In Your Past ADDICTION . . . .
Thank Goodness for God’s Mercy & Forgiveness Right?
I usually don’t talk a lot about my “spiritual side,” as I don’t want to offend or make my friends who visit uncomfortable. I think that needs to change. I do have feelings around this topic. Many feel a 12-Step Program is drenched in religion, or you have to belong to a church or thoughts along this line. But it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Many also get so wrapped up in a 12-step program and think that’s all you need to recover. That to is not true. Each one of us come to recovery from different paths and many different addictions. So, I feel we need to explore ALL options to be successful in long-tern recovery . . . .
Many times I thought to myself, the one thing I seemed to have been missing in my recovery, especially in early recovery was the “spiritual” side of myself. When we first reach out for the insanity of addiction to stop, we come to seek recovery so broken and lost, when life seems very, very dark. At least that is how it was for me. For me, I had just come out of inpatient treatment and from an Addiction/Mental Crisis center after my 1st failed suicide attempt. So I surely was not feeling very “holy” at this time. Far from it.
I was feeling like God had turned his back on me. But that wasn’t the case at all, it was me who had turned my back on God. He would never have done that to one of his children. Many in recovery just don’t understand the love he has for all of us. If you begin to believe in his loving power over your life, you begin to learn that he was with you each step of the way. Be it within your addictions or in recovery, he knew all before you even thought it or did it. He see’s our path he has laid out before us. No, it may not be perfect, or even a happy life all the time, because we need to learn from the many trials within this path. It is how we gain our “spiritual wisdom.” It’s about open mind open heart as to believe in a power greater than ourselves to be restored. My higher power just happens to be God, his son Jesus Christ, and The holy Spirit who ties us all together.
And no, I never felt I had to attend someone else’s Church, some organized religion, or listen to some pastor or priest tell me my faults and character defects. I believe that is NOT having a real true personal relationship with God, and his Son Jesus. My relationship with him is between me and God, his son and the holy spirit. When you have faith and hope given to you by God alone, you can believe he will perform many miracles & blessings in your life, and within your recovery journey. That is a major part of how I got to where I am today. Without believing that he could restore me, and show me a better way of life, I knew I couldn’t lose in my recovery! And it is written in the gospel . . .
See, I was actually raised Catholic, but around 20 I became disillusioned with the rituals and confession. Why do I need to go into a box with a priest on the other side of that box to confess my sins? I can get on my knee’s and do that as part of my personal relationship with my GOD. To repent and ask for forgiveness of my wrong doings. I just became more and more uncomfortable with confession. There are many other reasons, but this was the main one for me. I needed all the help I could get as I was again, so very broken when I came into recovery. We all are. I can tell you this. . . .
God has answered all my prayers when I was begging him to just stop the addiction triggers and urges, take those away? And I will do the rest and the work to be a success in my recovery . . . .
As we all know, God has his own time clock, and most times doesn’t always match ours! LOL. It’s why many say, “in Gods time not ours.” So true, but still? He did hold up his end of the bargain. He did take away the triggers and urges from me, as I began doing the my part of the work in my recovery. He won’t ever let you down, it’s just in his time, not yours . . .
So? How is your relationship with your Higher Power?
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God Bless All,
Catherine Townsend-Lyon, Author & Recovery Advocate XO