3
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In closing, this quote truly is important. No on person who becomes an addict just happens to wake up one day and tell themselves, “Gee, I think today I’ll choose to become an addict and destroy my life” …
Yes, life is full of positive wonders and possibilities, but life also can hurt, be painful to some of us.
NO, not excuses, just insights of how some can lose their way.
And yes, it is our choice on how we handle the rough patch’s. But remember, many people are not healthy, strong, or had positive role models, or a healthy family dynamic growing up. Like I explained to Stephen,
I have forgiven my parents, and have forgiven my sex abusers, and my siblings who too had hurt me, as my spiritual Father has taught me. You have to in order to take back your life. It’s also what I learned in treatment and therapy. I have learned many life lessons on this journey called life. Now my passion is to pass some of it to others.
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Much Happiness and Blessings on your Recovery Journey,
Catherine Townsend-Lyon, Author of, “Addicted To Dimes” …
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0984478485/
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