Hello Recovery Friends, Seekers, And Welcome New Friends,
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Some days living life in recovery can be a bit of a challenge. What I mean is, no matter how much recovery time one gets under their belt, we still may have a day when something from our “Wicked Past Addiction” just might come back and ‘Bitch Slap’ us in the face of our present.
It’s why it’s important to ALWAYS have a plan. And especially for long holiday weekends like this one, *Memorial Weekend*…
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Even when that “Slap” comes around, we need to have a safe plan to deal with Life on Life’s terms. I mean, our higher power never said recovery was going to be an easy journey right? Here is what happened to me a while back. When we moved from So. Oregon, to here in Glendale, Arizona,…it was a very traumatic move for me in many ways. I had to adopt out my 2 baby kitties, actually my good friend who has a mini 3 acre ranch took them for us, but it was traumatic for me. Also the 3 day ride in the car was also a traumatic event for me, and had to stay a wee bit extra medicated with my psych meds for the long trip, as I suffer from Bipolar depression, mild PTSD, and Agoraphobia with panic, so need I say more? When we finally got her to AZ we were living with my husbands siblings until we could move back to Oregon. Well, there was SO much DRAMA and arguing that I was having 5 panic attacks a Week!!
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I cried every night we were there in that house. Missing my cats, hating the way they treated us! We barely lasted 2 months and got the HELL out! We had to find our own place with the help of my husbands older sister who is the ONLY SANE person in that house. We moved out and have NOT stepped foot in their house since. What I found out is,…the 2 brothers went to their lawyer and had him run a criminal background check on me, and they gave it to my husbands older sister. Now, for those who know me, or have read my book, you know that when I was within the worst of my ‘Gambling Addiction’ I had stolen from someone. They pressed charges, and YES,….I have a past criminal record, ONE.
I took ownership, and responsibility for what I had done 8 years ago. I made my amends where I could, began gambling addiction treatment, and worked hard these last 7 years to become the woman I was before my addictions to gambling and alcohol. I did the inside work within myself as well, and now try to help others, and “Pay It Forward.”
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So we need to be ready for when these types of LIFE MOMENTS happen, our past catching up & into our future. His 2 brothers began to treat me even worse with verbal attacks, and more after they got that copy of my past misdeeds. But,….SO WAHT. So I knew we needed to get out to keep my sanity and recovery.
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I think I handled it all pretty well. I did get some bouts of depression and the panic attacks, but all was fine when we got a little place of our own. I mean, at the end, things were really getting out there! The guys hid all the window handles so we could not open our window in our bedroom for any fresh air in the mornings. I was only allowed downstairs living area and kitchen, not in their living room, or anywhere upstairs. I could not use scented deodorant, perfume, smelly body lotion as the boys called it. I really thought I was going MAD IN THE HEAD!
ANYWHO…..
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The point is this, Yes,…we may have made some ‘Bad Choice’s’ when we where within our addictions, but they don’t have to be part of your future, or even in this moment. Don’t let anyone make you feel “Less Than” no matter what. If you learned from the mistakes you made in your past, took ownership and accountability for them, that makes you “More Than in Recovery”! It’s another important reason to do the step work that is required to help you get there and achieve it. Your 12-steps are not all about a religious program.
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Nope,….it’s about learning to use them as a guide to help fix the many character defects, and the bad habits and behaviors we used to COPE within addicted life, and use the steps to transform us into better people in recovery. That’s how I feel about working and reworking my steps. You can see your growth with your own eyes! When you here the words “Unity & Fellowship” in meetings, it’s not a religious fellowship, it’s about applying “The Principals of the Steps” into our daily lives to restore the beautiful people we were before addiction!
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We in recovery deserve, and were given a 2nd chance. If you screw that up?
Well,…that’s on you. Might mean more work needs to be done in your recovery, and within yourself. But if you accept and use that 2nd chance in life given to you in recovery, then,….you are “More Than”…… Always.
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“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” – Melody Beattie
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Happy Memorial Weekend All,
God Bless!
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0984478485
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