Help With ‘Gambling Addiction(.)Com’ It’s a Great Place For Helpful Information and Resources For The Problem Gambler and The Family. . .

Help With Gambling Addiction.com

My dear friend Mark has been running this gambling recovery website since I began my own journey of recovery and shortly after my book had released. It sometimes is not as active as it should be, because just like gambling addiction itself? It is still a hush, hush, silent taboo topic to be open and talk about due to the heavy shame and guilt. Those who become problem gamblers or have lost control of their gambling, don’t want to admit they have a problem.

And that can come from denial or blame others, or they are just not ready to get help.

So I wanted share some from Mark’s website here as he shares that gambling addiction doesn’t care who you are or where you are from, it will touch even your teens! But there is help available and HOPE. I am living proof that recovery is possible, it does work if your are willing, and you don’t have to get to dire straights to gain your life back from this cunning addiction. Now, I will tell you that Mark and his website leans in heavy for Gamblers Anonymous and the 12-Step program. But, I can tell you it didn’t work for me alone.

My addiction was so bad I had to do ANY and EVERYTHING I could find, including a treatment in-patient program (NOT BY CHOICE) but it saved my life! Then I transitioned to out-patient treatment with therapy and group. It doesn’t matter what you choose to get back to a life without a “Monkey on your BACK,” just pick something and stick with it! So, here is the areas I wanted to share from Mark’s website as it is very informative as gambling addiction becomes a FAMILY addiction. Everyone becomes effected by the addict. Support is the KEY. . .

Help With Gambling Addiction – A Guide for Impacted Families

Are you looking for help with gambling addiction?  

Do you have a loved one who’s a problem gambler?  Maybe you’re not quite sure yet if they have a gambling problem, and you’re starting to research?  Or maybe you’re already certain that there’s a problem, and are looking for help?  Wherever you are in this process, this website focuses on all types of gambling problem recovery topics for the loved ones of problem gamblers.  While there’s information on the site that problem gamblers themselves may also find helpful, the focus is to provide help to the loved ones of gamblers impacted by the gambling problem.

It’s important to understand that I’m not a professional in the field of problem gambling or addictions, nor I am even in the medical field.  I am, however, someone with first-hand experience discovering that my spouse is a problem gambler, and living with the hardship and turmoil that comes from the progressive disease of gambling.  

Fortunately, I also have experience working through the addiction recovery process with my spouse, and for myself.  So while I’m not a expert in the field, and have no professional qualifications to give advice, I can speak from personal experience, and straight from my heart to yours to hopefully help you and your family start down the road to recovery.

Through my own research, including Internet searches, books, and individual therapy, I came to realize that while resources gamblers to get help with gambling addiction is plentiful, help for the spouses and loved ones is few and far between.  Hence, seeing this gap, I became motivated to put together this website as a free resource.  

If I can help even one person, or one family find the right path for helping your gambler and/or yourself, then it will have been worthwhile.  Essentially, this site contains information that is from my personal experience, as well as concepts and techniques that I’ve compiled over the years, including talking with my individual therapist, talking with others with problem gamblers in their lives, as well as what I learned through the intervention experience that myself and my loved one went through.

Gambling Warning Signs

What to look for if you think a loved or partner has a gambling problem

• Your spouse disappears for long periods of time during the day and/or night, and doesn’t provide adequate reasons when questioned, or is obviously lying.
  
• You know your spouse is gambling and money continually goes missing, and this is either creating financial strain in terms of paying for bills and activities, or you have already begun defaulting on loans and other payments.
  
• When you discuss the topic of problem gambling, they either dismiss it as not an issue, or acknowledge that things have gotten out of hand, but that they can stop if they want to.
  
• You’ve found yourself making significant financial adjustments, whether it’s moving (whether due to a foreclosure or voluntarily selling your home), downsizing cars (or repossessions), etc.
  
• You’re credit cards have consistently higher balances due to cash advances, or are over limit, and you’re getting calls from collectors.
  
• Money from your bank accounts is disappearing due to unexpected/unaccounted for withdrawals.
  
• Large unexplained sums of money are deposited to your bank account.
  
• Communication with your spouse is difficult, stressful, or generally ineffective or non-existent.
  
• They’ve attended Gamblers Anonymous and either continue to gamble or have discontinued attending meetings.
  
• They tried individual therapy and/or couples therapy with you, and they continue to gamble.
  
• You generally feel that your life is out of control and unmanageable.
• Etc…

In addition to sharing experiences, ideas, and techniques in dealing with a loved one who’s a problem gambler, this site is also meant to provide information about problem gambling itself.  What is it?  How do you know your loved one is a problem gambler?  Can it be cured?  What’s Gamblers Anonymous?  What’s Gam-Anon?  

Other questions that you might be asking yourself at this point might include:

• What can I do to help?
• Should I do something to help or leave it be?
• Should I stay with, or leave my gambler?
• How should I handle finances?
• Is gambling really a disease?

Although I’ve used the word “should” liberally, inferring that you’ll find all of THE answers here, that’s not going to be the case.  Everyone’s situation is so unique, personal, and complex that no one could possibly tell you exactly what to do.  The reality is that there’s truly no one right answer for your situation.  

There are different paths you can take, each one with its pros and cons.  Ultimately you’ll need to decide what’s best for you and your personal situation.  In fact, I would venture to say that if someone purports to KNOW exactly what you should do, I would caution you, as nothing is that simple, even for a problem gambling professional or addiction specialist.

Unlike other resources available to you, it not only provides the background information regarding getting help with gambling addiction all in one place, but also provides a forum for people to share their experiences, as well as ask and answer questions.  While hopefully you’ll come to believe that there’s no one right answer to your problems, it can often be very helpful to ask a question and have a direct dialog about possible answers/solutions.  I’ve found that this type of forum is not readily available for loved ones of problem gamblers.

If you’ve read this far, it’s highly likely that you’re feeling overwhelmed by the gambling problem in your life, and you need help.  While this site won’t cure your problems, you can rest assured that you’ve found a place to learn, share, and dialog with people who understands what you’re experiencing, and who can help guide you to the tools you’ll need for the learning process.  As the site grows, it will become even more valuable for you as you read about others who have experienced similar situations, and learn about what they did to work towards rebuilding a healthy way of life.

Learn more about the Effects of Gambling Addiction

About, My Gambling Addiction Story Learn about MY story!

Help for Gambling Addiction, Options for Getting Help
Is a problem gambler impacting your life? Learn different ways to get help for gambling addiction.

Gambling Addiction Help, Stories of Addiction YOUR Stories! Gambling addiction help includes sharing stories with others affected by the gambling problem.

Share YOUR story! Gambling Addiction Blog

The Gambling Addiction Blog keeps you up-to-date with all additions and changes to the Help With Gambling Addiction site. . . https://www.help-with-gambling-addiction.com/

*** *** *** *** *** ***

I URGE All My Friends and Visitors to My Website Here of “Bet Free Recovery Now” take some time to visit Mark at his site and share your comments of hope and inspire those who may be needing it over this long 4th of July Holiday Weekend. https://www.help-with-gambling-addiction.com/

~Advocate/Author, Catherine Lyon

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Breaking Through Stigma and Raising Awareness About Problem Gambling To Those Who Gamble? Ground Breaking.

In no way shape or form am I endorsing or encouraging others to gamble. But for those who can for the right reasons of a few hours of fun and entertainment, and share Responsible Gambling and my story when you don’t? That to me is progress! We know gambling will never be banned or prohibited, that wouldn’t be fair to those who can for enjoyment. Having a direct source to share my story on a gambling watch dog site is Ground Breaking…

~Advocate, Catherine Townsend-Lyon

A few weeks ago I had been approached with an invitation to be interviewed by an overseas company that is a gambling watch dog for gamblers of all types to keep them safe. They have a blacklist of venues who may use bad practices when it comes to online gambling options at all types of casinos.

Now, I know many who come to visit here may be maintaining recovery like myself, so I won’t mention the site by name. They wanted to do a interview as they are revamping their website and they are hosting new pages of resources and raising awareness about problem gambling and patrons to practice responsible gambling.

At first I thought? Hell No! I would NOT be willing to be on a site like this where people come to look for the best places to gamble. Because I thought it would be like endorsing GAMBLING! Then, I went and explored the website and seen that “The National Council On Problem Gambling” is listed as a resource and I do a lot of networking with them and am a member as an advocate.

So I thought, what an amazing way to reach people who may need help and these resources and be able to help them before they get way to deep into full blown addicted gambling?

In no way shape or form am I endorsing or encouraging others to gamble. But for those who can for the right reasons of a few hours of fun and entertainment, and share Responsible Gambling and my story when you don’t? That to me is progress! We know gambling will never be banned or prohibited, that wouldn’t be fair to those who can for enjoyment. Having a direct source to share my story on a gambling watch dog site is Ground Breaking…

It would be right at the source and where the people are who may need to hear MY STORY, Raise Awareness, and help Shatter Stigma by letting them no there is NO SHAME reaching out for help if gambling begins to interrupt any areas of their daily lives.

So I wanted to share the interview questions they asked of me and how I answered them. This really is an awesome opportunity and a ground breaking idea to also help break the stigma of those who may or do have a gambling problem know that it’s OK to reach out for help! ~Catherine

No Shame In Asking For HELP

INTERVIEW WITH A RECOVERING GAMBLER ~ Champion of Awareness


When did you first start gambling? What got you into it?

Answer:
I had always enjoyed gambling with my girlfriends as we would go to Reno or the Indian Casino a couple of times a year and never had a problem. It used to be a fun thing to do for an hour or so with friends. Have lunch at the deli and play a little.

I don’t come from a family background or parents who were gamblers. For me, it began around age 30 when I noticed I began gambling a little more than an average person. Now, with 14+years of being bet free and maintaining my recovery, it started after a life event, when my brother-in-law passed away in 1992.

At the same time, I was living in the Oregon, (USA) and they had introduced video poker machines, later in the 2000s they slot style games to the machines. But when my brother-in-law passed away, I began to notice I was gambling more. By 1996, gambling became a problem and I was going more and more often. See, some of the reasons I used gambling was for an escape or trying to cope with the grief.

On top of this, I experienced childhood sexual trauma and abuse. When that pain came back and the grief of loss, I started gambling more. Those roots and underlying issues are why I used gambling to numb out. Sadly, once you lose control over your gambling and get sucked into the “cycle,” you can never gamble normally again. My gambling became a full-blown addiction.

One area stood out to me. Having a lot of access can bring gambling excess. I could walk across the street and gamble, or walk a block or two and gamble. Not only did we have Indian Casinos not too far, but the lottery video machines where in all our restaurants, deli’s, bars, and taverns. Very accessible.


Did you ever gamble online? What kind of sites?

Answer:
Believe it or not, at that time, I never gambled online. First, because we did not have internet at that time. Second, I was lover of all the lights, bells, and noises of a casino or playing the lottery sponsored machines. Even today, the online casinos really don’t cross my mind. I will be honest and transparent and share I have been to Casino.org and tried your free play games to see what is new for research for my advocacy work to stay updated on the trends, but I don’t play or buy anything! I don’t even play Facebook games. Even though there are games like trivia or scrabble type games, still, I avoid them.


Which games did you play most?

Answer:
When I did play back then be it at a casino or the lottery machines, I mostly played the slots or video poker.
I loved slots that had fun bonus rounds like video poker called “Flush Fever” …But most times I’d play slots.

Speaking at an addiction and recovery awareness event
at the Arizona State Capitol.

When did you notice it was becoming a problem? What were the signs?

Answer:
Again, I have to say it started in 1992, but really ramped up and crossed the line into full-blown gambling addiction around 1998. I had begun gambling more, higher betting, playing more money until I attempted suicide and my first addiction Crisis Center stay an began treatment for addicted gambling in November of 2002.

That is how bad my problem gambling became. It was a slow progressive climb to where I ended up a statistic of 1 in 5 addicted gamblers will try suicide. Looking back now, some of the warning signs were gambling for longer periods of time, lie about why I was gone so long. Stop doing things I enjoyed, missing family get togethers, call in sick to work if I was winning, ignored medical or dental appointments, work, began having money problems and arguments over money with my husband, etc.


How did gambling negatively affect you? E.g. financially, in relationships

Answer:
Some of the above and eventually when you have no money to gamble with? I began selling or pawning things of value, took out credit cards and payday loans my husband had no idea about. Dug us in a huge financial hole and lost my friendships with most of my friends. Would argue with co-workers, lost jobs over my gambling until it became NOT gambling with money any longer, I was gambling with my life and had two failed suicide attempts. Those were just some of the negative impacts I had from my gambling addiction. It was a never ending battle if I won or lost. When you lose control, when you win? You think you will win all the time. When you lose? You go back out and chase the money you lost. It become a sick “cycle” you can’t seem to get out of.


What did you do to overcome your addiction?

Answer:
I did ANY and EVERYTHING I could get my hands on to recover!

After my second failed suicide attempt in Jan. 2006, I started gambling treatment, again, and in the Addiction Crisis Center again and I guess you can call it a “do-over”… I finally surrendered to the fact that I can never gamble again like regular people who don’t have a problem. I had lost all control over my gambling to the point that it almost cost me my life. See, it is NOT about the money lost or won, it became life or death for me.

Here I was again, I began in-patient treatment for 30-days and transitioned into out-patient for the next 6-months, attended Gamblers Anonymous for many years as a source of support, treatment therapy, worked with an addiction specialist for a year to help me process and overcome the childhood trauma I endured, learn the process of forgiving and making my amends where needed. And began to slowly work through my financial inventory and slowly paying all my debts. I attend “Celebrate Recovery “virtually.

In 2010 to 2011, I wrote my memoirs to see everything gambling addiction had taken from me and my family and was published in book form in 2013 by “The Kodel Empire Publishing group.” In it I share the Why and How I became a gambling addict. It’s titled “Addicted to Dimes: Confessions of a Lair and a Cheat” available in paperback and e-book formats on Amazon and Barnes & Noble online bookstores.


What advice do you have for someone else who may be struggling?

Answer:
First, don’t wait to get help or suffer in silence like I did for many years from problem gambling. There
is help available in all states in the USA and in many countries around the world. There is no shame in reaching out for confidential help. If you’re not sure where to look for help, I founded and run my website called “Bet Free Recovery Now (Dot Com)” and have a page of resources of places I trust and have advocated alongside the work they do and the treatment services offered to those with a gambling problem or a full-blown gambling addiction.

No matter what type or your preference of gambling problem you may have, be it online gambling, casinos, lottery, bingo etc., there are many options for treatment and help to gain your life back. I need to be real and honest about gambling triggers, cravings, and urges to gamble, they will only subside when you refrain from gambling, and you’ll learn the skills and tools to help you refrain from gambling when you chose to get help.

realistically gambling of all types will never be banned or prohibited, and in some world countries, gambling is still illegal. And in the USA, there are still some states that sports betting online gambling is also illegal. Banning gambling would not be fair to those who can do it with no problems what so ever.

However, the public needs to be aware of the dangers and pitfalls and if or when it becomes a problem within there lives.

Advocate/Author Catherine Lyon

Happy Easter Recovery Friends & Warriors. Topics of Recovery Ramblings on a Special Day. Learning My God-Given Purpose In Life Through Life Lessons…

He died for our sins so we can have eternal life with Him. Have you accepted His free Gift of salvation? He loves you unconditionally… Have a Blessed Easter!

~Lydia Brady Grimes

I have been sharing and writing for over 14+years as a form of advocacy but also as a healing process to share my past of how far I have come within my recovery journey thus far. And through my redemption of my HP (God), he continues to have me grow and overcome challenges too. It’s a view into a life and journey from a cunning disease and what addicted gambling looks like. There is the GOOD, the BAD, and the very UGLY when deep in our addictions.


Today, I enjoy sharing all the GOOD and within the present, in the moment, and have built a new beautiful life with my amazing husband who, BTW, stuck with me all these years of CHAOS. I think he would agree that the past 14+years have been the best thus far! I have the blessings and honor of helping others, being of recovery service, speaking about the pitfalls of problem gambling, and I am proof recovery works.


I enjoy sharing my experiences, strength, and HOPE to others so they know they are not alone with addicted gambling problems and they can recover. It wasn’t always this way. Even though my past doesn’t define who I am, those years were rough and heart-breaking when I look back to this past addicted woman I was.


Many who have never been touched by any addictions or lived with an addict may not comprehend how much chaos and devastation that goes on with an addict and the people around them become caught in the cross hairs. It’s why we share are stories of addiction and what it takes to recover. It can be tools to help those reaching out for help.


When it comes to my side of the family, I had not hurt anyone when I was gambling addict. I lived in a different state at the time. And we had many beautiful memories of the years when my family came to visit us, we made sure we did lots of fun things and take my parents to many places in Oregon and have experiences they other wise may never had. And healing I have learned that full healing will most likely take a lifetime for me. That is the roots and the issues that sometimes I feel I still have more work to do around the old pain and hurt.

And it is why I hold firm to my faith and belief in GOD.

See, my father recently passed away on Jan. 29th, 2021, of COVID, which was the same day I made 14th-years celebrating my recovery. He lived in Southern California in the home I was raised and where horrible memories of my past childhood still lay. When I first began my recovery journey, I wasn’t ready to dive into my past childhood trauma, abuse, and haunting memories. Most this began and resurfaced when I turned 30, I lost my brother-in-law to cancer. He was the real brother I never had, and I would tell him everything.


After Mike’s passing, it took me a few years to get over his death with a lot of therapy to even begin to process it. Shortly after, is when all the haunting pain and memories flooded back. I had to learn to process them and forgive and lay those haunting memories away. It was some of the roots and underlying issues of how I got sucked into gambling addiction. I was using gambling as a coping skill, an escape, and numbing the pain of my childhood trauma and abuse until I finally could not stuff away any longer.


Then in 2003, my mom passed away. By then, I had about nine months of recovery when I began writing and journaling. The next few years were pretty rough. We seem to think our parents will always be with us. Still, more painful memories, and I was not ready to share that part of my past. Now that my mom and dad have passed on, here I go again; it has again begun to surface slightly. Even when I started to write my book all of 2010 into early 2011 to see all that gambling addiction had taken from me, was when I began a deep dive into all the sexual trauma and abuse I’d endured.


One of the many amazing things about truly working through my childhood was the act of taking every single thought and terrible memory that held me captive; I began to watch Christ redeem them, helping me face them, and feel them. Without making excuses. Without placing or taking the blame. Finally, today the abuse and abuser no longer linger in the darkest parts of your mind controlling or tainting the memories. That is how God works in your life!


So, now with the passing of my dad, even though we had not spoken in almost 15-years, I was able to still forgive him for it, accept and respect his choice. It still stung, but I have the comfort of knowing God and (my mom) has told him the truth about all that I went through as a little girl, was telling the truth, and that if he knew? I’m pretty sure he would have protected me. He would have understood the WHY I also sought his unconditional love and validation. I have the comfort of knowing he is now with our father above and at peace with my mom.


I will continue to live and build a beautiful and amazing life within my recovery!

ME and my HUBBY, Tom xoxo

March is Problem Gambling Awareness. Sharing Stats, Facts, & The Warning Signs. What is Problem Gambling Any way?

The National Council on Problem Gambling (NCPG) and other sources note the following statistics. 15 percent of Americans gamble at least once per week. Approximately two to three percent of Americans meet the criteria for problem gambling. That’s around 6 million adults and about a half million teens.

Courtesy of The National Council on Problem Gambling

The National Council on Problem Gambling (NCPG) and other sources note the following statistics.

• • 15 percent of Americans gamble at least once per week.
• • Approximately two to three percent of Americans meet the criteria for problem gambling. That’s around 6 million adults and about a half million teens.
• • Youth risk developing a gambling problem at a rate of about two to three times that of adults, and approximately 6 percent of college students in America have a gambling problem.
• • About 40 percent of people with a gambling problem started gambling before the age of 17.
• • Nevada has the highest prevalence of problem gambling in the country, at about 6.4 percent.
  
  

Effects of Problem Gambling

• • There are an array of harmful effects arising from problem gambling, including:
• • NCPG notes the annual cost associated with gambling (crime, addiction, and bankruptcy) is $17 billion.
• • Approximately 76 percent of problem gamblers are likely to have a major depressive disorder, according to the NCPG.
• • The NPCG also says children of problem gamblers are at higher risk for a number of behaviors including problem gambling, tobacco use, and drug use.
• • Oregon Problem Gambling Resource states that about 10 to 17 percent of children of problem gamblers and about 25 to 50 percent of spouses of problem gamblers have been abused.
• • Georgia State University (GSU) estimates that about 50 percent of problem gamblers commit crimes, and about 2/3 of those crimes were directly related to the gambling.
• • GSU also notes that 73 percent of people who are incarcerated are identified as problem gamblers.
• • An Australian study found that one in five suicidal patients had a gambling problem.

WHAT IS PROBLEM GAMBLING?

Gambling addiction—also known as pathological gambling, compulsive gambling or gambling disorder—is an impulse-control disorder. If you’re a compulsive gambler, you can’t control the impulse to gamble, even when it has negative consequences for you or your loved ones. You’ll gamble whether you’re up or down, broke or flush, happy or depressed, and you’ll keep gambling regardless of the consequences—even when you know that the odds are against you or you can’t afford to lose.

Of course, you can also have a gambling problem without being totally out of control. Problem gambling is any gambling behavior that disrupts your life. If you’re preoccupied with gambling, spending more and more time and money on it, chasing losses, or gambling despite serious consequences in your life, you have a gambling problem.

A gambling addiction or problem is often associated with other behavior or mood disorders. Many problem gamblers also suffer with substance abuse issues, unmanaged ADHD, stress, depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder. To overcome your gambling problems, you’ll also need to address these and any other underlying causes as well.
The first step is to separate the myths from the facts and what are the implications?

The Mayo Clinic identifies the following risk factors for developing a gambling problem.

• • Behavior or mood disorders
• • Age – the problem develops more frequently in young people
• • Family influence – whether parents and other close adults were gamblers
• • Personality characteristics such as high level of being competitive, or easily bored

Further, Problem Gambling Prevention identifies certain risk factors in teens, including:

• • Being male
• • Living in a single-parent household
• • Having a below-median household income
• • Early initiation – starting before 8th grade
• • Playing sports at school
• • Experiencing problems at home
• • Having low-self esteem and self-worth

Courtesy of http://risehelp.info/online-gambling/ The Rise Center Shares;

Online gambling casinos earned $29.3 billion in 2010, an increase of 12 percent. Morgan-Stanley projects that online gaming in the United States will be worth $9.3 billion by 2020. Currently, some states allow online gaming, including Nevada, New Jersey, and Delaware.

COLLEGE STUDENTS AND ONLINE GAMBLING

The fastest growing segment of the population involved in online gambling are college students. A University of Connecticut study showed:

• • 23 percent of college students had gambled online
• • 6.3 percent did so weekly
• • In the group that gambled frequently online, 61 percent were pathological gamblers.
• • In comparison, only 5 percent of non-internet gamblers were considered to have a gambling problem.

Another report on online gambling noted that the easy accessibility and frequency of play of online gambling present a significant risk of problem gambling.

OTHER INTERNET GAMBLING STATISTICS

Other statistics about online problem gambling include:

• • A 2013 Australian survey showed 30 percent of online gamblers were at risk of problem gambling. Only 15 percent of offline gamblers risked developing a problem.
• • BBC reports a rise in problem gambling in the 18 to 35 year old demographic in 2010, 2011, and 2012.
• • Another report links smartphone gaming to an increase in problem gambling.
  
  
  
  You can RISE above gambling and other addictions! 

Some of the life’s greatest milestones are threatened by problem gambling and other addictive behaviors. Addiction affects not only the addicted person, but the entire family and can cause a tremendous amount of wreckage and problems in all areas of life for everyone in the family.

RISE believes in the power of family recovery, and is passionate about providing help for both the individual and the family members. We aim to provide compassionate quality treatment for you and your loved ones on the journey to recovery and healing. Recovery starts with you. Rise has great resouces too!

Here are just of few of the resources that can STOP GAMBLING Your Life Away!

Gamblers Anonymous www.gamblersanonymous.org

National Council on Problem Gambling www.ncpgambling.org

Arizona Council on Problem Gambling https://problemgambling.az.gov/arizona-council-compulsive-gambling

Gam-Anon  (For Family/Friends of gambler) www.gam-anon.org

National Suicide Prevention Hotline https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Nevada Al-Anon (For Family/Friends Alcoholic) wwwnevadaal-anon.org

Al-Anon www.al-anon.org

Alcoholics Anonymous www.aa.org

Narcotics Anonymous www.na.org

Nar-Anon (Family/Friends) www.nar-anon.org

Game Quitters-Video Gaming Addictions http://gamequitters.com

Nevada Council on Problem Gambling www.nevadacouncil.org

Nevada Gamblers Helpline 1-800-522-4700

National Problem Gambling Helpline Text 800-522-4700

National Problem Gambling Helpline chat www.ncpgambling.org/ch

Vogue Recovery Center www.voguerecoverycenter.com

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In Case Of An Emergency Always Call 911 First.

Bet Free Recovery Now: Holiday Series. Real Voices & Real Stories of Gambling Recovery. Bernie’s Story…

It dosen’t matter the preference or choice of staying in action with gambling like slots, poker, lotto or scratch tickets …It is about learning to interrupt “The Cycle” and use the tools and skills we learn in our choice and path to recover from gambling addiction.

Advocate, Catherine Lyon

BERNIE’S STORY

I’m Bernie and I am a recovering Compulsive Gambler. My Last bet was November 21, 2007.

I grew up on a farm not too far from what is now known as Soaring Eagle Casino. I was not attracted to casinos because to me they were represented by a pole barn. The reason I say that, is because growing up that is what Soaring Eagle was. It wasn’t until much later that it became the place it is now. I found myself being a bit of a loner when I was really young but that only goes to the way I felt.

It wasn’t until High School in the fall of 1979 that I was introduced to what would become my chosen form of gambling (scratch-off tickets). Back then, it was just one now and then with friends from school. I went to a Christian High school a half hour away from where I lived, so the first 2 years I lived with a family in another town during the week. But most of this has little to do with the active part of my addiction.

I was however exposed to functional alcoholism during this time. When I started driving I started smoking and on occasion buying scratch-offs. The smoking became a problem when I was diagnosed with clergies and lost interest due to how it was affecting my breathing, but the gambling was still just a ‘once in a while’ activity.

While in college I met and married my first wife. It was at this time that I saw my first look at what a compulsive gambler looked like. My mother-in-law had a room filled with losing tickets of every sort and was always getting them. I swore at that moment that I would never be like that. She was a nice person most of the time, but the things I saw with her gambling was not very pleasant. Over the years, I would begin to gravitate toward doing exactly what I said I would never do.

My marriage became a stress point for me. We had two sons and I was still getting my degree several years into the marriage. We argued more and more as I went from low paying job to low paying job. By the time 2000 rolled around, I had had a good job with the state, but it was not enough because we were both driving insane distances for work. I left there due to failing a training process, to try and get closer to home and returned to lower paying jobs. I tried to start a business or two and failed to ‘make enough’. This led me to wanting to stay away from home more.

With me working at convenience store and as a direct care worker, I was able to do that but needed to ‘kill time’ to avoid her (my wife). My addiction became worse and gave me a way to stay away during times we were both awake and home more. I’d get home after she had gone to sleep and she would be off to work by the time I woke up. Gambling had become an escape from the problem.

In 2007, my world began to come apart! My mom died and later I would almost lose my job as a result of someone stealing from my till. That resulted in a big argument and fighting to get my job back. Then would come my suicidal feelings (they had always been under the surface but this brought them out in spades). I ended up spending time in an adult psychiatric hospital for 10 days which gave my then wife time to discover just how bad my gambling had become.

This led to more fights and after several years of arguing came the separation. Then came divorce and the realization that all these years I had actually had Asthma and Sleep Apnea. Ultimately the divorce made recovery better for me and in 2013 I remarried a wonderful woman who has been my rock.

Back to 2007, November 21, 2007 to be exact. I went to my first Gamblers Anonymous meeting that night and after it I bought what would be my last scratch-off ticket. That action sent me into tears as I realized I had a problem. It was $1 but it was after hearing stories of people who went to prison and experienced losing everything. How could I buy a ticket after that?

Since that time, I have focused on using my background to help others who are in recovery. It took some time to get my feet under me and deal with my addiction, but once that began I was writing and even speaking about the addiction. That is how I got to where I am today and doing what I do today.

My background is as a Bachelors Level Social Worker with the following added pieces: I started out studying to be a Lutheran Minister, focused on knowing my faith. I studied informally, as well as formally, many world religions. I studied to be a teacher for a short time. I studied Psychology (which became my minor). As I started recovery, I studied everything I could to understand addiction and combined what I learned with every experience and educational aspect of my life.

That said, I am disabled because of health issues today, but I still push forward with writing and creating materials. My first 3 years of recovery were my hardest as I continued to sell my addiction to others while figuring out how to stay clean in this environment.

Today, I am living proof that we can stop our addicted gambling and be successful maintaining long-term recovery and why I continue to SHARE HOPE, so others with a problem will reach out for help like I did. You don’t have to suffer in silence.

Please reach out to Gamblers Anonymous here http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/content/about-us and find a meeting in your area. It is a great place to start …Bernie.


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Bet Free Recovery Now Holiday Series: Real Stories & Voices of Problem Gambling. Our Featured Resource is GAMTALK. Gambling Help During The Holiday’s ~Meet Lisa & Story…#2

Hello, my name is Lisa and I am a recovering compulsive gambler. 

A little bit about my background. My mother passed away when I was 8 years old. It turned my whole world upside down in an instant. I was separated from my family and was sent to live with my father whom I did not know, down in Georgia. I went to live at a children’s home when I was 11.


Looking back it was the best thing that could have happened to me. Went through routine teenager stuff for the most part. Met my now ex-husband and we were married for 26 years. I have twin boys who will soon be 30 and a beautiful granddaughter. I should mention here that my ex was in the military, we moved around a lot and I raised our boys mostly on my own. I have always relied on myself to handle things, not always the best decision. I never learned to ask for help or truly trust anyone.


When my ex got ready for retirement we finally moved back home to Washington, who says you can never go home again? It was a very difficult transition. Funny when I think of it now, how when I lived here before, I had the most traumatic experience of my life when my mom died, now back home I had to deal with the second most traumatic experience, my kids going through some very trying stuff (law breaking/possible prison) and a divorce that was a long time coming.


I couldn’t deal with it at all and I went off the deep end and down the dark rabbit hole which is known to a lot of us as the casino. My kids were off on their own, my ex was living the high life, I had disposable income and low self-esteem and nowhere to go, no place safe, no way to stop all the screaming, crying voices in my head. I had been to the casino socially and it was no big deal, had dinner, would play $20 and I could call it good. At least for a while.


My gambling career lasted for about 6 years. I knew things where changing about half way in and couldn’t stop myself. It was a place to go any time of day or night, didn’t matter what I looked like, I could smoke all I wanted and no one to bother me. It was my safe place, what a joke that turned out to be. Then I turned the corner and lied to my son, of course by then I was lying to everyone about where I was and what I was doing and no one ever understood why I never had any money. I was a closet gambler, no one knew.

I finally started writing bad checks and covered my last one with my son’s money by telling him I needed it to cover one from the grocery store and I was getting paid the next day. He loaned me the money and I did pay it back the next day but that was it for me, I couldn’t do this to my child, for me, I had crossed some line. Of course, there is more to my story, but to go forward …


I finally broke down and went to a local GA group in town. Whew, what a monumental life changing experience. I went to meetings, I got a sponsor, began to work the steps and eventually I found peace. I could look myself in the eye, I had goals. I had money again and was eventually able to buy my first home all by myself. I stayed bet free for 3-years until about a month ago. That is what has prompted me to share my story, my relapse. Working Step 4 all over again. I would never recommend a relapse but for me, it was the best thing that has ever happened to me. During my 3-years bet free, I always had this “what if” thing hanging over my head. Asking myself, what would it be like, could I gamble socially, am I really and truly a compulsive gambler…


I think subconsciously I planned it all along and now that it is over and done with I am good. All questions answered. YES, I am a compulsive gambler without a doubt. I started right where I left off. So how did I get to that point and what did I do about it. Well first off, I had quit going to my GA meetings. For several reasons, the group is small and became toxic, it became harder and harder to put principals before personalities. It was no longer a safe place for me to go.


So, I resigned my chairing and treasury positions and quit. Are there other meetings yes, but I was burned out. Now to back up a bit, I live in my little house which I absolutely love. Nothing special, but it’s all mine and I now share it with 2 of my younger brothers whom I have gotten reunited with over the years after having moved back home. For the most part it is working out wonderfully, but mind you I did not grow up with siblings. I did not grow up learning the art of conflict or arguing. I avoid confrontation on all fronts. Be invisible, keep your head down and keep going, I should note here that I have changed that way of thinking in a big way thanks to what I have learned in GA.


So long story short, had a huge argument with my brother that lasted for weeks, my home was no longer my emotionally safe place. I avoided it as much as I could. I knew I was about to go off the edge. I had many options, I could have called someone, could have looked for this website (GamTalk), could have gone to one of the other meetings, I knew exactly what I was doing and did it anyway. I wanted to, I am a risk taker, I wanted the questions answered, truth is, I already knew the answer.


So off to the casino I went. I purposefully went out of town so as to hopefully not be seen by anyone I knew. Sneaky behavior…I lied about where I was…old habits coming back never skipping a beat. So off I went ready and excited… I won, left with money and all the way home I kept telling myself it can’t end this way, so I went back the next day fully intent on losing it all. I did and then some, per usually gamblers behavior.

I did enough damage to hurt but not wipe me out. It’s a control thing and I fully recognize how I had subconsciously planned for this. What surprised me the most is how I have handled the relapse. First thing I did was to beat myself up on the long drive home, but I got home early and it was still day light, normally after a loss I would crawl in bed for days, even miss work.

Instead I put in my earphones started listening to gamblers stories and went for a 2 hour walk. I spent the next two days outside, hiking and driving through some of our beautiful state parks, totally outside the box of a normal day in my life. I wrote in my journal. I wrote my gratitude list, I prayed, I chatted a bit on this site. I feel relieved. I feel peace. I am renewed and ready to continue my recovery. I know that in GA I have to start over but I am not letting 9 hours of my relapse time to wipe out over a 1000 days of recovery. At least that is where my mind is at and I have had the best weeks in my life since.


I had to cleared the air with my brother and my home is my safe place again and I will never give that up again. I believe and completely trust my higher power. The nagging questions in the back of my mind are answered and put to rest. I have bounced back financially. I have left out a lot of details, but the bulk of it is now written, step 4, part of it anyway, sharing with you is step 5 for me. Thank you for being here, I intend to continue here as part of my ongoing recovery. This is just one more chapter in the book of my life, it had its twists and turns, but it’s not the end by far… Bless you!


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This story is courtesy of a great place to be for those trying to stay in or maintain recovery from problem or addicted gambling. A resource called GAMTALK and free to JOIN: https://www.gamtalk.org/join/
They have several resources and you can chat with like minded people in the Chat Forum or The Community Wall and is run by the Founder, Dr. Richard Wood and they support all things GA. (Gamblers Anonymous) and more.

Please, stop by there GAMTALK’s website and see for yourself how helpful it is or if you know anyone with a gambling problem. They are sponsored by many who care about those who may become addicted to gambling… ~Advocate, Catherine Lyon

Dr. Wood has published numerous gambling related articles, presented his findings at conferences and seminars around the world, and undertaken many responsible gaming consultations for both the gaming industry and regulatory sectors. His research focuses on both the individual causes of problem gambling, as well as the structural characteristics of games that can influence the gambling behaviour of vulnerable players.

Specialties: Designing effective responsible gambling strategies. Examining the structural and situational characteristics of game design and gaming environments to minimise any negative consequences for ‘vulnerable’ players.

Understanding the psychology of gaming in order to promote healthy gaming attitudes and behaviours, investigating problem gambling and evaluating treatment and intervention programs.

He provides online support for people with gambling issues on GAMTALK.
He resides in Ontario, Canada

How To Handle Roadblocks & Challenges or Even After a Relapse On Your Road To Recovery…

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When we begin our recovery path, there might be times we feel like we can’t move past those speed bumps or the hurdles during this journey. I would search for the answers to why I’d feel stuck and think, how do I move forward?

Why do I get a stretch of abstinence and then relapse?

What if I’m not strong enough not to cave in to cravings, urges, and triggers?

What can I do not to RELAPSE?

These are excellent questions and concerns we all have to face while maintaining our recovery journey. Some can be quick fixes, or some may mean you have more work to do within your recovery path. See, recovery is not only a life long process, and it does come to us in phases. Our redemption from gambling addiction is ever-evolving as we grow and gain the wisdom to know we can not control our gambling.

So we explore all have the options to choose how we begin to live our lives in a healthy way and away from gambling addiction or any addiction really.

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First, I would remind everyone I have an excellent Relapse Prevention Guide here everyone can copy and paste this little workbook Relapse Prevention Guide…

Next is doing the “work” that is asked of you while you begin to learn the tools and the skills that will save your life. Next is being diligent in using all the tools you learn. It’s Not complicated. But, still, many can struggle as they begin the journey. We have choices to pick from to start our path of recovery. It may be a 12-Step Program, Faith-Based Program, or something altogether different. You may want an in-patient treatment center program or an outpatient treatment program that offers therapy or counseling, whatever you feel is right and comfortable for you even though moving away from addiction is uncomfortable.

I advocate much throughout social media. I see many disagreements going on within groups and others wanting to force how they chose how to recover and what works for them onto others who may just be looking for help or support within recovery. I’ve read on Facebook the never-ending battles play out of those who only chose a 12-Step Program all by itself, and it got them clean, sober, or gamble free.

I would be suspect of this and not fair of those to force their choices on others. What others disagree on is,  what long-term recovery is, and how many years you need to have to use this term. Loads of different disagreements and that is not what maintaining recovery and doing our work is all about. And for those in early recovery, seeing others get “Called Out” can also be a source of relapse to see such discord.

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My feelings are and just my OWN OPINIONS. Look, as long as you have the desire to stop gambling, knowing it is making your life unmanageable? It should be your choice alone or with your family of what works and is comfortable for you. Now, you have now chosen your treatment path. You’ll begin to realize and come to terms with the recovery work you’ll need to do in the first few years of this journey.

You’ll start to learn and gain the skills and tools required to interrupt the “cycle” of addiction, which is an essential part of this process. Becoming educated and informed about this disease while digging deeper into acknowledging the roots and underlying issues that had you turn to addicted gambling for a few hours of solace, or trying to not feel anything for a few hours.

As I started my recovery work and therapy, it became clear to me it was the pain from my childhood trauma and sexual abuse as some of those roots and why I was gambling and looking for relief from the old haunting pain and hurtful memories. Let me end with a little Facebook experiment I did a few weeks ago with a newer recovery blog post I wrote and shared on my FB recovery page.

I then did a FB Boosted Post advertising to direct FB users to my recovery blog to read this new post. I targeted the ad to the states of Oregon, California, Florida, and here in Arizona.

Here is how it performed and told me there are many problem gamblers out there still needing help and HOPE.

The post was seen and reached:
3,564  FB users
Engagement and Clicks: 231  FB Users
42.7% were Women of Age 45+
57.3% were Men of Age 55+

I was pretty shocked at these results, and the ad ran for only three days. It sure tells me I got a lot more advocacy work to do and to share hope and resources with those who have a gambling problem … ~Catherine

Some Solid Advice Instead of Gambling Your Money Away …

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A Win For Slowing Online Sports Gambling Options! An Article of Bravery By The NY Times Shares as a New York State of Appeals Court Rules The Future of Fantasy Sportsbetting Contests into DOUBT.

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Through all the hard work of advocacy and supporting the team and director, Les Bernal and others involved with “The Stop Predatory Gambling Foundation.”
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We finally have WIN and movement toward slowing down the online sports betting venue of Fantasy Football and FanDuel! So much has come from the team of Les’s within Washington D.C. of hitting legislation hard to change the way they illegally advertise, offer, and prey on those who have gambling problems. So much so that ‘The New York Times’ has done an amazing article all about it.
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I’ll leave that to Les Bernal to share the news with this announcement I got by Email Today and Share The Story from The NY Times…

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Dear Catherine, Victims of state government’s commercialized gambling scheme experienced a major legal win yesterday in NY. Here is The New York Times coverage of the court decision declaring so-called “daily fantasy sports” (DFS) for what it really is: commercialized gambling. The New York State Constitution puts the power to expand gambling into the hands of the people, requiring a statewide vote. The NY Legislature, in partnership with powerful financial interests who stood to benefit from this latest form of commercialized gambling, tried to avoid this constitutional requirement when it pushed through a bill adding DFS to its existing wealth-extraction arsenal of lottery scratch tickets, electronic Quick Draw (i.e. Keno), regional casinos, and slot machine parlors. This victory is a direct result of the hard work and talent of Attorney Neil Murray. Despite the heavy demands of his practice, Neil has sacrificed an enormous amount of his time over the last twenty years to act against the injustice, poverty, and life-changing harm caused by commercialized gambling, especially in his home state of NY. This remarkable effort is his most recent achievement. The lawsuit challenging the constitutionality of the law was coordinated by Stop Predatory Gambling. It was filed on behalf of four plaintiffs who had suffered personal or family harm from gambling debts resulting from commercialized gambling promoted by the state. Commercialized gambling is America’s biggest most-neglected problem. At a time when more than 60% of our citizens have less than $1000 in savings, people are on a collision course to lose more than $1 trillion of personal wealth to commercialized gambling over the next eight years. Our vision and plan is to reduce that financial harm by 50% during that span. The work of Attorney Murray moved us one step closer to achieving this goal. You can read the full decision here. All The Best, …… Les Bernal National Director Stop Predatory Gambling ____________________________________ Who We Are — – A 501c3 non-profit based in Washington, DC, we are a national social reform network of citizens and organizations from across the U.S. – We believe in improving the lives of the American people with compassion and fairness, freeing us from the impoverishment, exploitation, and fraud that commercialized gambling spreads. – We are one of the most diverse organizations in the United States, one in which conservatives and progressives work side-by-side to improve the common good. What We Stand For — – We believe everyone should have a fair opportunity to get ahead and improve their future. – We believe every person’s life has worth and that no one is expendable. – We believe that a good society depends on the values of honesty, concern for others, mutual trust, self-discipline, sacrifice, and a work ethic that connects effort and reward. – We believe no government body should depend on predatory gambling to fund its activities. If you share our beliefs, please help sustain our work by making a tax-deductible, financial gift today of $10 or mo

Stop Predatory Gambling Foundation 100 Maryland Avenue NE, Room 310  | Washington, District of Columbia 20002 (202) 567-6996 | les@stoppredatorygambling.org

Follow Us

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Fantasy Sports Contests Are Illegal Gambling, New York Appeals Court Rules

The court found that the law was unconstitutional, dealing a setback to sites such as FanDuel and DraftKings.  By Michael Levenson  Feb. 7, 2020, 6:23 a.m. ET

A New York State appeals court on Thursday struck down most of a law that authorized fantasy sports in the state, dealing a setback to companies like FanDuel and DraftKings in one of their most lucrative markets.

The law, signed by Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo in August 2016, declared that fantasy sports did not constitute gambling and provided for consumer safeguards, minimum standards and the registration, regulation, and taxation of daily fantasy sports providers.

In October of that year, the law was challenged by four New York residents who said they had been harmed by gambling, including one woman, Jennifer White, whose father regularly patronized off-track betting facilities in Western New York while her mother was besieged by loan sharks and creditors.

Their lawsuit argued that the law carved out an illegal exemption to the State Constitution’s prohibition on gambling, which forbids the practice except for a few exceptions, including at a limited number of horse tracks and casinos.

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Legalizing daily fantasy sports, the lawsuit argued, would require a constitutional amendment approved by New York State voters, not a simple statutory change signed by the governor.

In 2018, Acting Justice Gerald W. Connolly of Albany County Supreme Court agreed with part of the lawsuit, holding that the law, to the extent that it authorized daily fantasy sports, violated the Constitution’s ban on gambling. At the same time, the court found that the Legislature had acted properly when it exempted daily fantasy sports from the penal code.

“On Thursday, the New York Supreme Court’s Appellate Division delivered a stronger ruling for the law’s opponents, finding both that the law was unconstitutional and that daily fantasy sports could not be exempted from the penal code.”

The ruling was based on the court’s finding that, while daily fantasy sports require skill, they also involve a degree of chance — such as whether a player might have an injury or illness or be affected by bad weather or poor officiating.

Cornelius D. Murray, who represents the four New Yorkers who brought the lawsuit, said he was pleased with the decision.

“As of today,” he said, “the legislation purporting to legalize daily fantasy sports is unconstitutional, so the penal law prohibiting it remains on the books.”

The office of the state attorney general, Letitia James, said it was reviewing the ruling and had no further comment. The governor’s office did not respond to requests for comment.

FanDuel said in a statement, “We expect that there will be an appeal and we’ll be able to continue to offer contests while that appeal is decided.”

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DraftKings also issued a statement saying that “the legislative action authorizing fantasy sports in New York was constitutional and in the best interests of taxpayers and fantasy sports fans.”
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Robert S. Rosborough IV, a partner at Whiteman Osterman & Hanna who specializes in appellate litigation and who has followed the case, said the final determination on the law’s constitutionality was likely to be made by the state’s highest court, the Court of Appeals. Until then, he said, customers will still be able to play daily fantasy sports in New York.

“The games can continue while the state appeals, but the future is certainly in flux after this ruling,” Mr. Rosborough said.

The Fantasy Sports & Gaming Association, an industry group, estimates that 59 million people played fantasy sports in the United States and Canada in 2017 — more than double the 27 million who played in 2009. Two out of three were men, their average age was 32, and each user spent an average of $653 annually on the sites.

DraftKings and FanDuel, which operate in 43 states, including New York, together accounted for almost all of the $390 million in revenue generated by daily fantasy sports in 2019, according to Chris Krafcik, a managing director at Eilers & Krejcik Gaming, a research and consulting firm.

New York, with its large, sports-crazed and relatively wealthy population, is easily one of the three largest daily fantasy sports markets in the United States, alongside California and Texas, Mr. Krafcik said.

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Holiday Budgeting ~ Gambling Recovery Finance and Budgeting Advice By Guest Alek S…Don’t Go Overboard!

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Now that the holiday season is here, for those recovering from gambling addiction may feel a little more stress over finances this time of year. We know this addiction is and was financially draining and emotionally. My guest Alek has some sound advice on how to keep it all together and share how to tighten our budget and keep some money over the holiday season.

Many of us doing our financial inventories may have worked hard to clean up our credit and get things back on track. But let us learn from Alek how to not go overboard as to running the risk of being once again burdened with loads of debt after the holidays. I hope you find this guest post informative and helpful.

~Advocate, Catherine Lyon

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How to Tighten Your Budget Over the Holiday Season~by Alek Sabin

 

Coming into the holidays tends to generate a lot of excitement. There are all sorts of parties to go to, goodies to eat, and gifts to share. However, in the midst of this joyful season, your pocketbook is almost certainly going to take a bit of a hit. Indeed, the holidays can be so financially taxing that most financial experts recommend having a budget for the holidays that you save for throughout the rest of the year. However, you don’t need to go into the red this year, if you take some simple steps to help tighten your budget.

The key to enjoying the festivities without the added stress of going into debt is to be smart and plan ahead. Check out some of the following suggestions to keep your bank account happy for the rest of the year!

Make a List and Stick to It

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Take the time to think ahead and make a list of each of the people you want to buy presents for this year. Once you have a list, take your planning to the next level and decide what it is you would like to give them. This will be especially helpful in a variety of ways, including:

• Removing the possibility of overspending or buying more presents for any one person than you intended.
• Removing the risk of impulse purchases.
• Allowing you to price shop so you can get the best deal on each gift, including giving you the chance to watch for special holiday sales.
• Making sure you do not forget anyone and cause yourself additional stress.

 

Set Aside The Money

Once you have set a budget for the amount you are willing and able to spend on the holidays this year, find a way to set it aside. Easily keep track of your money now and throughout the year by employing these tips.

 

• • Set aside a special pot of money just for the holidays: Whether this is a bank account you put money in specifically for the holidays or a literal jar you have in your home that you periodically deposit money into, keep your holiday money separate from all of your other money. This will help you know exactly what you have available to spend and keep you from spending money that should be going toward more important things, like the mortgage and food.

 

• Only use cash for your holiday spending: If you would rather draw the money out of your normal bank account, withdraw the money into cash and know that is all you have to spend. Being able to visually see the amount of money you have left to spend will help you to make economic choices. Once the money is gone, you are done spending for the holidays.
  

• Have a strict meal plan: Holiday parties and get-togethers are likely to boast large and delicious meals, and can cost a pretty penny (especially if you are hosting one yourself). However, you should make a point to ensure that the rest of your meals are more structured and less expensive, in order to save a buck or two (or more) for the rest of the holiday. Whether this includes cooking all of your meals at home or finding clever ways to save money when you eat out.
  

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Look for Alternatives to Purchased Gifts
If the wallet is tight this year, consider other options for gifts you may give rather than ones purchased in the store. For a neighbor, you may offer to walk their dog or shovel their sidewalks. If you are making holiday treats, make a few extra and take some treats to friends or to the office. Encourage children to be creative and make each other homemade gifts.

Let Someone Else Host This Year

While presents are a costly part of the holiday season, another stress on your finances is holiday parties and dinners. Purchasing the food, drinks, decorations, and outfits for these events while entertaining can quickly add up to a pretty penny. Consider allowing (or even asking!) someone else to host the party this year. If you still find yourself playing host, look for ways to ease the burden on yourself by making it a potluck meal or a BYOB …

Save Your Receipts

By saving all of your receipts, you can then log your spending when you get home in a notebook or spreadsheet. This will help you to keep a running total and assist in staying within your budget. Another less thought of a reason for keeping receipts is that some stores will reimburse you for the difference if an item goes on sale after you purchase it. While this is not true of all stores, it never hurts to ask and you will need your receipt to get your money back!

 

 

Happy Recovery Holiday Season!

Gambling Recovery and Dual Diagnosis, Co-occur, or Dual Addictions With Other Disorders. What’s The Difference? I am and Many Are and Growing …

When I was gambling addictively and to the point of my first failed suicide attempt in 2002, I was transferred from the hospital to a mental health and addiction crisis center for a 20-day stay and where my gambling treatment began. While I was there my primary doctor and their psychiatrist found after a series of tests that I was also suffering from several mental health disorders.

I wasn’t until my gambling addiction that brought to the surface these symptoms and could be properly diagnosed. They both came to the conclusion as well that I may have been suffering from some of the mental and emotional disorders since birth. Now, the catch was to be properly diagnosed and reassessed after you begin the path of recovery. It took some months to get it right.

See, I was using gambling to escape, and numb out many haunting memories and feelings from my abuse and traumatic past that began to came back and had happened to me as a little girl including being sexually abused. So needless to say, I was suffering from PTSD, severe manic depression, mania, OCD and bipolar one with insomnia at the time I entered the crisis center.

They ordered a brain scan at the time and found I had depleted the “pleasure and reward” chemical and system of my brain from the many years of addictive gambling and had no feelings or sense of pleasure, but thinking I was getting it when I gambled. I was a Hot Mess!

I know, it all sounds confusing and was for me at the time. But, I listened to my doctors and began medication and therapy process that would take a long while and a few changes to my meds to get my mental health under control and begin the recovery work needed to regain my life back and to begin feeling better.

So, what are Dual Diagnosis, Co-occurring, and Co-addictions?  I came across a good article by way of the fine folks of  “Recovery Ranch Center” that really explains the differences when you are treated for gambling addiction. Co-addiction however, just means you are suffering from more than one addiction at a time.

The most recent research I could find about dual-addictions, meaning being treated for more than one addiction at the same time was from an article from 2003: …”About 1.1 million Americans received treatment for addiction to drugs, alcohol, or both on a typical day last year, according to findings from the 2003 National Survey of Substance Abuse Treatment Services (N-SSATS). Half of those receiving treatment were addicted to both drugs and alcohol.”

I am sure this total has risen in the past 15-years now with the opioid crisis and epidemic happening. Here is the article I found and more about Gambling Addiction and having Mental Health and Disorders as being Dually-Diagnosed …

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Gambling Addiction Often Co-Occurs With Other Disorders
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Oftentimes, when a person shows symptoms of an addiction to something, there are other problems at play in their mind. For the addiction to be treated, the other disorders also need to be addressed, like mental illness.

A webinar that focused on how to counsel the pathological gambler revealed other disorders that often co-exist with a gambling addiction. Dr. Jon Grant, Professor of Psychiatry & Behavioral Neuroscience at the University of Chicago and supervisor of an outpatient clinic for those with an addictive-impulsive disorder, discussed other mental health disorders and other addictions that are associated with gambling addictions and offered ideas on how to treat those individuals.

WHEN A FULL HOUSE CAN WRECK THE HOME

People start gambling for multiple reasons. Some enjoy the thrill, the risk-taking, and the power. Some, who feel isolated, use it as a way to feel social. Others use it as a way to relieve stress and anxiety or even to try to cure their depression. Yet, one addiction cannot properly heal another.

Gambling addictions are associated with multiple problems that weaken personal and family life:

• Poor physical health
• Poor mental health
• Losing a job
• Bankruptcy
• Criminal behavior
• Divorce

Sometimes those problems come before the gambling problem, driving the person to look for satisfaction in a dangerous venue if not controlled. Those who already suffer from a mental health disorder are more at risk for addiction when gambling. For others, gambling addiction is the cause of the other family and personal problems that come later.

ADDICTIVE BEHAVIORS ASSOCIATED WITH GAMBLING

Those with gambling addictions also often suffer from substance abuse. Dr. Grant states that substance abuse is seven times greater in those who gamble. Nicotine and alcohol are the most commonly used substances.

Grant also mentioned that disorders with symptoms of being impulsive and risky were also frequently seen in those with gambling addictions. There were associations between individuals with gambling addiction and those who also had problems with impulsive shopping, stealing, eating, and sexual behavior.

MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS ASSOCIATED WITH GAMBLING

Pathological gambling has been associated with serious mental illnesses, sometimes as the cause and other times as the result of untreated mental illness. Depression and anxiety are two of the most common mental illnesses associated with gambling addiction. Some hope that a roll of the dice or the spin of the slot machines can help them have some fun in life and help them relax. In reality, over time it often makes the depression and anxiety worse.

Dr. Grant revealed that 76 percent of a gambling addiction treatment group suffered from depression. Astoundingly, 16 to 40 percent of pathological gamblers suffered from lifetime anxiety. For some, the pressure becomes too great. The risk of suicide is higher in gamblers than non-gamblers.

Other mental illnesses associated with gambling are bipolar disorder and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Of a study group, 24 percent of pathological gamblers had a lifetime prevalence of bipolar disorder. Twenty percent had symptoms for a life-time prevalence of ADHD or OCD and most likely born with them.

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Dr. Grant stresses that when treating those with a gambling addiction, all of their disorders should be identified and prioritized for treatment. Through methods such as medication, cognitive behavioral therapy, and support those with a gambling addiction can find healing and become a winner for life.

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I Hope you find this article and my sharing of my recovery from gambling addiction having still today, managed mental and emotional disorders. I make sure now I make all my doctor visits and get a physical each year to remain healthy and managed. If you don’t have your health? You can’t be of help to others. And maintaining recovery means having to put YOU! First including your Health!

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~Catherine Townsend-Lyon, Advocate/Author 

 

 

 

Dear Gambling Addiction, ~ It’s My Final Goodbye…Part One

“It is time to make amends and to forgive me.”

I Am A Recovering Gambling Addict.
In Recovery As of – Jan 29th, 2007
1996 to 2007- “I was a gambling addict until I entered recovery.”

Dear Gambling Addiction,

It has been some time now since we have been together, or had any contact between the two of us now for 10+ years. So I thought it was time to for a final goodbye but first catch up on the years we have been apart, and this will be my last contact with you.

Things have been going well for me these past years. Yes, you have crossed my mind in those early years, but I never had the courage to bring myself to tell you that it was time for “A Final Goodbye” forever as it stings for it to be so final…..Like a loss or death. This time it is your funeral and not mine, as my two failed suicides were enough for me.

YES, we have drifted apart, so this shouldn’t be a surprise or difficult for either of us to finally be silent from one another. We have been through so much together. And not all was positive. Yes, we shared and had some good times, but that ended up turning deadly for me. Many of those bad memories are pretty tough to forget. I just could not deny or see how you began to HURT me in our friendship. I didn’t understand at the middle to end of our friendship and then breakup that you could be so mean, hurtful and abusive to me.

WHY?

Do you not remember the times I’m talking about? There were many I can recall.

Please, do I have to remind you of all the times you were just a jackass to ME? So much so I tried to kill myself twice because of you! You want me to go THERE? Why don’t we start around the time we first met. We had seen each other around a little, once for my 21st birthday in Las Vegas, then in Reno once a year with my girls, or at the Indian Casino 40 miles from my home once every 3 to 4 months.

But where did we get to know each other well? It was at all the “Oregon State Lottery Retail” stores opening up everywhere! It was where you and 5 of your video poker machine buddies seemed to be each time we ran into each other. I began to like you a lot and not be able to stay away from you. It was if you had all the control and I just went along with it. That was my downfall.

Especially when I started seeing your shiny video lottery signs outside all the bars and taverns around town, and even in most of the restaurants where hubby and I would go to eat. OH PLEASE, don’t get your panties in a bunch! I knew you were always mad or jealous of Tom my husband the first time you saw us together. I never understood why you didn’t like Tom, and why you were always HELL BENT to do anything to break our marriage apart! Well, I guess most was my fault as I feel “head over heals” in love with YOU dear video and slot machines. You turned out to be the best part of each day. I longed for you like a lover.

I know it was YOU who was always there for me when I was tired, bored, lonely, angry or had too much time on my hands, too much alcohol, and when Tom worked out-of-town those few years, you kept me high and we had such FUN! That’s when you and I got to know each other intimately, and we spent many, many hours together. It was like you loved me so much that all I could see and think of was you. You listened to what said, knew how I was feeling. You made me feel wanted and special.

Then, to be able to spend more time with you, I had to begin to lie bout where I was all the time. I began to see you before, during, and after work. Then, toward the end of our friendship, you became more greedy and started to cost me a fortune in wasted money, taking more of my time from life, friends, then the job loss, our home, even pawning my jewelry! Need I go on?

You even had a hand in me being “arrested,” then a had a criminal record when I’d never stolen a penny in all the years I worked in the banking field or wasn’t even spending time with you anymore! You had me in such dire financial distress. Yes, I know, that was my fault because I stole from someone just to be able to able to pay my bills. That was even after I tried to stop seeing you! You were like a bad affair I couldn’t get rid of like the movie, “Basic Instinct.”

THEN? before I entered recovery the first time, you began to just take and take from me. Year after year until I had nothing left to give. THE MADNESS and INSANITY HAD TO STOP!

TO BE CONTINUED…..

Catherine Townsend-Lyon, Author/Freelance writer