I Welcome a ‘Special Guest’ & Recovery Blog by Phil McQuire and His “Diary of a Recovering Gambling Addict…


~Phil McGuire https://poker-gambling-addiction.blogspot.com/


Phil and I have been friends for some time and met orginally on Twitter as his handle is @philmcquire75 …

I have been a huge fan and follower of his first blog of recovery from gambling, but we had lost touch for a while. We have gotten reacquainted and I just had to SPOTLIGHT Phil here as I love what he has been sharing on his current blog. He lives in the United Kingdom and we are very much the same with our advocacy. It is to share HOPE, our experiences, and NEVER “Sugar Coat” this addiction or its recovery from it.

His Twitter Profile Reads:
“Recovering Gambling Addict. Last bet 01/08/2018. Gambling is NOT a game. Please take a moment to read my Gambling Addiction Diary to understand, you cannot win.”

Phil is and has been an amazing recovery advocate who continues to be open, honest, and transparent of his maintaining recovery from this cunning disease. Here is a little more of who Phil is in his own written words and a sampling of his DIARY from his blog…

I would encourage all to visit his blog as he has many resouces there that can help those who may be suffering in silence from an incidious addiction as gambling can be for many. It is why Phil and I continue to educate the public, raise awareness about the devastation gambling causes and consequence of ADDICTION.”

Phil McQuire and Diary of a Recovering Gambling Addict

I am Phil McQuire, and I am a compulsive gambler from London in the UK.

Be sure to follow me on twitter. I tweet on #addiction, #mentalhealth, and #recovery.

I started gambling in my late twenties. I have wasted a decade of my life gambling.

It all started with poker. When that pursuit was not enough to feed my addiction, I engaged with other table games. Later, I would bet on anything. Even sports, which I can’t stand.

My recovery started on 1st August 2018. I define my recovery as a process of change. Conscious about my abstinence, I am driven to succeed.

With my new freedom, I work on my self-awareness. I would like to become an addiction counsellor and someday, write a book.

Gambling has had a profound impact on my mental health. My suicidal ideation is my one constant. It is with a heavy heart that I feel my aspirations are destined for another life.

During my gambling journey and short recovery, I have learned many things. Allow me to share two truths that you might relate to. Within each truth is an entire book.

  • Gambling — I will never, ever win. Ever.
  • Recovery — Is one of the most difficult things I have had to do. 

Two years in to my gambling, I started writing. My addiction was at its infancy, yet I was acutely aware. I wanted to write to help SHAPE myself and others that are suffering.

Over time, my blog has become a platform to:

  1. Serve as a reminder of my journey.
  2. Hold me accountable for my actions.
  3. Act as a reflection on my behaviour.
  4. Provide a reference to help others understand the dangers of an addiction.
  5. Express myself to become more self-aware

My addiction had reached a point where it became self-flagellation. I learned as much as I needed, and enough was enough. I now focus my energy on becoming the best version of myself.  This will allow me to heal. Only then can I be of notable service to others.

Today, my gift to you is to sign post you to recovery, so you start your own journey. Engage with the links in the recovery section to get the help you and your family deserve!

Free Social Media Icons by Unblast on Dribbble



Dear @ScarlettMoffatt, I am sorry to learn your mother got caught up in #gambling. You are a good person to forgive and support her. Every gambler needs understanding. Your actions can end #stigma.
If it helps, please read my latest blog post: http://bit.ly/35nMxL1

I recommend David’s #blog. I particularly enjoy the guest posts, and I highly recommend the post, “Mental Health Issues, a by-product of capitalism?” Personally, I find Colin’s honesty relatable. #mentalhealth

New measures proposed by @GamRegGB could make the difference between financial ruin and someone seeking help. As a problem gambler in #AddictionRecovery, you can read my full transparent response #blogposthttp://bit.ly/3q7DwOe
#retweet please.


Addiction Recovery Bloggers and Vloggers

Many people are going through an addiction recovery process. People raise awareness by writing an online diary or publishing videos to communicate their gambling addiction experiences and recovery.

Please contact me if you would like to share your content with our community.



  • Only Phil | United Kingdom
    I’m Alex. During my twenties I suffered from a crippling gambling addiction. It led to a myriad of problems. Financial debt, relationship breakups and terrible mental health. For over 10 years, I lied to my friends and family, hiding my addiction in plain sight.
  • Andy Margett | United Kingdom
    My name is Andy and I’m a gambling addict last bet 14/04/07. I am live every Sunday at 8pm UK time. There is help and hope, let no one tell you different.
  • The Invisible Addiction | United Kingdom
    I’m Alex. During my twenties I suffered from a crippling gambling addiction. It led to a myriad of problems; financial debt, relationship breakups and terrible mental health. For over 10 years I constantly lied to my friends and family, hiding my addiction in plain sight.


I Never Wanted to Stop Gambling

Phil McQuireJanuary 10, 2021dear-diaryhealing-musicmental-health

It is heartbreaking to watch an addict dance with their insidious disease. They think they are the world’s best dancer, when in reality …

In the early stages of my addiction, every thought was about gambling. As a gambler, I was a conniving, selfish person. Driven to meet my own needs and a constant desire for instant gratification. I was everything I did not want to be, but had become.

The greatest loves of my life became a distant memory. Gambling became the prevailing force in my reality. Give me an ultimatum, and gambling would win every time. Ironic given I always lost when I gambled.

The truth is, I never wanted to stop gambling. Dancing hand in hand with my illusory passion was my raison d’être. Gambling was all that mattered. 

Gambling clouded my life in a dense mist. The addiction shrouded all the aspects that made me vulnerable, yet compassionate loving and human.

“What have I become? My sweetest friend. Everyone I know goes away,in the end” — Trent Reznor, NIN, Hurt

The addiction set me up to tear me down. I became my distorted reality. Yet, this mismatch between the goal and perceived idealisation could not last. I created my reality based on lies, manipulation, and incongruent values. 

Addiction became a part of me, but it was not me. Even my truth, “I never wanted to stop gambling” was a lie. For years, I knew addiction had me constricted. The coil of self-inflicted imprisonment became tighter. 

What was once a passion had become a sine qua non. Loved ones, friends and family worried, because they cared. Only love could set me free. The greatest love of all was within my heart. Addiction suppressed my love. Replaced and reinforced with negative and difficult emotions, like anxiety, guilt and anger. These emotions stifled my essence.

It was easier for me to just dance than admit my dancing was egregious. If I believed the lie I told myself, I would carry this dance to my grave. Love starts with courage. Getting to know myself and having deep interpersonal awareness.

As a recovering gambling addict, every moment represents courage healing and love. Despite my pain, and suffering, I take solace knowing I have experienced trauma that adds vividness to my psyche.

An experience which, 
“Grants me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.”

# # # # # # #

I hope you have enjoyed learning more about my dear friend and recovery advocate Phil McQuire and I strongly urge you to give a visit to his blog and make sure you connect with Phil and ME on Twitter!

We can and do RECOVER from Addicted Gambling! ~ Advocate, Catherine Lyon

Phil’s Tweets: @philmcquire75 ~ https://twitter.com/philmcquire75
My Tweets: @LUV_Recovery and @kitcatlyon ~ https://twitter.com/LUV_Recovery

Never underestimate the power of a #gambling#addiction, and its hold over not only you, but also your family, and other loved ones. Gambling impacts everyone. #seekhelp


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