Happy 2024! I found this study that took place in Denmark, but I think we know this happening everywhere, not just in Denmark. Parents need to be “In The Know” by reading this article courtesy of my friends of “Casino Reviews” (dotnet) and written by Author, John Olanipekun …
When asked about the reasons why they opted for unlicensed sites, 37% claimed to be attracted by the availability of unique game types, 32% believed in higher paybacks and winnings, and 26% were enticed by larger bonuses.
Danish Gambling Authority
Spillemyndigheden, the Danish Gambling Authority, has released details from its latest study, revealing that 15% of 15 to 17-year-old Danish teenagers have engaged in online gambling.
The figures were based on research conducted by Spillemyndigheden from November 24, 2022, to January 15, 2023, which sought to establish the number of Danes involved in online gambling. The survey also looked into the demographics of these gamblers, the frequency of gambling on unlicensed platforms, and the motivations behind selecting such sites.
The study surveyed 30,070 Danes aged 15 and above and received responses from 7,637 individuals.
Key Findings of the Study
The study revealed that 21.7% of the surveyed individuals engaged in online gambling over the past year, while the average expenditure on online gambling amounted to DKK 6,500., about $950 in US dollars.
Notably, 15% of minors aged between 15 and 17 were identified as participants in online gambling activities within the last year. Furthermore, 3.8% of respondents admitted to using illegal online gambling websites.
However, 8.6% of participants expressed uncertainty regarding the licensing status of the Live Casinos and gambling sites they used. Lotteries and scratch cards were the most popular form of gambling amongst the surveyed individuals at 13.4%. It is followed by sports betting at 8.7%. Online casino gambling was engaged in by 4.1%, while 0.7% participated in skins betting. 1.6% wagered on other forms.
Regarding unlicensed gambling, online casinos took the lead at 43.4%, followed by sports betting at 36%, skins betting at 34.2%, lotteries and scratch cards at 12.4%, and other types of gambling at 8.2%.
Motivations Behind Gambling Behavior
Insights into reasons for choosing licensed sites revealed that 57% valued better control and supervision, 48% cited the reliability and responsibility of the site, 45% appreciated the site being in Danish, 29% considered the site’s contribution to Danish taxes, 16% sought safeguards against problem gambling, and 9% favored better self-exclusion options.
When asked about the reasons why they opted for unlicensed sites, 37% claimed to be attracted by the availability of unique game types, 32% believed in higher paybacks and winnings, and 26% were enticed by larger bonuses.
Additionally, 23% chose unlicensed sites due to exclusion from licensed sites through the ROFUS, 21% were under 18, and 17% valued the absence of identification requirements. Lastly, 19% preferred better or different payment options.
Last December, Spillemyndigheden launched a nationwide campaign aimed at educating young people under the age of 18 about the risks associated with gambling. The motivation behind the campaign was largely fueled by the insights unveiled in the newly released report.
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I am celebrating my 16th year maintaining my recovery and journey from “Gambling Addiction” with having a Sale of my Memoir in Kindle version from Amazon! The Kindle is now only $1.99 for all of Jan and Feb. 2024. A little about my memoir,“Addicted To Dimes”…
Summary: How did a good girl go bad? A Gambling Addiction.
The book is based on a true story told in the author’s unbridled words, without polish or prose. It’s a memoir of how the author became addicted to gambling without any insights into how to recover from it.
Throughout the book, the author shares her haunting and captivating roots and underlying issues in a true tale of dark family secrets, abuse, childhood trauma, crime, and, ultimately, recovery.
By reading this book, one day at a time, one page at a time, you can learn about this remarkable and brave woman’s story of redemption.
Reflection:
Sweet Peace
“Within you is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.”
Courtesy: Marc Lefkowitz and Dr. Nathan D. L. Smith of “Kindbridge . Com)
The stress and struggles all start right about now. Thanksgiving kicks off the holiday season, and away we go. For most, it means family, friends, and festive food.
However, for people with a gambling problem and their families, it can be a precarious time of year. Turkey Day, football, college bowls, and NFL playoffs are on the menu for sports bettors. Casinos decorated for the season are waiting with perks and comps.
Relationships and families are tested due to financial stress and lying to hide the gambling. Christmas presents offer a challenge. Gamblers may chase their losses only to dig a deeper financial hole. Isolation can become the norm. These are the typical situations people with gambling problems find themselves navigating to try, and both feed their need to gamble and hide their gambling during this time of year.
For many these days, gambling is a new experience. Legal sports betting is a relatively new phenomenon sweeping the US these days, and sportsbooks and casinos are bombarding the airwaves with unbelievable deals to attract new bettors to their products. This is no surprise. Every product that enters a market and gains traction advertises its product heavily to bring new clientele in the door. The problem arises when those with a tumultuous relationship with gambling ignore what the casino or sportsbook already tells them. They don’t hide it. They’re going to win in the long run.
Usually, the first problem for people who gamble excessively is financial. Unless diligently following a budget, when these gamblers start losing, they chase after their losses. They have won in the past and believe if they just gamble long enough, their luck will turn around, and they can win it all back.
It just creates greater losses. This burden can lead to lying, missing work, relationship tension, and/or borrowing money. In the early stages, problems like this can be solved before they progress into addiction, a repetitive pattern of unhealthy behavior experienced over weeks or months. Loss of the ability to stop or control your gambling is a symptom of gambling addiction. As we all prepare for the holidays, here are some suggestions if you recognize some of these problems developing in yourself or a loved one.
HERE ARE SOME IMPORTANT WAYS TO HELPYOU NOT GAMBLE THIS HOLIDAY.
Talk it Out
Many are afraid to talk about a gambling problem. Along with problem gambling comes shame and guilt, especially when money is involved. Talk to your family, a friend, therapist, or clergy. If this hasn’t been a persistent problem, your family and friends will most likely understand and offer support. If you are still afraid to reveal your problem, or it’s more serious, try talking to a therapist or clergy. In that case, confidentiality is assured. Though it may feel overwhelming at first, talking helps.
Turn Over Your Money
If you’re afraid you can’t stop and still have available cash, find someone trusted to hold your money. This can be important this time of the year, especially with Christmas bonuses, cash gifts, and other financial windfalls associated with the season.
Gambling Blocking Software
If you’re Gambling with apps, the Internet, or on your cell phone, there is software available to block access to betting sites. Download and install the software for a sense of relief and peace of mind right away. See our Resources page for some of these App Blockers. They do help!
Stop Chasing Your Lost Money
Depending on the preferred choice of gambling, the odds are always with the house. You will likely create more debt if you try to win the money back. The more times you gamble, the higher the odds of losing. It could lead to even committing a crime.
Avoid Isolation
When invited by family, friends, or co-workers to attend parties or events, say yes. Engaging with positive people can help in avoiding cravings to gamble. Accountability with friends or other trusted contacts is another bonus of avoiding isolation.
Throw Away the Mailers
Throw away any and all casino mailers or delete the gambling emails/texts as soon as you get them. If they’re giving you something for free, it means you’re probably losing multiples of the value of the gift. Unsubscribe from emails, delete the applications on your phone, and ask to be taken off promotional lists.
Plan Alternate Holiday Activities
On days when you usually gamble, plan alternative activities. For example, if you like betting on pro football on Sundays, instead plan family outings such as taking a hike, seeing a movie, or even playing in the snow in the mountains. Any activity that breaks your unhealthy patterns is a benefit.
Take a Break From Gambling
If you can, take a break from gambling during the holidays. It can be a relief from the normal chaos of this time of year. If you are unable to stop, it might be an indicator of a more serious problem. If you can’t take a voluntary break of 30 days on your own, it may be time to seek professional help. You can help by visiting “The National Council on Problem Gambling”> https://www.ncpgambling.org/ or call at: 1-800-GAMBLER
The National Council on Problem Gambling operates the National Problem Gambling Helpline Network. The network is a single national access point to local resources for those seeking help for a gambling problem. The network consists of 28 contact centers that provide resources and referrals for all 50 states and US territories. Help is available 24/7 and is 100% confidential.
The National Problem Gambling Helpline Network also includes text and chat services. These features enable those who are gambling online or on their mobile phone to access help the same way they play. One call, text, or chat will get you to problem gambling help anywhere in the U.S. 24/7/365. Again, it is private, and there is NO SHAME in reaching out for help.
Lastly, Seek Professional Help
There are many licensed therapists and certified counselors well-trained in treating persons with a gambling problem and their loved ones. Accountability coaches and trained counselors can help you faster than you think. Join peer support groups, try group therapy focused on reducing gambling-related harms, or talk to a therapist trained to help you navigate a successful recovery program. There are more resources available today to help people struggling with gambling disorders than ever before.
I hope these tips and advice will help you or those supporting a loved one to have a blessed holiday season without any pressure to gamble. I know firsthand how they felt through MANY past holidays when I was still deep within my addicted gambling days. I can still remember those years of wanting to shop for Christmas presents for my family and having no money because I gambled it all away.
When I think about it now, it still makes my stomach turn. It is why I am grateful I reached out for help 16+ years ago to gain my life back from this destructive disease and addiction. Yes, I still recall the many negatives back then, but we need to always remember where we came from in order to be grateful for how far we have come in our recovery journey.
So, I wish you all a very happy holiday season with your loved ones and family. To learn more about my journey from addiction to gambling by purchasing my book from Amazon as a holiday gift! It shares my memoirs of How and Why I became a gambling addict. Most times, there are underlying issues as to why we use gambling as an escape…
My name is Deborah Perdue, and it’s my heart’s calling to share and spread gratitude in the world. Many thanks to my loyal gratitude tribe too. If you are not already signed up, you can receive Daily Gratitude Reflections Mon-Fri by emailing me at dperdue@graceofgratitude.com …
“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”~John F. Kennedy Jr.
Happy October!
Living in gratitude is key to a life filled with peace, joy, and plenty. Focusing on what we love always yields the best results, rather than focusing on what’s wrong. I know from personal experience how potent it is to live in gratitude.
Although I’m not there 24/7, I reside in thankfulness a lot. Since 2012, when I first started a Gratitude Journal, my life has transformed in miraculous ways. The benefits of having a gratitude practice daily are proven and numerous: better physical and emotional health, better sleep, improved self-esteem, and a happier outlook on life in general, to name just a few.
It is documented scientifically that being consciously grateful helps with all of this and more. In fact, psychologists and psychiatrists often suggest to their depressed clients that they start a gratitude journal.
OCTOBER IDEAS TO ENHANCE YOUR LIFE WITH MORE GRATITUDE
• Read books on gratitude…
Here are some great ones I recommend, and there are many more: The Little Book of Gratitude by Dr. Robert A. Emmons Ph.D.; Gratitude: A Way of Life by Louise Hay; Moonlight Gratitude, by Emily Silva; Daily Gratitude Reflections, Vol. 2 by Deborah Perdue.
Beginners: start out by listing 5 things you are grateful for every day. Do this for 40 days and your life will improve dramatically. Then, keep going after the 40 days so it becomes a beneficial habit. If you already write in a journal, consider writing paragraphs about each thing, rather than making a short list.
• Make an altar, and have a special box to put things you are grateful for every day.
Keep putting in notes of gratitude. At the end of a month or a year, take them all out and savor and appreciate each note.
• Create and decorate Gratitude Reminders for yourself, or indulge in shopping
If you are creative, make a wooden sign or decorate a coffee mug or tea cup with sweet reminders of gratitude. If you can afford them, have fun buying some decorations for your house that have thoughts of Thanksgiving.
• An extra-fun idea – leave mini altars everywhere with notes of gratitude
I was lucky to travel to magical Bali many years back. On-street corners and all kinds of places, there were special altars to Hindu gods and goddesses. Consider making Gratitude Altars (maybe decorated boxes with a note inside for someone to express your gratitude) for others to find!
I will be sending my pocketbook “Grace of Gratitude Reflections” to 10 lucky subscribers – first come, first served… Just reply to my email: d.perdue@graceofgratitude.com to be added and entered in the contest. Include your mailing address. (U.S. Subscribers only due to Int’l shipping costs. If you are internationally based, I will send a free PDF)
ENJOY SONGS OF GRATITUDE: Karen Drucker is a Gratitude Goddess. She has written many songs of thankfulness. Look her up onYouTube. Here is just one song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YO2SaBeEf8
“You are loved just for being who you are, just for existing. You don’t have to do anything to earn it. Your shortcomings, your lack of self-esteem, physical perfection, or social and economic success – none of that matters. No one can take this love away from you, and it will always be here.” ~Ram Dass
Oh, to remember this every second of my life! I am eternally grateful for every minute that I DO know and realize the truth of the inherent love that is the truth of life, of me, of every single bit of life.Let me love without measure. And let me love myself as much as those I adore. Let me love, love and then love some more. Thank you.
SPECIAL GUEST ARTICLE By The Fine Friends of ALGAMUS Treatment Center.
Gambling is on the rise among teenagers, and between 60 percent and 80 percent of high school students report having gambled for money in the past year, according to the National Council on Problem Gambling. Of this percentage, 4-6% are considered to be problem gamblers.
Gambling is something that needs to be taken seriously, as it can be extremely damaging, especially for young people.
Dangers Associated with Teen Gambling
Teens today are living in a society where gambling is not only socially acceptable, it is widely promoted and accessible. Gambling is portrayed in the media as being a glamorous activity that can make you lots of money, and make you look cool among your group of friends. However, gambling can lead to serious consequences, including relationship problems, academic problems, financial problems, and more.
Increased Risk of Developing a Gambling Problem
Teens are two to four times more susceptible to developing a gambling problem than adults. Teenagers are more likely to develop gambling addictions because the parts of their brains needed for making good, reasonable decisions have not yet been fully developed. Therefore, they are more impulsive and less inhibited. This makes them prone to making poor decisions, which can mean spending more money than they should and making riskier bets.
Children introduced to gambling by age 12 are 4 times more likely to develop a gambling problem later in life. Gambling can be addictive and lead to a lot of problems, including financial instability, relational strife, and mental health disorders. Ultimately, if gambling becomes a problem, it can completely derail a person’s life.
Mental Health Issues
There also seems to be a link between gambling and mental health problems in young people. It can lead to low self-esteem issues, stress, anxiety, and depression.
If a teen already has a present mental health disorder, they are more prone to developing a gambling addiction, since they may look to gambling as a way to ease their symptoms of anxiety or depression. Gambling can also cause financial stress and problems at work or school, which in turn can further the decline of mental health.
Gambling Can Be a Gateway Drug No Substances Required
Engaging in the risky behavior of gambling can lead teens to want to try substances that will also give them a rush of adrenaline. Teens can easily get hooked on the adrenaline rush that gambling and substances give them, and it can quickly spiral out of control.
How Gambling Affects the Teenage Brain
Teens are notorious for experimentation, and gambling is no exception. However, gambling can have a serious impact on the teenage brain, causing problems with focus, impulse control, and decision-making.
Gambling actually affects the brain’s reward system in the same way that drugs do and causes a “high” when they make a risky bet. When you gamble, your brain releases dopamine, the feel-good neurotransmitter that makes you feel excited.
Although you think you would only feel this rush when you win money, it comes from the mere action of placing a bet. This means that, even if a person loses over and over again and gambling is no longer fun, they can still get hooked on the act of gambling.
Why Do Teens Gamble?
Teens gamble for a variety of reasons, but no one starts gambling thinking that they will develop a problem. Some of the more popular forms of gambling teens bet on include sports betting, poker, and scratch-off lottery tickets.
Gambling to Fill an Emotional Void
Adolescents with gambling problems reported more negative life experiences as a whole and more major negative life events than social gamblers or non-gamblers. They turn to gambling to gain an instant sense of satisfaction, and this can quickly become addicting.
Teens might also gamble as a way to avoid difficult emotions such as loneliness or feeling like they don’t fit into society. When they are winning, it can increase their self-esteem and temporarily make them feel like they are on top of the world.
Gambling as a Social Activity
Gambling often starts as an innocent game between friends – many wouldn’t even consider placing bets to be gambling. However, it can quickly spiral out of control, and cause teens to lose a large amount of money in a short amount of time. Losing money from gambling can cause them to feel as though they must win the money back, which only fuels the gambling problem further, and makes it harder to quit.
Teens may also start gambling due to peer pressure. If all their friends are doing it, they don’t want to feel excluded or like the odd person out.
Gambling for a Thrill
Teens can be impulsive and are looking for an adrenaline rush, and gambling gives that to them. They also see gambling as an easy way to make money.
Identifying a Gambling Problem in Your Teenage Child
Money Lost or Stolen
Teenagers may not be able to see the signs that they are getting too close to losing money. This can happen when your teenager is gambling with friends, or on online games like poker or casino. Gambling can quickly spiral out of control and become a life-threatening problem.
For example, if your teen spends time gambling with friends, and suddenly their savings account is majorly depleted, this could be a sign of a gambling problem. Or if they often ask to borrow money from you and then don’t repay it, this could also be a sign.
Constantly Playing Games
Teens are impressionable and are likely to become hooked on gambling if they start playing games early on. This not only applies to traditional forms of gambling (casino games, lottery tickets, poker) but to new, less obvious forms like video games and fantasy sports. For example, an obsession with sports scores could be an indication of a sports betting addiction.
Changes in Behavior
Look out for behavioral changes in your teen. Warning signs include a loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy, seeming irritable or worried, or changes in sleeping and eating patterns. If you notice that your child is suddenly skipping classes, getting low grades, or having other troubles at school, this can also be a sign that there is a problem.
How to Keep Your Child Safe From Gambling
1. Educate Them About the Risks
With gambling becoming increasingly accessible, kids are exposed to gambling at a very young age. It’s important to be proactive in order to help protect your child from gambling. Just as you would educate your child about drug and alcohol addiction, also educate them on the risks of gambling.
Gambling is not inherently bad, but it needs to be done in a responsible way, which includes having set spending limits and time limits. This way, they can make informed decisions and stay safe from gambling addiction.
2. Monitor Their Gaming Habits
Gambling ads are everywhere – on sports games, social media, and other websites. Kids can also get introduced to gambling through video games, particularly those that involve loot boxes, which are in-game purchases that can progress the player in the game.
If you find any evidence that your child is gambling – for example, they are spending money on betting sites or video games – talk to them about quitting gambling altogether.
There are also helpful online tools available, such as GamBan, which allows you to block access to betting sites and apps, which can help protect your child from gambling.
3. Lead By Example
Examine your own gambling habits. Could you be setting a poor example for your child by betting on sports games or frequently purchasing lottery tickets? By understanding the risks of gambling yourself, you can evaluate your own habits, and learn to gamble responsibly in order to set a good example for your child.
4. No Shame In Seeking Professional Help
If you discover that your child is gambling, and their spending is getting out of control, you may need to seek professional help. Gambling can have serious long-term consequences for your child, and if left untreated, it could lead to addiction or other mental health issues in the future. Now that you understand the risks of teen gambling, you can take steps to help your child avoid these risks.
If you suspect your Teen or College age children are gambling, speak to our gambling addiction treatment experts here at Algamus for advice on how to deal with this issue. We thank Bet Free Recovery Now for having us share our resources and what we do for others from problem gambling!
Get In Touch
Are you or someone you love struggling with a gambling addiction or compulsive behavior?
At Algamus, we provide support and resources that help our clients start a journey free from gambling. Our program covers a variety of treatment plans, as well as an individualized after-care plan.
Stop and fill out the contact form https://www.algamus.org/contact-us and we will contact you as soon as possible to discuss your needs.
Since I have maintained long-term recovery from addicted gambling, the stigma and myths around this addiction continue to grow instead of diminishing. When advocating or speaking, I share that there is no shame in reaching out for help from this destructive disease at the end of my speech.
Yes, gambling addiction is a disease. Once you have lost control over your gambling, you have crossed the line into a full-blown addiction. We all know many things can be addictive, and we use them with no control, like food, coffee, sugar, gambling, drugs, and alcohol, but those are called the “preferences” we may choose to overuse and have no control over how much we use them.
Gambling is the same. That is what I was using, “gambling,” as a coping skill and escape then the slow progression of the disease of addiction began to happen. So I wanted to share my top 5 misconceptions and myths about gambling, problem gambling, and addicted gambling in hopes of debunking them through my experiences. These are the five most asked when mentoring others or speaking at events sharing my recovery from addicted gambling.
– Myth: Gambling addiction only affects the weak-willed or uneducated:
I have heard almost all the myths and misconceptions about problem gambling and full gambling addiction. Through my experiences and years of advocacy work, mentoring, and sponsoring those in early recovery, addicted gambling can and will “touch” all walks of life in any capacity. It affects young and old, rich or poor, highly educated or not, and different working careers.
When I attended Gamblers Anonymous in my early recovery years, I met and supported many recovering gamblers, firefighters, lawyers, doctors, teachers, moms, dads, grandparents, seniors, teens, young adults, and myself, working in the banking industry for 21 + years. It can happen can and touch anyone.
There are a few precursors for some people to possible gambling problems like being raised in a family of problem gamblers, working in the gambling industry, and being around gambling all the time, or a person with untreated mental health issues all can be perfect candidates to have problems in life with gambling later.
– Myth: You can’t become addicted to something like gambling
Sadly, this myth is untrue. Too much of anything in excess opens the door to being addicted to it, like coffee or sugar. Gambling can be addictive as it is a stimulant in the brain to our pleasure and reward system. My gambling began slowly as a problem gambler. Spending too much time and money sometimes, but within a year or two, it became a full-blown addiction.
Generally, others typically can gamble for a few hours of fun and entertainment. Still, I became a gambling addict for various reasons. I learned within treatment and therapy that I was using gambling as a coping skill and an escape from haunting childhood sexual trauma, pain, and abuse.
It is a fact that onein five problem gamblers may try suicide. I know this fact to be true because I had two failed suicide attempts before I entered gambling treatment after spending 30 days in a crisis center twice. My friends at The North American Foundation for Gambling Addiction Help share that approximately 2.6% of the U.S. population has some gambling problems when they gamble often.
– Myth: People with gambling problems are easy to identify:
The fact is, most people can not spot a person who has a problem gambling.
There are no outward appearances as an alcoholic or drug abuser; their external actions show. Not so with addicted gambling. It is an addiction that requires no substance. It still is considered a “silent and hidden addiction.” However, I began to have problems with mood swings and obsessive behaviors. Those were the first signs my husband knew there was a problem.
I hid gambling from my spouse for several years, but my moods, attitude, and behaviors gradually became more extreme. I would be angry or argue with him if I had a bad day of gambling and lost money. I began having more anxiety and mild mania, which my husband noticed because I wanted to go back and gamble to win the money back! I was chasing my losses. Then I began hiding away household money my spouse didn’t know about to gamble with. I started to get late notices for unpaid bills in the mail. I knew then I had a gambling problem. I had become sucked into “the cycle” of addiction.
– Myth: Gambling is only a problem when you lose every time.
When you have lost control of your gambling, you will lose money most of the time. It is called odds. The more you gamble, the odds of losing will go up.
Once you are within “the cycle” of gambling addiction,’ the disease has you chasing your losses when you lose or if you win? You start thinking you will win all the time!
And if you do win?
You will keep gambling until every penny is gone.
I had done this for many years, deep within my gambling addiction.
There can be some chemical, emotional and physical components to this myth. When I gambled, I could feel when my body would release dopamine which would keep me gambling more often and for more extended periods, and I would do so until the last penny was gone.
When I finally began treatment, I learned I was suffering from undiagnosed mental health disorders I did not know about. The mania came directly from gambling compulsively & obsessively for so long that it aided in my poor choices and thinking. Gambling is gambling regardless of whether you win or lose and can be just from a flip of a coin.
– Myth: Problem gambling isn’t a problem if the gambler can afford it:
No one can truly afford to gamble if they are a problem or addicted gambler!
I have learned this the hard way. This addiction is not about having the money to gamble or if you think you can afford to risk that amount of money. It is purely about the disease and the cycle of this addiction, especially when you cross the line into uncontrolled gambling.
Believe me, if you continue to gamble and it becomes a full-blown addiction, the money will run out sooner or later. A perfect example of this fact, on October 1, 2017, in Las Vegas, Nevada, a shooting happened while a concert was going on, and the shooter began to fire rifle rounds from his 32nd-floor room at concertgoers. The shooter stayed at the famous hotel while attending a video poker tournament.
We learned a few months later the shooter had lost a massive amount of money. Even though a family member told the news media that his brother was wealthy and could afford to gamble as much as he did, media news later reported he had big financial problems from the years of his compulsive gambling habit.
For those like myself who couldn’t afford to gamble as much as I was, it financially devastated my spouse and me. The more money I risked through compulsive gambling, the less we would have for retirement and our future.
I can tell you I have learned much wisdom and life lessons from that addiction and detour in my life. It is why I advocate today within honesty and transparency. There is NO SHAME in seeking help for this cunning and devastating addiction. If I can maintain recovery over 15+ years, I know anyone can!
Join me for a life-altering 2-Day coaching intensive, where we embark on a transformative journey designed to empower and elevate your life. Together, we will meet anywhere on Earth with WiFi, creating an immersive and personalized experience that combines coaching, exploration, adventure, delicious food, fun, and self-discovery in a unique and unforgettable way.
THESE TWO DAYS ARE DEDICATED TO YOU!
This image was taken while on a retreat in Tulum, Mexico.
You will be Seen, Heard and Celebrated: It’s all too rare these days that we get the tailored approach to growth and personal development. We can be lost in the pack or feel like we are on our own…
That’s where I come in, I will be there to guide you through this adventure of a lifetime! With this experience we will explore a beautiful destination and also…
I am very excited to welcome my friend Kaden James who I have known and networked with for several years now. Kaden is a fantastic lifestyle coach, speaker, podcaster and so much more. Actually, he kind of has his HAT in many different entrepreneurial realms. He is a fellow author and writer as I am, but most importantly, his life and business coaching has helped me tremendously while I move forward in my recovery journey and lifestyle.
When I visited his website a few days ago, I came across this Special Article I asked him if I could share. Because it touches many topics and areas we all face while maintaining recovery. It taps into some areas to ponder about our past and gives readers a more positive and refreshing way of looking at the many outside influences that can make our journey a little difficult and overcome some of the inner self and unprocessed pain, trauma, abusiveness, or even a shitty childhood.
So, I hope when you read the article something may resonate or help you as it did me. I encourage you to check out the links at the close of his article to his books on Amazon, connect with him on social media, and give his website a visit and see just how he may able to help you!
But, first, who is my buddy, Kaden James. Let’s find out. . .
About Kaden James
Kaden is a bestselling author, writer, and business consultant. He is the founder and owner of Fulfilled Foods, and Spirlit Coaching. “I help companies and individuals become greater forces for good.”
With several published books to his credit that include; “The Daily Playbook” “Coach Yourself” and “REFLEKT,” all available on Amazon online. Kaden always had a zest for life. After having a difficult childhood he studied the most highly successful people he came across and applied their methods and helped others reach their dreams. Through his learning, he came to understand that real success is feeling good about who you are and what you do. Born in California, Kaden was moved to a small town in Idaho at the age of ten, he came from humble beginnings, was focused, and grounded at a young age. He made his way to Los Angeles after graduating early to pursue his dreams.
As the author says, “It’s not about where you come from, what you have, or what you have done, life is about who you become.”
When arriving in Los Angeles, Kaden became a rising star as a singer-songwriter. Frequently featured on MTV, he recorded music for MTV’s ‘The Real World,’ while writing and performing the theme song to both ‘The A-List: New York and Dallas.’ He enjoyed the music ride but was maturing in a new direction and had more he wanted to share.
Since fitness and living a clean, healthy lifestyle are some of his passions, in 2017, he began studying with “Robbins-Madanes Training,” (the official Coach Training School of Anthony Robbins). He became certified as a life & wellness coach with Expert Rating. He began writing unique self-help motivational books and started his life coaching business. With the gained wisdom and the thirst to help others, his coaching business took off. He continues to be an Instagram Star and influencer as he shares his coaching tips for all, and advice through poetic thoughts and inspiring words to reflect on.
When the author is not writing or coaching clients, he enjoys spending time outdoors, hiking, working out, cooking, and reading. His favorite authors are Gary Zukav, Brené Brown, and Marianne Williamson, to name a few. Keep an eye on this author as his “Star is still Rising and Shining Bright.” Kaden resides San Deigo, CA.
The Past No Longer Exists, It’s Just A Thought
Today I’m so happy to be back home. I’ve been doing a lot of traveling lately and it’s just been a whirlwind of a year. I’ve literally flown so much overseas, more so than I ever have in my entire life. I’ve visited so many cool places from Italy, to France to Germany, to Dubai, and I just recently went to DC.
I planned a trip with my parents. It was a Christmas gift and it’s been so beautiful to be able to give gifts like that, like experiences. So, I sent my parents on this treasure hunt basically at Christmas. Where there are all these little notes all over the house, including one in the washing machine. It took a while to find that one, but it was really meaningful, and it ended with this cabinet that my grandfather made out of wood and it’s one of my mom’s most prized possessions and that was where the final clue was. There is a picture of my grandparents that led them to look inside that cabinet and they opened up a file that showed the Cherry Blossom Festival that was going on in DC a few years ago and then they found their hotel stay for this big trip.
And the second part of the surprise is my dad didn’t know that I was going to join my parents in DC to go and see all these amazing places. My dad and mom were eating at a restaurant at the hotel we were staying at and we just walked out to them and surprised them. And it was one of those things we’ll never forget. Another really cool thing about DC is all of the museums are free. So you can go to the Natural History Museum. You can go to the zoo. You can go to the Air and Space Museum, which I really loved and my dad really loved too. And you get to go to all these national monuments from the Washington Memorial to the Lincoln Memorial.
And I arranged with my congressman to have really good tours for all of us when we got there. So we got to see the White House. We got to go on a private tour of the capital. It was really, really out of this world. So, I want to talk about the past, and, specifically, the fact that the past no longer exists. It just exists in our minds right? There’s no real past going on. We just have the present moment. The past is just memories. It’s things we remember and things that we bring into the present moment that affect what’s going on in your life today.
The interesting thing about this is I was just with my parents, and my parents are a huge part of my past and for most people listening, that’s going to be you too, right? Our parents raised us with their beliefs, with their rules, with their ways of looking at the world, and not to get into politics, but my parents have different views than I do. Their views stem from their past, their background, how they were raised, their beliefs, the people they’re friends with, you know. So, our beliefs are shaped by our environment as well, but we choose them and we can choose which beliefs serve us, and we can choose to let go of the ones that don’t.
For a lot of people, especially people who are not really aware of this, they look to their past and they will find pieces of their past fragments if you will, and they will blame their current situation on that past. But we are adults, and we choose the baggage we take with us. It might not feel like it’s a choice, and we might not be consciously aware of it, but when we become conscious of it, we have power. Because we can choose not to think about that situation that happened or not to dwell on a time when we got it wrong and feel shame and guilt about it. We can let it go. We can let anything go and we don’t have to take those fragments from the past and cut ourselves over and over again on those shards from our past.
Every time we talk about a situation that wasn’t desirable, or a time when we got it wrong, or when someone cheated on us or someone betrayed us or someone abused us in some way. And I’m not saying like if it just happened a week ago, or two weeks ago, or a month ago, or even three months ago. I’m saying if this was years and years ago, if we bring it into the present moment, we relive it. To some degree, we are reliving it every time we tell that story, every time we dwell on it, every time we think on it, and every thought that we have is having an effect on us. So when we have a thought, it can cause us to feel a certain way, and then that feeling can cause us to behave a certain way. And if you notice really moody people, right, it’s because they have these negative thoughts in their heads become a loop, and then they feel a certain way and then they kind of treat people not so great because they’re kind of “moody”.
If we stop thinking about the things that happened in our past that weren’t ideal. Then we no longer bring it into the present moment. When we can wipe those thoughts from our head or replace those thoughts with a better narrative, something that feels empowering. And I know that this is probably sounding really simplistic. I know that this takes work, and I’ve done it. I’ve done this work. So I don’t want anyone to think that this is just like, “oh, just think a different thought. Like it’s so easy”. No, I’m not saying that it will take time. It takes repetition. It takes creating a habit, a new belief. But if you’ve had really challenging things in your past, then that means you’re very strong. It means you’re resilient. It means you’re a survivor And not only a survivor, you’re a thriver.
So do you see how just shifting that, from victim to victorious? Sometimes that’s a big jump to make, but we can. We can move ourselves closer and closer to that victorious feeling. So we could go from a victim to feeling really good about the fact that we survived that, and not only did we survive it, we learned a lot from it. And not only did we learn a lot, we became kind of an expert in that area of life. And we can help a lot of people with that, see how it’s moving us closer to feeling good about whatever happened in the past. Even if it wasn’t desirable. Because when we can take something really negative and use it to fuel ourselves and to help light other people up and help them find their way through this life, we get to feel good about it and we get to be a source of inspiration.
The most inspiring people to me, are the people who have gone through the most. I get so inspired when I hear a story of somebody who really struggled and then kicked a**. I was just watching something on Netflix where a woman lost her leg in a car accident and then she started doing these marathons that were six times longer than a normal marathon. And I just thought, this is incredible and she was doing it through the desert. She was just showing how far she could push herself and it was really inspiring to see, and no, I will not be running any crazy marathons! Like, that’s really not my thing but I really appreciate people who do.
Something I find really interesting too about the parent-child dynamic is, our parents often think our childhood was one way and we think it was a different way. But they’re literally just thoughts. So their collection of thoughts is different than my collection of thoughts. It doesn’t make their collection wrong, it doesn’t make mine wrong. But there are probably some that you know are a little sugar-coated or embellished and pushed a certain direction. For whatever reason, our minds just tend to do that.
But if you’ve ever even been in a relationship too, and you thought the relationship was going really well, and then all of a sudden, like, the person gets upset with you about something and then has evidence that, like, something they don’t like about you, right? It could be, “oh, you’re really messy”. And you’re like, “I’m not messy at all. I’m super clean, like you’re the messy one”. But then they’re like, “no, you left your dishes out that one day and you had your laundry on the floor and I had to, like, put it in the hamper”. Or, you know, they have all this evidence. You’re like, wow, they see me totally different, than I see myself. Interesting. And you can just take that in and you can learn from it and you can take in that feedback and work on yourself if you want to. But it’s just interesting to see that everybody has their own perception and perspective.
If you have siblings or you do this with your coworkers and you just ask them about their experience with the same environment and see what their experience is and how it differs from your own. Because we all pick up on different things. And our brains are super powerful, they can be used to find the negative in just about any situation like you could think about anyone or any situation and you could find the negative. Our brains are so good at spotting the negative and it’s kind of the default. It’s really easy for our brains to pick out what we don’t like about things. Like we’ll eat a sandwich and we’ll be like, oh, I didn’t like the pickle inside it or I didn’t like this, or I didn’t like that or the bread was too hard. Maybe everything else was wonderful inside that sandwich, but we just picked out the negative.
And it’s the same when we get feedback online, right? We could get a lot of really positive comments, but we’ll remember the negative a lot of times. The negative just has this power because our brains are looking for what’s wrong, oftentimes. But we can train the mind to look for what’s right. You know, when you get a thought in your head that is negative, maybe you don’t like your car. You can replace that thought with three positive things. I love that my car gets me where I need to go. I really like the color of my car. You know, my car smells really good because I just put a really good air freshener in it. So you can think of positive things to replace the negative thing with. But I really love my car actually. I just got it and it’s just so nice. I’m very thankful for it, but I’m just using this as an example. You know, it could be your house. It could be, you know, somebody you deal with at work. Maybe you can only see the negative in somebody, like a co-worker.
Start picking out the positive in that person because you’re going to start to train your brain to see what’s good, what’s right. And you’re going to see more opportunities and you’re going to have a higher vibration. People will react to you differently when you do this. I’m telling you, it’s like magic and you’re thinking positive thoughts about a person. There’s just an energy to that. They feel better in your presence and feel less judged. And it’s like, we all have body language. So if you’re thinking a negative thought, it’s very hard to cover that up with your body language. So if you’re thinking it… it’s showing. It could come out in your tone of voice, could come out in your eye contact. We don’t want that. We want to be positive. We want to really be loving. Because when we put love out there, that’s what we’re going to receive.
And what’s interesting about our bodies and the research that has come out through Joe Dispenza and a lot of other great researchers out there. They have shown that our minds are so powerful that they influence our body and our bodies don’t know the difference between thoughts and experience. So if we are thinking or visualizing something, our bodies are reacting. A good way of knowing this is to think about if you’ve ever seen a really scary movie. Your body tends to you jumped when things jumped out at you, Your palms were sweating, you know, you might have even been shaking a little bit, or your eyes were really wide. Your body was reacting to what it was thinking because you weren’t actually in that situation. You weren’t in danger and logically, you knew that it was on the screen and not in real life, but it was still affecting your body because you were thinking about it.
So our thoughts are affecting our bodies. So we want to think thoughts that will affect them positively. So if we do the opposite, we visualize our success and we visualize ourselves as confident and having all the things we want, we’re going to put on that energy. And then throughout our day, we’ll carry some of that energy throughout the day and it can be very powerful. When I first met one of my close friends, she was telling me about her husband cheating on her and she was saying it was so much emotion; I had literally just met her, so I didn’t know anything about the story. She was telling the story and she was tearing up and she just was feeling it so heavily. And I was consoling her and talking her through it. And at the end of the conversation, another one of her close friends came up and I was like, “oh it’s so horrible that she was cheated on.”
And he was like, that happened seven years ago. And I was just blown away because she was telling the story as though it had just happened. And he proceeded to tell me that when it happened, her body kind of shut down. She had to go to the hospital. She felt it so deeply that she actually physically shut down. And she was continuing to tell the story with so much emotion that you could feel it. I could feel it in my body and everything. And then when I found out it was seven years ago, I was like, what?
So it isn’t just like, “oh, like thoughts don’t matter that much” or “I don’t have to really monitor my thoughts”. No, you have to monitor your thoughts like your life depends on it because in certain cases it does. And if you want to have an abundant, amazing life, you have to change your thoughts. Now, I didn’t know this for the longest time. I didn’t know how important our thoughts are, but they literally create everything in our experience.
I’m going to go through this again- Our thoughts create our emotions, which influence our behaviors, which get us our results. And then the cycle continues. So if you have negative thoughts, and those negative thoughts give you horrible emotions, emotions that you really don’t want to have, and then you take actions from those negative emotions. Let’s say, like you’re really insecure, you’re nervous, you’re paranoid, all those types of things. You take poor actions. Maybe it’s at work, or maybe it’s in your relationship. Imagine having that fear and that anxiety and that worry, and then you take action.
You’re gonna repel people away from you, so you get those results, and then you maybe think that people just don’t like me, or I’m not good enough, or I’m not talented enough, or I’m not smart enough, or I’m not whatever enough. Or there’s something wrong with me. Imagine how that thought can change your entire life if you believe that something is wrong with you, like, inherently wrong with you. Like, I’m not talking just an imperfection. I’m talking like you deeply believe that you’re not good enough, you’re not worthy. If you believe that and you start to feel that emotion that leads to depression, that leads to deep uncertainty, that leads to a lot of pain, and a lot of sadness. And I’m telling you, I know this from personal experience. I have been there. It is really an awful feeling. But how amazing is it that we can change our thoughts and thus change how we feel, change how we act, how we show up in the world, and the results we get.
So just by having a good thought, the best thought you can possibly have. In many different areas of your life, it’s going to change everything dramatically. There was a time when I didn’t think so highly about myself, and that just got me terrible results, right? But then I started to think better thoughts about myself. I started to believe that I was worthy. I started to believe that I was good enough. I told myself I was enough. I love myself. I gave myself self-love, which I think is the cornerstone of a healthy, happy life.
You gotta get that muscle strong because once you do that then you’re gonna have more confidence and you’re gonna feel better. So put on some music that makes you feel powerful, work out, or move your body in ways that feel strong to you. Love yourself more. Treat yourself like a great friend. Practice being a good friend to yourself and as you do that, everything will start to change and you just keep repeating the pattern by picking even better thoughts.
A great way to really notice this is with finances. There were many years that I was dead broke. I made nothing. Literly was just so broke, just barely getting by. For years I did this and I thought it was hard to make money. I had these thoughts that you know, money doesn’t grow on trees, money doesn’t matter. Like I don’t do this for the money. All these thoughts that really negative. And it kept me broke. To get wealthy, you have to believe you’re worth it and that you don’t have to give it all away to be a good person. That’s the core belief.
So I’ve worked really hard on this and that’s why I’ve made a lot more money. You know your relationship with money based on how much you have. Right. So if you have a really healthy relationship with money, you probably have a lot of money in your life. And if you don’t have a healthy relationship, you don’t have much money in your life. You give it all away. You sabotage yourself. You don’t save. You don’t find ways to make more money. You don’t put yourself out there. You just kind of settle for what is, right? And that’s all based on thinking as well. The reason I bring up money on this topic is because you can set a number in your head that you want to reach. If you’re a coach or an entrepreneur or somebody who has a side hustle, even an Etsy account, you could set a number that you want to reach, right? And you could believe that you’re going to reach that, like. Yeah, I could make an extra 500 bucks this month.
Sure. I believe that. And if you believe that you can achieve that, right. And you might even make 700 and then the next month you can make it a little higher and a little higher and a little higher and a little higher and you’ll notice that maybe when you used to believe that making money is difficult. You’ll now start to think, oh, making money is easy, This is such a breeze. And then you’ll start to see more of it flow into your experience because you believe it. You have better thoughts that cause you to have better ideas as well, but they also give you better emotions and you feel really good, so you take better actions and you get better results. So it’s really that simple.
So whatever thoughts that we’re telling ourselves over and over, whatever that story is, that’s what we’re going to see in our lives. So if you’re saying something like “I never picked the right men”, that will be a self-fulfilling prophecy until you catch it and break that thought pattern and start to pick better thoughts. Now I’m not telling you just lie to yourself because if this is a long-held pattern and a belief then you want to ease out of it. You could just say, “I’m really enjoying the dating process. I love having fun with different people and getting to know them. I keep seeing good qualities in all the people I go out with” and do that thing we talked about earlier where you’re picking out the good, even if you see a negative, you replace it with three good things. If you’re doing that, then you can say these things and you can mean them.
And when you’re dating, I want you to remember that for most people who want a monogamous relationship, you’re looking for one person. So you don’t need everyone to be perfect and wonderful in it to be like fireworks. You’re looking for one person, so don’t make it so hard on yourself. Have fun with this. Enjoy the process and then when that person comes in, if you’ve had a rough time, it’s going to be even more meaningful. If we’ve gone through struggles in our lives, it makes it easier to really be thankful for the good when it flows in. If you have been thirsting for a long time and it’s been a drought, when that rain comes, you are gonna dance in it. You’re gonna just be so joyous in that rain. When we can carry that appreciation and gratitude through our lives without having to go through more negative experiences, that’s really, really wonderful.
So when we think about our thoughts, a lot of times it can be kind of like the movie Groundhog Day, which is a movie with Bill Murray where he wakes up every day and it’s the same day that he’s going through and he makes different decisions that affect that day, but it’s like every day is the same and our thoughts are like that. So if we continue to have the same thoughts, which most of our thoughts are the same from day-to-day, if we keep having those same thoughts, we’re gonna get similar results. And it’s going to feel like, oh, here’s the same old, same old, and if we’re having thoughts that attack our self-esteem, we want to address those right away because those ones have the biggest impact. Sometimes we don’t even know we’re doing it.
I find that most people when they stand in front of a mirror, they realize. What their mind is actually saying about them physically and it can be brutal. So I would recommend that to anybody. Stand in front of the mirror and just see what comes up in your mind, Stick through it, and then at the end after your mind has kind of gotten quiet, look into your eyes and love on yourself say, “I love you, I see you. You are worthy of love and I’m going to treat you better.” And then hopefully you’ve taken note of all those negative insults that you threw at yourself. I want you to replace them with positive ones. I want you to say nice things to yourself.
Whenever you catch yourself saying something not so nice and this will change your self-esteem. This will change the way you vibrate out there in the world. Because honestly, some of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen in my life, you know, have wrinkles all over, have white hair, in their 80s, 90s, and beyond. But they just have that energy, a vibration of beauty. And it’s, it’s intoxicating. I mean, I’ve seen men that are in their 70s, 80’s, bald, and they just smile and they light up the room. They’re so beautiful. That is beauty.
And we can redefine what beauty means. It doesn’t have to mean you’re a 20-year-old, you know and with a lot of my clients, this is something that they come to me with. They come to me wanting to be younger. This anti-aging industry is huge and it’s OK to put your best foot forward and to dress in a way that makes you feel confident, that’s wonderful. Or to, you know, do your hair makeup in a way that makes you feel good and to take good care of your skin and yourself. But there can be a time when it’s too much when it becomes an obsession.
And to be honest, if you are living into your 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s, 100, and beyond. Wow, what a gift to be here for all these years. What a gift and you can be beautiful at any age because beauty is not about looks. It’s really what’s going on within you because I’ve met many people with beautiful exteriors, but the energy was not the behavior was not right. I think we’ve all had those encounters. I know, from living in Los Angeles, I saw it a lot. And, you know, I just think it’s really important to remember what truly matters, which is who we are, our soul. You know, and to be honest, like eve that, even talking about like, you know, beautiful versus not or good person versus not, I mean really, it’s all perception. Maybe they were doing the best they could. And that’s a thought I think often, people are doing the best they can.
I don’t know what happened to them that day. Maybe they are behaving in a way that isn’t beautiful because they are hating on themselves. Or maybe someone hurt them. We are all trying to get our needs met and we all want love. You know, it’s not my place to judge. I’m here to love. In my opinion, that is the core reason I’m here. It doesn’t get any more simple than that. And so how can we do that with our thoughts? My perception of them is just a thought. We just choose better ones. We continue to improve them. We keep working on it. And let’s think about it on an even deeper level. You know criminals who get wrongly accused and incarcerated when they’re released. They could hold on to that anger and upset for years, for the life that was stolen from them.
Or they can choose to use that painful past to see the world in an even more vibrant way, and they can appreciate their freedom even more because of what they went through. There are of course, victims in this world, and every child who goes through some trauma is a victim, but it’s our choice in going forward as we grow up to remain a victim or grow through it and become victorious over it. Then we can help others who are current victims because we have left that pain in the past. This is not to say that we don’t feel what we’re feeling or give ourselves time to grieve a loss or heal a wound. I’m just talking about the times when we tell that old story like it’s still here with us.
Now I want to give you a tool that you can take with you, and it’s something I came up with when I was thinking about this podcast. And it’s called “Lawyer for Your Life”. Now, I want you to have fun with this, but I want you to argue that you had a horrible childhood, prosecution. So you’re going to prosecute everyone who made your childhood horrible, even if it’s not true. So just think that you are, you know, a lawyer and you just have to fight this case. Then after you’ve done that, I want you to argue that you had a wonderful life and an amazing childhood, defense. You’re going to defend every situation that was harmful to you, everything that you just listed as the prosecution. I want you to defend your case that you had this amazing life. All the things that you learned, all the things that you gained, the person you are today because you went through all of that. Build that strong defense, that’s a strong case.
So Who Will Win? You get to decide because you are the judge.
This can go with your relationships, with your work, with anything. You can put a case together about why this isn’t the right person, or this isn’t the right work, or you can put a case together–why it is what it is, given you, what you’ve learned from it, or even a breakup. You can go back and do a postmortem on a breakup. You can think of all the things that you gained from it, and you know, like ease off all the negative that you’ve probably thought about a lot of times. When you think about that ex or you think about that relationship. Think about all the things you gained from it. Think about what’s right about it.
And I’m going to give you one last tool because you all are so awesome and I just love this work so much.
So, the other day I was talking to a guy who had just turned 21. He was telling me about his birthday party. He went to a club with his friends and they were drinking and partying, and it was getting kind of late but he was still having so much fun and at one point some people from the club came up to him and they were escorting him through the club and he was like, “oh, I’m going to like a VIP room”. That’s going to be so cool and then he was like, “wait… why is this so cold?” They had kicked him out of the club. So we talked for a little bit and I told him about reframing and he was like, “okay, now I just got escorted out of the club. After a wonderful night partying with my friends until 1:30AM and I had the best birthday.” And he has a great story, a funny story to share for the rest of his life which is awesome.
So it just shows the power of reframing, right? You could say you got kicked out and feel really bad about it, or you could be like I got escorted out afterward. So, I got in my Uber and you know, got home and had a horrible hangover the next day -which was awesome because I earned it. So it just shows how you can reframe anything. Anything. Even something just funny and silly and simple, just have fun with it. Reframe something. Pick something in your life that wasn’t fun and reframe it in a way that makes it lighthearted fun or something that is just way more positive.
And some final things you can think about are what do you want to feel about your past? What do you want the thought of a past relationship to bring up for you? What do you want to think about your parents? What do you want to think about someone who hurt you?
When I heard Eckhart Tolle say “If her past were your past? Her pain. Your pain. Her level of consciousness. Your level of consciousness. You would think and act exactly as she does.” That quote was really transformative for me. I’m going to read it a different way just for the sake of taking it in. “If their past were your past. Their pain, Your pain. Their level of consciousness. Your level of consciousness. You would think and act exactly as they do.” My mind was blown when I heard that quote because I realized it could be applied to everyone. Everyone who had ever been in my life. Everyone who had ever hurt me. “If their past were your past and if their pain were your pain. If their level of consciousness was your level of consciousness, you would think and act exactly as they do.”
Really take that in. And if we have this level of consciousness, to be aware and to understand a quote like that? We are very fortunate because we understand our own power and we can choose to make our lives very harmonious instead of wreaking havoc and having a lot of chaos in our lives. And if we just look at others with a lens of love and realize the things that they’ve put into their mind for all these years that’s why they’re behaving this way. We are so fortunate that we know the truth and we can choose better thoughts that will create a completely different reality for ourselves and for everybody around us.
So have fun with this. Pick thoughts that feel really good, think them over and over, write them on post-it notes then put them in places you’re going to see them. Write them in a notebook and read them to yourself and just allow yourself to feel really good.
And I want to hear about your success stories with this, so E-mail me at Kaden@kadenjames.com … or let’s connect on social media and you may DM me or reach out to me in some way because I wanna hear all about these stories. I think it’ll be a lot of fun.
So, have a great day, and remember to do the things that light you up.!
Problem Gambling Awareness Month (PGAM) is a grassroots campaign that depends on the participation of NCPG state Affiliates, organizational and individual members, state health agencies, gambling companies, recovery groups, and a wide range of healthcare organizations and providers. Groups across America hold conferences, air Public Service Announcements, provide counselor training, host health screening days, run social media campaigns, and many other activities to increase public awareness of problem gambling and the availability of prevention, treatment, and recovery services.
The 2023 PGAM theme is “Celebrating 20 Years”#PGAM2023
The goals of this national campaign are:
To increase public awareness of problem gambling and the availability of prevention, treatment & recovery services.
To encourage healthcare providers to screen clients for problem gambling.
HELP BY STATE
The National Council on Problem Gambling has developed this list as a starting point for those seeking help or information about gambling problems. Problem gambling is a rare but chronic mental disorder and is treatable. But without help, a gambling problem may get worse.
The information compiled below by NCPG is intended to be a starting point for individuals to learn more about problem gambling — it is not a complete list of information or services. We encourage you to ask questions, gather information and research the type of help most appropriate for your situation.
As an active advocate and mentor of recovery from gambling addiction for 16 years, so, please feel free to reach out to me by EMAIL at: lyonmedia@aol.com – OR CALL the Hotline Below.
National Problem Gambling Helpline 1-800-522-4700 24/7 and 7 Days a Week…
From My Friends of “The National Council on Problem Gambling”…
“TODAY, Sunday, more than 50 million across the country plan to place a sports wager on Super Bowl LVII– a 61% increase from 2022.
If you choose to place a bet, make a plan, set a budget, set a time limit & play #responsibly!“
One In Every Five Problem Gamblers May Try Suicide From The Financial Hardships That Comes From Being Addicted to Uncontrollable Gambling”. . .
Advocate, Catherine Lyon
******** ********* *********
Important update from my friends at “Stop Predatory Gambling”…
Director’s Note — Winter 2023
I’m writing this note at one of the most extraordinary moments in the history of our fight to protect the 40 million Americans suffering harm because of the greed of big gambling operators. In early November, California voters overwhelmingly rejected two ballot questions that would have allowed online gambling and sports gambling across the state. They resoundingly voted No in the face of more than $600 million in campaign spending of self-interested gambling operators – demolishing the most expensive lobbying campaign in US history.
And then just two weeks later, in a front page, above-the-fold series, The New York Times published the most detailed, thorough, and revealing investigation into the commercialized gambling industry by any national media outlet in at least fifteen years. If you didn’t read the series yet, you can find the stories here: Story #1, Story #2, Story #3, and Story #4.
The Times investigation shined a powerful light upon the corrupt and deceitful lobbying campaign to push sports gambling and online gambling across the US. Predatory gambling is America’s most-neglected major problem, which is why this Times investigation is even more significant.
We are trying hard to seize this historic moment. We’ve added several accomplished and passionate national board members. We added three talented and committed staff members but urgently need several others. We’ve attracted even more national press for our work: in recent weeks we’ve been quoted on CNN,Fox National News, and National Public Radio’s All Things Considered along with at least 15 different statewide media outlets from across the US.
To maximize our impact, we are narrowing our focus on what I consider the three pillars of gambling reform:
1) Restrict gambling advertising, marketing, and sponsorships to protect the health and well-being of kids and their families.
2) Cut the financial losses that citizens are suffering from commercialized gambling by 50%.
3) End the profiteering by gambling operators at the expense of citizens who have been turned into gambling addicts.
“How” we achieve these major reforms is by expanding our national reach through advocacy, litigation, and education efforts that reveal the truth behind gambling operators and their partners. Specifically, we will work to restrict gambling ads, reduce gambling losses, and dismantle the sham system of “responsible gambling” that has allowed operators to inflict severe harm on millions of Americans.
We will work with legislators and other opinion leaders on bills that achieve these goals at the federal, state, and local levels. We will partner with reform-minded attorneys to fight for these reforms through the courts.
And, we will dramatically expand our education efforts to include: a 2023 national conference in the Washington, DC area on April 28-29th (registration and more info can be found here or by clicking the image below); at least ten webinar events with the best independent experts in the world; a bigger presence on national media; and a long-overdue focus on social media.
Our members make our country a more just, loving, and merciful place. Thank you for the contributions you make to our network and to our nation.
I was reviewing an upcoming event I saw on Facebook that will be taking place here where I live in Arizona. Since I battle challenges of mental health, I am going to soon share it here on my website as it pertains to raising Mental Health Awareness through the event being held in Mesa, AZ late this month.
But as I read and research all the information? I came across an article about one of the musical guests who will be performing at the event. As read and dug deeper about the guest, Alex Boye’ who happens to be an exceptional vocalist and a singer who happens to Africanize Pop songs. I love his music as he is a very talented singer after being founded on “America’s Got Talent” years back.
Long story short, his wife is white, while Alex is black born in London, England and they have eight biracial healthy thriving children… But about 10 years ago Alex’s wife, Julie received an anonymous letter from someone that IS filled with HATE, trash talk, and heartbreak, along with being an ignorant racist.
Since February is “Black History Month,” I felt it fitting to share this letter because I applaud her answer to the person who is anonymous and actually mailed it to her home address, which is disturbing in itself. It just touched me to my core while reading HER answer in this article.
I CHEERED as I read her letter, But sadly, it also proves that we have NOT come far enough out of people still spewing hateful racist remarks and their ideology thinking of today. Sad, but true…
Perspective: What I’ve been wanting to say to the anonymous hater
My husband is Black. Our eight children are biracial. We love each other even when we are confronted by haters… By Julie Boyé Feb 202
Editor’s note: Ten years ago, the author of this essay, Julie Boyé, received an anonymous letter through the mail. The letter was riddled with expletives and racial slurs directed at Julie Boyé, who is married to British-American singer Alex Boyé, and her family. The letter states, in part, that Julie is a “disgrace to the rest of us white people,” because Julie is white and Alex is Black. The letter was signed “Concerned Parents.” In this essay, Julie Boyé is publicly responding to the letter for the first time.
___________________________
Dear “Concerned Parents,”
I’ve wanted to respond to your letter for a long time now. But I don’t want you to think that you’ve been at the forefront of my mind. Actually, you’ve been benched in the back. But every so often, I think about the day I got your letter, and I’m reminded that people like you actually do exist, which I’ll never be able to comprehend.
It was 10 years ago when I received your stamped envelope in my mailbox. The handwriting looked like a kindergartener’s penmanship, complete with backward R’s and a combination of upper and lowercase letters. You made the effort to make the handwriting unrecognizable, which I found strange.
“Who in Pennsylvania knows where I live?” I wondered.
I thought maybe it was fan mail of some kind. Sometimes people write to thank me for letting my husband, Alex Boyé, take time away from our family to perform a concert or speak. I thought it might be something like that.
It was not that.
It was a vile diatribe so profoundly disturbing that it reminded me of those described in Latter-day Saint scripture as “a wild and a hardened and a ferocious people.” Except you sat behind a computer like a coward, typed a letter berating my amazing, God-given family, got in your car, paid for a stamp, and mailed your deranged rant anonymously. At least villains of old had the courage to show their faces.
You seemed to find pleasure in name-calling. You used the N-word repeatedly. You called my family “shameless ingrates” and “mongrels.” Multiple times, you called me a prostitute. I’ve come to realize that your letter is really about you, and not about me. It’s a reflection of just how hurt you must be to write a letter like this.
Because hurt people hurt people.
Still, it’s astounding the way you choose to speak. You said you would disown your children if they were romantically involved with a person of another race, and that you’ve been telling them that since they were small. You said you would rather your kids be with a white father who abused them than with a Black father who did not.
But here’s the kicker: There is hope for your kids, and maybe for you, too. Your kids, I believe, will likely be better than you. They may well be pioneers of peace in your family, not the carriers of repugnant racist beliefs passed down from an ignorant parent.
Like my own husband, who was a victim of abuse, they may be the ones who can break the link to end a destructive chain within a family’s line. Who knows, maybe your children could be the means to open your own eyes and lead you to the love that comes on the other side of blind bigotry.
______________________
“In Loving v. Virginia, decided on June 12, 1967, the U.S. Supreme Court unanimously struck down Virginia’s law prohibiting interracial marriages as a violation of the Fourteenth Amendment. The appellants, Richard and Mildred Loving, of Caroline County, had married in Washington, D.C., in June 1958 and then returned to Virginia, where they were arrested. After pleading guilty, they were forced to leave the state. The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) filed motions and appeals on their behalf beginning in 1963, and after the Virginia Supreme Court of Appeals ruled against the Lovings in 1966, the U.S. Supreme Court heard their arguments.
The case came after nearly 300 years of legislation in Virginia regulating interracial marriage and carefully defining which citizens could legally claim to be white. Two U.S. Supreme Court cases, Pace v. Alabama (1883) and Maynard v. Hill (1888), upheld the constitutionality of such laws. In 1924, the Act to Preserve Racial Integrity banned interracial marriage in Virginia while defining a white person as someone who had no discernible nonwhite ancestry. It was this law that the U.S. Supreme Court ruling said denied Virginians’ “fundamental freedom” to marry. Loving v. Virginia is a landmark case, both in the history of race relations in the United States and in the ongoing political and cultural dispute over the proper definition of marriage.“
_______________________
It’s been almost 55 years since the decision in Loving v. Virginia, the Supreme Court case that invalidated laws banning interracial marriage. We still have a long way to go to get rid of racism in our society, but as CBS News reported, “Nowadays, you can hardly open a magazine or turn on the TV without seeing an interracial couple.” Nearly 1 in 5 marriages in the U.S. involve people of different ethnicities, nearly twice the number from just two decades ago.
In other words, ironically, you’re the aberration, not me.
February is Black History Month, and at this time each year, I’m always reminded of the heroic accomplishments of our Black brothers and sisters. The insulting names, the abuse, and the racist ladders they had to climb give me perspective on just how minuscule my own experience with racism has been.
As Alex likes to say, “It’s Black History Month every month for me. I’m still Black in March, April, May, and June.”
The scriptures teach us to turn the other cheek, but sometimes we need a little spinal adjustment and pop of the neck to help us combat the punches.
So to that end, I declare to you, “Concerned Parents”:
We, The Boyés are a thriving family of 10 in a world that otherwise criticizes us for our size. I have eight strong and resilient kids who love one another and help each other and try to be like Jesus. I have a husband who lifts me up and stands behind me when cowards like you come swingin’ (and miss). He bears me up in the moments I lose my confidence to trolls who delight in the shedding of emotional blood continually.
So thank you very much for your concern, but it’s misplaced, much like your values.
The Boyés are doing just fine.
How are your kids?
Visit Alex’s website to sample his music as a multicultural Vocalist at:https://alexboye.com/… His Ukraine Tribute and Charity Fund Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6TZD1jfMkc Julie Boyé and her husband, Alex, live in Sandy, Utah, with their eight kids and goldendoodle.
“Surf through experiences and conditions by asking what is a greater expression of life in this area? Live in that question, and waves of insight will become more available to you.” ~Michael B. Beckwith
We are going through many challenges right now as the human race, and sometimes it feels like too much to bear. Obvious climate-change weather occurrences, and so much division, and hatred between factions.
In my meditation time, I ask myself “What is a greater expression of life in this area?” And what comes to me is that through what we don’t want, we are getting clearer on what we do. All of these are conditions and experiences that shall pass and are temporary.
What we can count on is Spirit or God, infinite, steady, and omnipresent.
I am one with this ‘Presence.’ I am one with ‘All That Is.’ I am love and harmony and unity. I am peace-filled. I am replete with gratitude for the wisdom imparted to me.
Coming in January 2023 — A Zoom Book Study facilitated by Deborah Perdue, 6 weeks starting Wed. Jan 4th, 3:30-5pm U.S. Pacific time. We will be studying Tara Brach’s powerful book True Refuge, Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart. We have some committed, wonderful folks who have registered and can accept a few more. Let me know if you are interested by Email info@graceofgratitude.com …
Remember to share these daily gratitude reflections with friends. I love to add new subscribers and share my thoughts of gratitude. I welcome emails and will reply to any and all. Thank you! Sign up to receive the daily reflections at info@graceofgratitude.com
Gratitude Reflections are sent out Monday-Friday, except for major holidays.
There are certain situations that people find themselves, that it is only the hand of God that can bring them out. Divine intervention is the sudden movement of God upon your situation and challenges and when God is fighting for you as no one can harm you when under the covering of God…
~Unknown
Let me share how I work my recovery and some of my backstory, if you will, about my recovery journey within my faith.
Now, I’m not going to preach a ‘Sunday Gospel Sermon’ to you all… lol.
These are just some of my personal experiences of why I believe my recovery wouldn’t work doing so all by myself. I believe in a higher power greater and my higher power happens to be God and his Son, our Lord, and savior, Jesus Christ.
In November of 2002, my mother passed, and then my best friend, who was older than me, and was like an adopted mom passed due to cancer, and my addiction at that time got so severe I tried suicide. My gambling addiction was raging out of control. My 40th birthday was in a week, and there I was, suffering in an addictions/mental health crisis center.
I became one of the gambling addiction statistics of one in five will try suicide.
Thankfully God stepped in and helped me when I could not help myself. I ended up at an Indian Casino for hours on a bad gambling binge when I was supposed to be at my best friend’s memorial service.
All of these events and loss was too much for me to handle!
See, I had turned my back on God when I became a gambling addict. Sounds kind of corny, but I would tell myself, “how can Jesus love me when I hate myself and am deep into my addiction?” I felt he probably gave up on me anyway. I learned this was not true. But I kept on within my addiction and was deep in selfishness. I was lost, broken, and spiritually gone. Not knowing God had been with me every step of the way!
Within almost 30 days in this crisis center, I began a gambling treatment program.
I was also diagnosed with several mental health disorders and started a medication treatment and therapy plan as well. I became a dually diagnosed person and am beginning recovery. It was way more than I could handle or wrap my mind around at that time. I had a tough time accepting the fact that I had several mental disorders. And, yes, I did have another failed suicide in 2006, but that was all from the two of the medications I was on had stopped working. And, well, that is another post for another time.
Soon after my release from the crisis center, and while I was in the center, my husband started attending Church with his friends from work. It was where he drew his strength from all this chaos I created with my addicted gambling. Faith helped me shed the guilt and pain of knowing what I put my husband through. Because now I had even MORE GUILT of scaring our families and my husband with my failed suicide! My husband kept going to Church and didn’t push me to go.
See, we were both raised Catholics, but a few years into our marriage, we stopped attending mass as we both felt disappointed about all the media and news coming out about the abuse of many children at the hands of priests. We also didn’t feel right or agree any longer about “giving confession ” as it felt like it was an intrusion of our relationship, our personal relationship with God.
I finally decided to go with him to Church and we attended Calvary Chapel in late December 2002. By August of 2003, we rededicated our lives and faith to Christ by being rebaptized, still living in Grants Pass, Oregon at that time, and within the Famous Rogue River. This was a miracle for me as I had my husband on one side and the Pastor on the other. When they lifted me out of the water? I honestly felt feelings I had never had before. It was like all the bad in my life and within addiction had slipped away and been replaced by what I felt: God’s love, grace, and mercy, and I haven’t looked back since!
Courtesy Dynamic Art
I still have and feel those same feelings today.
Without my faith in my higher power, GOD, I know that I would not be sharing this with you. I genuinely am a living, breathing, walking MIRACLE of God, his power greater than myself. It has enabled me to reach 16 years maintaining my recovery path and still counting.
Do I go to Church every Sunday?
No, because as God tells us in Matthew 18:20 – –
“For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.”
So, long story short, never underestimate the power of your higher power.
It is where all your MIRACLES within recovery come from and especially through the Holidays!
In Memory of Marilyn L. Davis: Goodbye to my dear friend and ‘big sis’
I owe an apology to all the followers and to the contributors of this site because it’s been a long time since anyone has said or done anything here. That’s because, as many of you now know, our dear friend and mentor Marilyn L. Davis passed away on June 11 of this year. I didn’t find out about her passing until September. I found out through one of the former contributors to the site who was emailing me and was unaware that I did not know she had passed.
It hit me like a ton of bricks. It froze me in time. It placed some major decisions in my lap that I was not ready for, and, frankly, that Marilyn and I had never discussed. Believe it or not, in all the years we were together…
Hello Recovery Friends, Supporters, and New Visitors,
I have several updates and opportunities for you! One is about an exceptional video to watch of a conference held last week about STATE LOTTERIES. It is very informative to watch. The other news is TWO opportunities to share your story and experiences with ONLINE SPORTS BETTING.
Then, the fine folks of the MA Council on Problem Gambling are looking for people willing to share their stories of gambling addiction or problem gambling and recovery exclusively for their website. See all the details below. I always enjoy keeping everyone informed and educated, including the public!
~Advocate Catherine Lyon
“Investigative journalist seeking to interview citizens who’ve suffered harm from online sports gambling“
Stop Predatory Gambling was contacted by a national investigative journalist who is seeking to interview citizens who have been harmed in some way by online sports gambling and the gambling operators behind it. The person could be anyone who developed an online sports gambling problem, a loved one or friend of an addicted online sports gambler, an employer, etc. The person can do the interview anonymously if professional or family considerations are a significant factor.
People revealing the truth about predatory gambling with these kinds of stories can make a real difference in bringing about change. Please ask your family, friends, co-workers, and website visitors if they know someone who has been harmed and is open to discussing what happened.
If they are a member of Gamblers Anonymous or Gam-Anon, any interview will not reference GA in keeping with the guidelines of those organizations.
Please call or email me as soon as possible if you know someone, and I’ll pass it on to the journalist to get them connected.
Thank you.
Best, Les Bernal Stop Predatory Gambling
Stop Predatory Gambling Foundation 100 Maryland Avenue NE, Room 310 | Washington, District of Columbia 20002 (202) 567-6996 | les@stoppredatorygambling.org
******************** ***********************
A Message and OpportunityFrom MA Office of The National Council on Problem Gambling:
Massachusetts Council on Gaming and Health
ICYMI: “Our Tell Your Story series” is accepting submissions. No writing is required, just a brief, confidential interview on your real-life experience with gambling.
And Lastly, A Message From Les Bernal of Stop Predatory Gambling~ STATE LOTTERIES
Catherine,
Below is the video to watch last week’s important national event, “How States’ Experiment with Lotteries Has Failed and Why It Affects You,” which featured prominent national lottery expert Dr. Jonathan Cohen, author of the important new book“For a Dollar and a Dream: State Lotteries in Modern America,”and Sean Mussenden, data editor for the Howard Center for Investigative Journalism at the University of Maryland who was a key figure behind the publication of the 2022 groundbreaking national series on state lotteries, “Mega Billions: The Great Lottery Wealth Transfer.”Brief background about each speaker is below.
If you didn’t get to attend, I urge you to watch the forum. Cohen and Mussenden were engaging, highly knowledgeable, and persuasive. After you watch it, I strongly urge you to share the video with your email list and your social media networks, inviting people to learn for themselves how severe and urgent the problem of state lotteries has become and how it affects all of us, including those who rarely, if ever, gamble on the lottery.
I also strongly encourage you to share the video with every local, state, and federal official in your region, along with members of the local and state media.
The video is NOW posted to our Stop Predatory Gambling YouTube channel, and it can be watched here. You can also click on the image below.
This webinar is one of a series of events that we’re hosting, and we’d be grateful if you would please take one minute to fill out this brief survey about the event to give us your feedback.
About the Speakers:
Dr. Jonathan D. Cohen is a program officer at the American Academy of Arts & Sciences. He is the co-editor of All In: The Spread of Gambling in Twentieth-Century United States and Long Walk Home: Reflections on Bruce Springsteen. He received his Ph.D. in history from the University of Virginia. His new book “For a Dollar and a Dream: State Lotteries in Modern America” was published by Oxford University Press and can be purchased here.(Use coupon code AAFLYG6 to receive a 30% discount.)
Sean Mussenden is the data editor for the Howard Center for Investigative Journalism, an investigative reporting unit at the University of Maryland Philip Merrill College of Journalism that partners early-career journalists and veteran journalists at news organizations like the Associated Press, PBS NewsHour,and National Public Radio to produce deeply reported investigative stories.
We can fund essential events like this national webinar because of our members’ selfless financial generosity. If you support our mission to reveal the truth behind commercialized gambling operators to prevent more victims, please become a member of our national network by making a gift of any size you can afford today.
I have received many emails from my recovery friends asking me how my buddy Lang is doing after his hospital stay and diagnosis of Behcet’s Disease…
Well, he shares most of it in his new post! He is still needing financial support and blessings. He still has a long recovery road. One eye surgery is done, but one more to go. So ongoing specialist appointments and some of the meds are not covered by insurance, which sucks! I have raised and given him over $600, but I’m way off on my goal of $1600-…
He could really use our help!
This was sent to me by a friend of mine to keep me “Spiritually Uplifted,”… and I’m sharing it with all of you, which includes some free ebooks on ‘Self-Love and Inspiration’ by award-winning authors and recovery friends. https://books.bookfunnel.com/drdanspromo/yc84zmwa9x
Joined Together in Love
With all my heart, I give thanks to my spiritual & recovery family, which keeps on expanding year by year.
I connect each week with my beloved, loving peeps at the Sunday services I enjoy together in love and camaraderie…
I share fine friendships where we listen intently without judgment, offer sage advice if asked, and remind each other of our gift to the world and that is each of us.
In all these cases, we study timeless wisdom together, share deeply, and expand our hearts and minds while supporting one another.
Such a blessing to embrace like-minded friends in my life. And Ikeep meeting more light-filled…
Another new post by my friend Lang of “Nobody Knows But Me” and his journey from addiction and homelessness into recovery and standing tall within REDEMPTION.
Blessings,
Catherine
I want to start by sharing this from my dear friend Catherine Lyon:
I can never say enough good things about this man!
SERIOUSLY… Lang has come a long way within GOD’S Love, Care, and Mercy, as even when his health is not good, he still finds ways to be of recovery service to others, and make someone SMILE!
His advocacy might sometimes be a little unconventional (LOL), but his heart is always in the right place. You can’t expect more when he is still on a healing journey of his own…still. It is what his website is all about. Sharing his journey and voice for those who feel they don’t have one or feel lost.
😺✨💞✝✝
Advocate Catherine Lyon
This is an article I wrote a few years back as I was invited to share my story about being homeless and addicted to meth with abuse of alcohol. It…
Post and Article Share Courtesy of the fine friends of https://knowtheodds.org/ – “Know The Odds,” a fantastic resource for problem gamblers and their families.
Every day, millions of individuals across the globe are recovering from addicted gambling and mental and substance abuse disorders.
Among those conditions is problem gambling, medically defined by the DSM-5 as Disordered Gambling. Problem gambling affects approximately 2 million people nationwide, with another 4-6 million at risk. During this month of understanding recovery and the disorders and addictions individuals struggle to overcome, we want to shine a light on those affected by problem gambling.
It’s a disorder that isn’t easily noticed and isn’t often talked about. We refer to it as the hidden addiction because it can be hard to recognize the signs until the disorder has begun to seriously affect the individual’s health or cause significant financial problems.
WHAT WAS RECOVERY MONTH?
National Recovery Month is celebrated by many in the addiction and recovery community throughout September, serving as a way to recognize those living with mental and substance abuse disorders and their loved ones fighting the battle alongside and behind them. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) provides resources, updates, and ways to get involved on their site.
Many organizations are using this month to share recovery stories, organize events and spark a dialogue about mental and substance abuse disorders. While these conversations should be happening year-round, taking a month to recognize the importance of recovery is an important place to start.
UNDERSTANDING GAMBLING DISORDER & RECOVERY
Problem gambling can happen to anyone. It’s a disorder that knows no limits of age, gender, or ethnicity. It doesn’t care about your background or the numbers on your paycheck. There are many ways to gamble, from initially low-stakes to high, and they can all end up costing the individual more than they bargained for.
It’s essential to recognize that disordered gambling tends to co-occur with other addictions, such as alcohol or drug dependence. According to the National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions (NESARC), 73.2 percent of people with a gambling disorder also had an alcohol use disorder. Likewise, 31.8 percent had a drug use disorder. While co-occurring disorders aren’t always a part of gambling disorders, it’s also important to be aware of the correlation.
Experiencing multiple disorders calls for different approaches to treatment and recovery. To get the most effective treatment, it’s vital for individuals to acknowledge their gambling disorder and anything else they have recognized is affecting them.
Why is recovery so important? Problem gambling has the highest rate of suicide of all addictions.
The journey to recovery requires a bit of planning and commitment. You can cross the finish line, but you must prepare yourself for the obstacles ahead.
What are you going to do with the time you used to spend gambling?
How are you going to avoid old triggers?
Will you become dependent on another unhealthy activity or substance?
These are all real, severe questions that many problem gamblers face at the beginning of their recovery. They may be tough to answer, but thinking about them now will help you continue a successful and lasting recovery. You will need to consider your lifestyle, behaviors, and habits when embarking on your journey to be prepared for the challenges you may face. Find more tips on facing recovery in our ebook on staying safe after problem gambling.
DON’T BE AFRAID TO SEEK HELP!
Remember, you don’t have to face this alone. You can find support in the stories of others who are experiencing similar problems from gambling, reach out to trusted friends and family members, or talk to a professional who can help you map your recovery.
If you need support or advice for dealing with problem gambling, the NYS HOPEline is available to help! You can reach them free of charge, 24 hours per day, 7 days per week, by calling 1-877-8-HOPENY.
For professional support and treatment for problem gambling in New York State, our Gambling Support Directory provides a network of organizations providing services for disordered gambling.
The path to recovery can have its ups and downs, but don’t lose sight of the finish line. You can get through this, and people want to help you recover and care!
I would encourage you to visit my friends, “Know The Odds,” on their website. They have helpful resources for locals living in NYC and national resources.
Problem Gambling Resource Centers
Funded by the New York State Office of Addiction Services and Supports, the New York State Problem Gambling Resource Centers (PGRCs) are the New York Council on Problem Gambling programs. The goal of the PGRCs is to address problem gambling across New York State by:
increasing public awareness about problem gambling;
connecting those adversely affected by gambling with services that can help them.
I can never say enough good things about this man!
SERIOUSLY…
Lang has come a long way within GOD’S Love, Care, and Mercy as even when his health is not good, he still finds ways to be of recovery service to others, and make someone SMILE!
His advocacy might be a little unconventional at times, (LOL), but his heart is always in the right place. You can’t expect more when he is still on a healing journey of his own…still.
It is what his website is all about. Sharing his journey and his voice for those who feel they don’t have one.
I will start this new post with a bit of a Health Update for my new friends, visitors, and recovery supporters.
Since I had been released from UCLA Medical center after nine days at the end of last month on a Thursday, I had another trip back that Sunday. So, my friend Adam took me to VC Memorial in Ventura around 4:30 PM with severe pain in my stomach. After some tests, it was the blood thinners my blood doctor had me on, and my body had an adverse reaction to them.
So they took me off them for 48 hours, and we are trying some new ones. I was finally released around 2 AM and went home. I finally got an eye appointment with the eye surgeon next week to drain the fluid out of my right eye and see if I’ll need surgery to attach…
“Forward Written By 2X Super Bowl Champ Leonard Marshall.”
“Entertaining true crime meets an encouraging spiritual awakening.“
Having the right mix of encouragement and entertainment, Corbin Bosiljevac’s memoir gets to the heart of an extraordinary story told by an ordinary man. When questionable choices, addiction, and mental health consume his existence, the yearning for something larger becomes imperative.
This is a true story about a man’s struggles through a time in his life when choices led him astray. From college graduate and Fortune 1000 salesman to black-market drug dealing, crime emerged as an everyday event. Illicit drugs and illegal commerce became profitable and daunting, while the danger of these activities began to creep closer by the hour. With federal prison as the catalyst, there was a chance that he would not recover. Being a fearful time, the crippling anxiety overshadowed any hope he had left. But his life was rebuilt with a new foundation.
These changes did not come easily or quickly, but anything worthwhile never does. This is truly a story of redemption. “On to the Next Thing” is an excellent read about not giving up on life no matter how far you have fallen. Our individual journeys do not necessarily unfold as we have planned, but it is our experiences that shape our time. Unfortunately, our past doesn’t define who we are today. These experiences during this time are his real story.
Corbin Bosiljevac
ABOUT THE BEST-SELLING AUTHOR
Corbin Bosiljevac is an influential writer and the best-selling author of his debut memoir, “On to the Next Thing: A Memoir on Crime, Choices, and Change.” His biography reads like a real true crime story that is eye-opening but with the right mix of encouragement and entertainment. The book is available on Barnes & Noble and Amazon and featured on many fine book sites in paperback, e-book, nook, and audiobook versions.
A product of the midwest, he was born in Wichita, KS, and grew up in Emporia, KS. He studied and attended the University of Kansas. He earned his Bachelor’s degree from The School of Journalism; he has spent most of his adult life in the Kansas City area.
His extensive travels around the United States mainly consist of outdoor adventures and camping, but when traveling, he enjoys discovering the history of the cities and places he visits. He also enjoys growing things, especially food. Corbin shares that “plants are good for the soul, and if they produce healthy food, then all the better!” Corbin enjoys reading, and his author influencers are David Sedaris and Simon Sinek.
Today, Corbin has been able to reform and transform his life to be health-focused; he now works with his father, Dr. Joseph Bosiljevac, in the medical field. They operate ‘New York Health and Longevity’ and ‘Flint Hills Surgical Associates.’ With the new health measures put in place during 2020-Covid, they focus on immune-boosting therapies and total body rebooting programs. The author now resides in Kansas City, MO.
“What can we gain by sailing to the moon if we are not able to cross the abyss that separates us from ourselves?”
~Thomas Merton
I am utterly thankful for my exploration into all parts of myself – the dark and the light, the insecurities and glories, and all the areas that are in-between since nothing in life is black and white. I delve into my consciousness, often asking myself my true motives and questioning anything that doesn’t feel right in my heart. Always, my intention is to bridge any gaps in my understanding of the oneness of life, and that includes understanding my deep connection and oneness with all of life.
How grateful I am to be brave and courageous, to cross the abyss in my own mind and soul, to heal all parts, dwelling in wholeness.
West Coast women: let me know if you’d like to find out more about the 4th Annual. Fall Retreat I am facilitating. It will be near Crescent City, CA, near sacred redwood groves, and right on the pristine Smith River. The dates are Thurs. Oct. 6th, 5pm through Sunday, Oct. 9th, 11am. Two spots left! First come, first serve.
Please share these gratitude reflections freely. I welcome emails and will reply to any and all. Thank you!
Gratitude Reflections are sent out Monday-Friday, except for major holidays.
For me, one way it comes is through witnessing the supreme beauty of creation. I am inspired, in awe, in constant wonder, of all the magical goings-on abounding everywhere I look.
Inspiration also emergesthrough meditation and contemplation . . . where I am reminded what is true for me, and feel the joy it inspires: that we are all connected, that the power of love supersedes fear, and that to hurt anything hurts me.
I am inspired by many lit-up luminaries in this world, who walk their talk, and show me by who they are, how to live a good life of integrity.
How glad I am to let the world and its occupants, including the blessed animals, inspire me.
From Day 288, Daily Gratitude Reflections Vol. 2 Deborah Perdue’s New Book
A Funny, Dangerous, Sad Journey from Addiction and Drug Dealing to Recovery and Redemption.
Leonard Lee Buschel Blithely Skated Through Life with Aplomb, Good Luck and Chutzpah, High on Pot and More, A Life That Emulates the Films He Features in His Internationally Acclaimed Annual REEL Recovery Film Festival.
Leonard Lee Buschel marvels that he survived the first 44 years of his life…He still can’t believe that he didn’t get knocked off by drug dealers, thieves, or the copious amounts of drugs he himself ingested. Or locked up for life in a U.S. or international prison. And then again, there were the near-death asthma attacks, open-heart surgery and the brain tumor…
Yes, it’s a whale of tale—all true—that he writes in his acclaimed autobiography HIGH: Confessions of a Cannabis Addict.
Buschel lived to tell about it with vast humor, thrilling storytelling, and great insight. He is an Addiction Expert and California Certified Substance Abuse Counselor. He is editor/publisher of the respected weekly news source Addiction/Recovery eBulletin, director of the 14-year-old REEL Recovery Film Festival and Symposium. and co-founder of Writers in Treatment, which supports creatives who struggle with addiction and self-destructive behaviors.
But to get to that eminence, he first had to survive his profligate youth and his 25-year chosen profession as a drug dealer. Buschel’s life started skidding off the rails just weeks after his birth when his postal-worker father died of a massive heart attack on his way home from work, throwing what began as the idyllic family life of a middle-class Philadelphia Jewish family into a skid.
Raised by his mother – herself a very quirky character — alongside his older brother, Leonard learned most of his life lessons at the corner candy store under the guidance of the local bookie and a group of cigar-smoking, streetwise philosophers who thought nothing of buying hot merchandise out of the trunk of a car.
Gradually, experimentation with pot and sex unleashed a nearly life-long addiction to both — and what better way to support a cannabis habit than get into the business? Hijinks, adventure, and near-disaster across international and state lines ensued, alongside explorations of the spiritual, metaphysical, and psychedelic, oftentimes populated by personal encounters with the likes of poet Allen Ginsburg, Ram Dass, Jiddu Krishnamurti; a series of Woodstock headliners; and Hollywood luminaries including John Cassavetes, Gena Rowlands, Stacy Keach, and others.
And close friendships with Robert Downey Sr., in particular, and Robert Downey Jr. -who was often there to lend support in challenging times. He spent much of his drug-selling proceeds to see the leading jazz artists, rock music superstars, and Broadway shows of the era—always living HIGH!
But finally, in his 50s, in the midst of an emotional breakdown over a shattered relationship, and after “smoking his breakfast, drinking his lunch and snorting his dinner” for many years, Buschel checked himself into the Betty Ford Center. It was hitting the lowest of the lows that so many addicts experience.
It was time to see what a month would be like without vodka, weed, or ecstasy. For Buschel, it was a revelation! Every moment he was struck by how alive he felt when not under the influence. For him, the power of the program there and at AA worked wonders. He has now been clean and sober for more than two decades. And while he tinkered with several careers to replace his successful but illegal profession, he finally found himself drawn to helping other addicts kick the habit and find a stable, healthy, robust sober life.
Inspired by the work, he launched the eBulletin, film festival, and organization Writers in Treatment, which he cofounded with Robert Downey Sr, which has made him a leader in the recovery field. HIGH is a fascinating read, a lively romp through a very vivid life, but it is also a cautionary tale and one that inspires. If anyone as committed to the drug life as Leonard Buschel, and can find sobriety beyond 25 years of active addiction and drug dealing, then there is hope for those who are inspired by his message that there is a better life waiting—and that they can achieve it, too.
I enjoy sharing some of my supportive friends and the resources they offer to help those who might be problem gamblers or may have a full-blown addiction to it.
My fine friends at GamTalk – https://www.gamtalk.org/ have many resources anyone can tap into to get help from gambling. Dr. Richard Wood is the founder and Ken L. is an administrator of this awesome website as they have given many a safe place and platform to share and give support to those looking to stop suffering in silence from this cunning and insidious disease.
I would encourage anyone who has a gambling problem to go join free and be with other like-minded people so you know you are NOT ALONE. I also try to share my thoughts on their community wall with empathy and inspiration to those who may be having a tough time trying to quit and how vital having an open willingness for CHANGE.
In order to change you much follow it up with ACTION. Willing to make changes within your actions is what will help you become BET FREE. Willing to change your addicted thinking, choices, bad habits, and behaviors that come with problem gambling.
It needs and takes action to work and you’ll begin a path of recovery that will be successful and gain a much better life. I’d like to share some anonymous voices so others can see just how difficult it is to change and stop gambling addictively.
Real Voices of Real People
Durr. posted: “We need to be able to survive a bad day. No matter how hard we try to live right, bad days will happen. It is wise to pray to be tough, fight through it, and believe that tomorrow will be better. When bad days happen get into your activities list and get active. Plan and prepare for war against this addiction. Have a journal and fill it with tips and articles about how to quit. Every day, add a bit more. Every day, study the key tips for you. Every day, do what you need to do to renew your mind and habits. It works.”
Pete E. posted: “New here and this day shall be known as day 1 for me…I have come to grips that I need help to stop gambling.”
Cindy R. posted: “My first post …I suppose my entry here will be quite usual. Anxiety way up, making deals with payments, and have noticed that when I’m chasing losses now for the last two months I’ve been noticeably hyper-frustrated when a scratch ticket doesn’t win.
Since I really need the win. Noticing this has prompted me to begin looking to stop or slow down. My mind is as tense as if I’ve Jenn up all night for New Year even with 5 hrs of sleep. Getting help locally is awkward since I’m a neighborhood professional. Thanks for letting me vent here…looking for a therapist whom I can trust locally here in Canada.“
Sally K. posted: “I’ve been gambling for over 12 years and it’s ruined my life. I have no hope for the future. It’s like I can’t feel anything unless I’m sitting in front of a slot machine. I’m scared to go to Gamblers Anonymous as I’m not a faith-based person. I want to find a support group; to be able to talk to and listen to other people like me. Does anyone have any recommendations on where to start?”
Kleaner31 posted: “I recently found out my 29-year-old son has a gambling problem. I’m looking for how I can help him the best.” Ken L. answered: “Hi Kleaner, The best way to help him is to suggest that he visit this site, find some counseling, and start attending GA meetings. And maybe suggest he turn his finances over to you until is finds solid recovery. I have included a link to Gam-Anon which is a Program for family and friends of the gambler. Wish you both well. https://www.gam-anon.org/meeting-directory
Dee M. posted: “Well, now, because of my undisciplined actions i.e. gambling every day, my car is being repossessed on July 8th unless I come up with the money, which I gambled away….I’m an idiot. I seriously have reached out to many agencies, but cannot find help with this. Unfortunately, I NEED my car for work, but I’m pretty much screwed.”Steve answered: “Sometimes churches have funds to help ask them for counseling and for them to take you and the payment to the bank with you.” (I ) Cat L. answered,“It is what happens when you continue to gamble and then chase your losses… You need to break the “cycle” and start also taking your financial inventory. Give your money and all cards, debit, and credit cards to your spouse or a trustworthy person to handle your money.There are many treatment options if you are ready for change.”
Jcp82 posted: “I’m so very happy I stumbled on this forum today. Day #2 of working to make a positive change in my life. It is amazing how (1) simple activity can take over a life. It hurts my insides that I cannot gamble today. But I have no choice but to push through. It will get easier I know, but wow. So happy I am here to read these stories. I am not alone in this and that is a good thing. Have a great day everyone!”
C Marie posted: “Day #3 Thanks everyone for your help. The suggested podcasts are really helping me. Little victories. Today will be a good day. If not, we will make it one. Take care out there guys!”
Cat Lyon – (Me) posted ( I wanted to share my recent amazing NEWS and Accomplishment) “Hello, Group and friends, Happy Belated Canada Day to those who live in Canada! I’m in the USA, and we are celebrating Independence Day tomorrow, but as I write this, I hear fireworks outside. I guess some wanted to start it EARLY… Awe, just the little things. I say this because I sure know I had a lot of crappy 4th of Julys when I was still deeply in my gambling addiction.
This brings me to Thanking Ken for the “Thoughts of the Day” today and tomorrow, depending on where you live. (what country) …As Ken shared, “Change is a part of the flow of life. Sometimes we’re frustrated because change seems slow in coming. Sometimes, too, we’re resistant to a change that seems to have been thrust upon us.”
For those who may be having a rough time, struggling to maintain recovery from this awful and insane addiction, CHANGE is a vital part of our humble beginnings within our recovery path and the willingness to make it.
To have a much better life for you, your spouses, your family, etc. CHANGE doesn’t have to be feared or scary. Wouldn’t it be great to have a life without this addiction dictating it? Or it sucking the life out of you. It is possible. I have been doing it BET FREE for over 15 years. I know it is possible. Was it a rocky road at first? Heck yes. But I truly was sick of being sick and tired.
It took me two failed (thank GOD) suicide attempts and two times through a crisis center and gambling recovery treatment program. No kidding. But? I NEVER GAVE UP. WHY? Because I knew I was living one bet away from death. True. I knew if stayed out there gambling I’m sure another suicide attempt would be looming and as they say, “third times a charm,” and I know I would not be here today if I kept gambling addictively. It is true that every 1 in 5 gamblers WILL try suicide. It’s a fact. And even though at that point I lost just about everything, almost my marriage, and my life, I was one HOT MESS!
Today I live a much better life than the one had before I became a gambling addict. I am very proud that I just completed and graduated from my Freedom Debit Relief program! I finally have paid off all the old debts and collections I had and it was a lot of $$$$$$… I feel so proud of myself for not only getting my financial inventory in order but being accountable for paying all those old debts off.
It IS an amazing feeling! So, never give up trying to stop if you have a gambling problem or it is a full-blown addiction. Your life is worth more than that. And you deserve to be happy and have peace in your life.
Our past doesn’t have to define us so don’t let it dictate YOUR future!
Break Free From Addicted Gambling
I think this gives some examples of how tough it can be to maintain recovery or just reach out for help and have a start somewhere and somehow. When you visit GamTalk’s website, I would also encourage you to read the “The Stories of Hope.”
“The stars were the furnaces that were used to create the universe. Every single atom you interact with was created in the stars, and at this moment, billions and billions of stars are forming more elements….Hopefully, you will never look up at the stars in the same way.” ~Michael A. Singer
We each have stardust in our veins, in our atoms, and throughout our bodies. To me, this proves the idea of Oneness more than anything. Stars billions of years old are within all the elements of the earth, throughout the universe upon universe, and within you and me. How cosmic, how breathtaking, how transcendent this scientific knowledge is.
I am grateful that science and spirituality join together in physics. I am thankful that although we don’t know everything by far, we know some things to be true. And like the song says “We are stardust.” This is a miracle in my opinion, and I am indubitably thankful for the wisdom of the ages that coalesces in the modern-day world, so we can marvel together.
Please share these freely. “I love adding brand new subscribers, so I can share my devotion to the practice of being grateful with more and more. And I love my faithful gratitude tribe too!”
You can order my newest book Daily Gratitude Reflections Vol. 2 at http://www.graceofgratitude.com. For a 25% discount, type in the code Gratitude25% at checkout. Ask to have it autographed and I will be happy to.
An Occasional Blog of Devotionals Inspired by A Course in Miracles, A Course of Love, The Way of Mastery, Choose Only Love, The Way of the Marys, and The Age of the Heart. . .with Celia Hales - https://www.amazon.com/author/celiahales
Sharing My Journey of Hope, Help & Recovery From Gambling Addiction, News & Resources. 