Catherine Townsend-Lyon is an influential writer known for her gripping memoir, “Addicted To Dimes,” and her contributions to the recovery compilation book “Ten The Hard Way: Real Voices of Recovery.” A dynamic speaker, she shares her story through various platforms, including radio shows, podcasts, and speaking engagements. Catherine currently resides in Glendale/Phoenix, Arizona.
** Interview With Catherine Townsend-Lyon – May 2024 Courtesy of All Author **
Can you share a bit about your early childhood and how your love for storytelling began?
I was born an East Coast baby in New Jersey and lived there until my parents moved us to the West Coast of Southern California. I grew up in Highland/Redlands, CA., at seven. As I grew up, I lived and worked in the banking field. At age twenty-five, I moved to Southern Oregon to live a slower lifestyle. As a teenager, I spent time in my room and liked writing, thinking I was writing poems or song lyrics.
Of course, that was all in my head! LOL.
My childhood was a little rough as I continue to be a survivor of trauma and sexual abuse as a little girl. Writing and journaling were one way for me not to think about what had happened to me that became part of the trauma I felt years later.
You have been featured in various media outlets and publications. What impact does such visibility have on the conversation surrounding addiction?
Yes, I contributed to several addiction/recovery publications through the years after my memoir/book, published in the late fall of 2012. I have been a featured guest on many radio and podcast appearances. It is a powerful way to start the conversation about recovery from gambling addiction and begin to raise more awareness about this growing disease.
I look at it in this way: ANY addiction is a disease, be it gambling, drugs, alcohol, etc., that is only the “preference” of what we choose to partake. Mine happened to be gambling, and I became addicted to it the more I gambled. Doing so also helps to shatter the stigma around addiction and recovery.
How do you maintain your recovery lifestyle, and what advice do you have for others struggling with addiction?
I have maintained my recovery from addicted gambling for about 17 years now. Doing so comes naturally at this point in my recovery journey. Much of my advocacy work is to support others who are first entering recovery, even as I share my advocacy work and blog about my recovery journey, which means doing something every day to support my recovery.
What advice would I give to those who may have a gambling problem? First, acknowledging that gambling is interfering with your life is a big step forward. Know there is help available for you. You don’t need to suffer in silence because you are not alone when it comes to problem gambling. Second, they need to reach out for help. I advise “The National Council on Problem Gambling: Helpline Home – National Council on Problem Gambling …
They offer a 24/7 Hotline at 1-800-GAMBLER, which can provide you with the necessary information in your area or state to get help. Over the years, I have worked with and written articles for them.
Can you share a bit about your journey with gambling addiction and how it led to your advocacy work?
My journey began when I tried to commit suicide in 2002 because my gambling addiction got that “BAD.” Thankfully, GOD had a higher calling and purpose for my life. After my release from the hospital, my husband arranged a 30-day stay in an addiction/behavioral center. Ironically, it was paid for by the Oregon State-sponsored gambling treatment program.
I also began attending recovery group meetings and loads of therapy. I was blessed to have my husband’s support, which was essential and half the battle of becoming “bet-free.” I began to learn why I was gambling in the first place. Learning the underlying issues and roots of why I was using it to “escape and numb out” the pain and hurt of the sexual abuse and trauma I went through as a little girl.
During the worst of my addiction, I was gambling money I didn’t have and gambled away paychecks and rent money, and the financial chaos was never-ending. I was gambling several times a day or would drive 40 miles to an Indian Casino and spend hours and hours there gambling. It was an insane 10 to 14 years of pure hell and insanity with addicted gambling. My gratitude today now comes from my recovery and living a healthy life.
What inspired you to write “Addicted To Dimes” and “Ten The Hard Way: Real Voices of Recovery”?
Again, I was blessed to have the help of an exceptional editor and friend who took my journaling and writings from seven notebooks and formed them into a manuscript for “Addicted to Dimes.” She helped me walk the fine line of making my memoirs not sound like I was blaming others or things around my addiction.
See, “Addicted to Dimes” is NOT a book on “How to Recover,” it is about times in my past that were not dealt with or processed in a healthy way that added fuel to my addiction. It is about learning the underlying issues to begin to heal as I maintain the early stages of my recovery journey.
What do you hope readers take away from your memoir and your contributions to “Ten The Hard Way”?
Our book “Ten The Hard Way” came later. It is an anthology I worked on with my dear friend and fellow author Kevin Coughlin, and it came years later. We invited several of our friends to share their stories of recovery in hopes that it may inspire those who may have any addiction to reach out for help and HOPE. Each person’s story carries many powerful messages.
You’ve been actively involved in raising awareness about gambling addiction. What are some common misconceptions about this issue that you aim to dispel?
First and foremost is to dispel “Stigma.” Stigma is the number one reason many will not reach out for help from gambling addiction, so many continue to suffer in silence with a gambling problem. Some of the facts, statistics, and misconceptions about problem gambling are staggering. Like, 1 in 5 persons may try suicide from addiction to gambling like I had.
Currently, 2.9% of our population are already problem gamblers, and gambling addiction is now the #1 addiction with the highest suicide rate than any other addiction. It is staggering to me, and I aim to help change this statistic by advocating loud and proud.
What challenges did you face while writing about your experiences, and how did you overcome them?
Writing and journaling for over a year in those notebooks helped me to learn and begin to heal from my past trauma. It was a very emotional journey. I shared an earlier answer that it was different from a traditional manuscript. It took me about a year or so of writing and journaling after a few years into my recovery journey.
Thanks to my dear friend Julie Hall, who transformed it into a book manuscript. We worked together as she edited. Then, my friend and fellow author Steve Laible, who does publishing and owns TKG Publishing, pushed me to publish “Addicted to Dimes” as he believed it would help many who may be suffering in silence with problem gambling.
So he published it on my 50th birthday in 2012. It was a great birthday gift and a legacy of all my advocacy work to leave for others.
As a dynamic speaker, what key messages do you try to convey when sharing your story through various platforms?
My main goals and messages are to share hope with others who may be looking to get help for their gambling problem and share that they are not alone. To not let stigma or what others may say that they have a gambling problem. Even though society sees gambling as “fun and a few hours of entertainment,” there are many who can and do not become addicted to it.
What role do you believe storytelling plays in advocacy work, particularly in the realm of addiction and recovery?
I know sharing one’s story of recovery from gambling addiction, or any other addiction, is a powerful way to reach people. Sharing real and raw recovery and personal experiences is just as important as may be the “medical or clinical” side. It needs to be accepted as a genuine mental, emotional, and medical disease and not just as an addiction.
The habits and negative behaviors we learn and use as survival deep in our addiction need to be changed and replaced with healthy ones. Learn to make better and healthier choices when we enter recovery. So, sharing my real personal experiences and the stories of our journey are ways to shatter the stigma.
Could you discuss some of the resources and support systems you recommend for individuals seeking help for gambling addiction?
Again, I would first recommend others with a gambling problem to visit “The National Council on Problem Gambling” and call the 24/7 Hotline to seek help. Another is Gambler’s Anonymous: U.S. Meetings | Gamblers Anonymous for help and group meetings nationally and internationally. One other is my friends at the “Stop Predatory Gambling” website: Home, a non-profit organization working hard on legislation changes in Washington, DC., on many topics related to problem gambling.
How do you balance the vulnerability of sharing personal experiences with the responsibility of advocating for change and raising awareness?
At this point in my recovery and where I am in my life, I have no vulnerabilities in sharing where I have been with an addicted gambling problem. Part of recovery is knowing “we are not defined by our past” and making peace with it. We learn to take all accountability and ownership of the past.
In doing so, we can move forward in our life journey while being better stewards by helping and caring for others along the way.
What motivates you to continue your advocacy work, even after maintaining your recovery for over 17 years?
What motivates me and is my passion is helping others avoid the cunning and devastating effects of addictive gambling. I look forward to living in the “NOW” and am always excited about the future. However, I will continue to advocate for and mentor those who reach out to me for help and hope. One of the first steps I took when beginning my recovery was coming to terms with the fact that it would be a lifelong process. I am okay with that.
My advocacy work has opened many doors in other areas of my life, including my career and business as a self-employed book marketing consultant.
Another passion from the blessings of my recovery is helping authors learn how to market and promote their new books. I have been doing so for over 11 years and love it! It started when some recovery friends and supporters asked for help marketing their recovery books. I did so, as it came naturally to me. So, I built and began my “at-home business” of Lyon Literary Marketing and Consulting.
How long have you been associated with AllAuthor?
I was lucky to learn about All Author in 2018 and become a pro member. I was so impressed with all the tools and the pricing for becoming a Pro Author that I began sharing my incredible experiences using your services. Your services do help teach authors how to promote their new books.
How has your experience been?
Being a pro member gives you access to all the exceptional services and helps you save money on outsourcing those tasks elsewhere. The utility tools, automated tweets, and book teaser banners are just a few of the many features that can help authors streamline their work and promote their books effectively. I now incorporate your services as a recommended must-have for the authors I work with!
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(Photos: Speaking at The State Capitol of Arizona for a Recover Out Loud Event in April 2019, 2021 Podcast Interview on Knockin’ Doorz Down!)
SPECIAL GUEST ARTICLE By The Fine Friends of ALGAMUS Treatment Center.
Gambling is on the rise among teenagers, and between 60 percent and 80 percent of high school students report having gambled for money in the past year, according to the National Council on Problem Gambling. Of this percentage, 4-6% are considered to be problem gamblers.
Gambling is something that needs to be taken seriously, as it can be extremely damaging, especially for young people.
Dangers Associated with Teen Gambling
Teens today are living in a society where gambling is not only socially acceptable, it is widely promoted and accessible. Gambling is portrayed in the media as being a glamorous activity that can make you lots of money, and make you look cool among your group of friends. However, gambling can lead to serious consequences, including relationship problems, academic problems, financial problems, and more.
Increased Risk of Developing a Gambling Problem
Teens are two to four times more susceptible to developing a gambling problem than adults. Teenagers are more likely to develop gambling addictions because the parts of their brains needed for making good, reasonable decisions have not yet been fully developed. Therefore, they are more impulsive and less inhibited. This makes them prone to making poor decisions, which can mean spending more money than they should and making riskier bets.
Children introduced to gambling by age 12 are 4 times more likely to develop a gambling problem later in life. Gambling can be addictive and lead to a lot of problems, including financial instability, relational strife, and mental health disorders. Ultimately, if gambling becomes a problem, it can completely derail a person’s life.
Mental Health Issues
There also seems to be a link between gambling and mental health problems in young people. It can lead to low self-esteem issues, stress, anxiety, and depression.
If a teen already has a present mental health disorder, they are more prone to developing a gambling addiction, since they may look to gambling as a way to ease their symptoms of anxiety or depression. Gambling can also cause financial stress and problems at work or school, which in turn can further the decline of mental health.
Gambling Can Be a Gateway Drug No Substances Required
Engaging in the risky behavior of gambling can lead teens to want to try substances that will also give them a rush of adrenaline. Teens can easily get hooked on the adrenaline rush that gambling and substances give them, and it can quickly spiral out of control.
How Gambling Affects the Teenage Brain
Teens are notorious for experimentation, and gambling is no exception. However, gambling can have a serious impact on the teenage brain, causing problems with focus, impulse control, and decision-making.
Gambling actually affects the brain’s reward system in the same way that drugs do and causes a “high” when they make a risky bet. When you gamble, your brain releases dopamine, the feel-good neurotransmitter that makes you feel excited.
Although you think you would only feel this rush when you win money, it comes from the mere action of placing a bet. This means that, even if a person loses over and over again and gambling is no longer fun, they can still get hooked on the act of gambling.
Why Do Teens Gamble?
Teens gamble for a variety of reasons, but no one starts gambling thinking that they will develop a problem. Some of the more popular forms of gambling teens bet on include sports betting, poker, and scratch-off lottery tickets.
Gambling to Fill an Emotional Void
Adolescents with gambling problems reported more negative life experiences as a whole and more major negative life events than social gamblers or non-gamblers. They turn to gambling to gain an instant sense of satisfaction, and this can quickly become addicting.
Teens might also gamble as a way to avoid difficult emotions such as loneliness or feeling like they don’t fit into society. When they are winning, it can increase their self-esteem and temporarily make them feel like they are on top of the world.
Gambling as a Social Activity
Gambling often starts as an innocent game between friends – many wouldn’t even consider placing bets to be gambling. However, it can quickly spiral out of control, and cause teens to lose a large amount of money in a short amount of time. Losing money from gambling can cause them to feel as though they must win the money back, which only fuels the gambling problem further, and makes it harder to quit.
Teens may also start gambling due to peer pressure. If all their friends are doing it, they don’t want to feel excluded or like the odd person out.
Gambling for a Thrill
Teens can be impulsive and are looking for an adrenaline rush, and gambling gives that to them. They also see gambling as an easy way to make money.
Identifying a Gambling Problem in Your Teenage Child
Money Lost or Stolen
Teenagers may not be able to see the signs that they are getting too close to losing money. This can happen when your teenager is gambling with friends, or on online games like poker or casino. Gambling can quickly spiral out of control and become a life-threatening problem.
For example, if your teen spends time gambling with friends, and suddenly their savings account is majorly depleted, this could be a sign of a gambling problem. Or if they often ask to borrow money from you and then don’t repay it, this could also be a sign.
Constantly Playing Games
Teens are impressionable and are likely to become hooked on gambling if they start playing games early on. This not only applies to traditional forms of gambling (casino games, lottery tickets, poker) but to new, less obvious forms like video games and fantasy sports. For example, an obsession with sports scores could be an indication of a sports betting addiction.
Changes in Behavior
Look out for behavioral changes in your teen. Warning signs include a loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy, seeming irritable or worried, or changes in sleeping and eating patterns. If you notice that your child is suddenly skipping classes, getting low grades, or having other troubles at school, this can also be a sign that there is a problem.
How to Keep Your Child Safe From Gambling
1. Educate Them About the Risks
With gambling becoming increasingly accessible, kids are exposed to gambling at a very young age. It’s important to be proactive in order to help protect your child from gambling. Just as you would educate your child about drug and alcohol addiction, also educate them on the risks of gambling.
Gambling is not inherently bad, but it needs to be done in a responsible way, which includes having set spending limits and time limits. This way, they can make informed decisions and stay safe from gambling addiction.
2. Monitor Their Gaming Habits
Gambling ads are everywhere – on sports games, social media, and other websites. Kids can also get introduced to gambling through video games, particularly those that involve loot boxes, which are in-game purchases that can progress the player in the game.
If you find any evidence that your child is gambling – for example, they are spending money on betting sites or video games – talk to them about quitting gambling altogether.
There are also helpful online tools available, such as GamBan, which allows you to block access to betting sites and apps, which can help protect your child from gambling.
3. Lead By Example
Examine your own gambling habits. Could you be setting a poor example for your child by betting on sports games or frequently purchasing lottery tickets? By understanding the risks of gambling yourself, you can evaluate your own habits, and learn to gamble responsibly in order to set a good example for your child.
4. No Shame In Seeking Professional Help
If you discover that your child is gambling, and their spending is getting out of control, you may need to seek professional help. Gambling can have serious long-term consequences for your child, and if left untreated, it could lead to addiction or other mental health issues in the future. Now that you understand the risks of teen gambling, you can take steps to help your child avoid these risks.
If you suspect your Teen or College age children are gambling, speak to our gambling addiction treatment experts here at Algamus for advice on how to deal with this issue. We thank Bet Free Recovery Now for having us share our resources and what we do for others from problem gambling!
Get In Touch
Are you or someone you love struggling with a gambling addiction or compulsive behavior?
At Algamus, we provide support and resources that help our clients start a journey free from gambling. Our program covers a variety of treatment plans, as well as an individualized after-care plan.
Stop and fill out the contact form https://www.algamus.org/contact-us and we will contact you as soon as possible to discuss your needs.
I am very excited to welcome my friend Kaden James who I have known and networked with for several years now. Kaden is a fantastic lifestyle coach, speaker, podcaster and so much more. Actually, he kind of has his HAT in many different entrepreneurial realms. He is a fellow author and writer as I am, but most importantly, his life and business coaching has helped me tremendously while I move forward in my recovery journey and lifestyle.
When I visited his website a few days ago, I came across this Special Article I asked him if I could share. Because it touches many topics and areas we all face while maintaining recovery. It taps into some areas to ponder about our past and gives readers a more positive and refreshing way of looking at the many outside influences that can make our journey a little difficult and overcome some of the inner self and unprocessed pain, trauma, abusiveness, or even a shitty childhood.
So, I hope when you read the article something may resonate or help you as it did me. I encourage you to check out the links at the close of his article to his books on Amazon, connect with him on social media, and give his website a visit and see just how he may able to help you!
But, first, who is my buddy, Kaden James. Let’s find out. . .
About Kaden James
Kaden is a bestselling author, writer, and business consultant. He is the founder and owner of Fulfilled Foods, and Spirlit Coaching. “I help companies and individuals become greater forces for good.”
With several published books to his credit that include; “The Daily Playbook” “Coach Yourself” and “REFLEKT,” all available on Amazon online. Kaden always had a zest for life. After having a difficult childhood he studied the most highly successful people he came across and applied their methods and helped others reach their dreams. Through his learning, he came to understand that real success is feeling good about who you are and what you do. Born in California, Kaden was moved to a small town in Idaho at the age of ten, he came from humble beginnings, was focused, and grounded at a young age. He made his way to Los Angeles after graduating early to pursue his dreams.
As the author says, “It’s not about where you come from, what you have, or what you have done, life is about who you become.”
When arriving in Los Angeles, Kaden became a rising star as a singer-songwriter. Frequently featured on MTV, he recorded music for MTV’s ‘The Real World,’ while writing and performing the theme song to both ‘The A-List: New York and Dallas.’ He enjoyed the music ride but was maturing in a new direction and had more he wanted to share.
Since fitness and living a clean, healthy lifestyle are some of his passions, in 2017, he began studying with “Robbins-Madanes Training,” (the official Coach Training School of Anthony Robbins). He became certified as a life & wellness coach with Expert Rating. He began writing unique self-help motivational books and started his life coaching business. With the gained wisdom and the thirst to help others, his coaching business took off. He continues to be an Instagram Star and influencer as he shares his coaching tips for all, and advice through poetic thoughts and inspiring words to reflect on.
When the author is not writing or coaching clients, he enjoys spending time outdoors, hiking, working out, cooking, and reading. His favorite authors are Gary Zukav, Brené Brown, and Marianne Williamson, to name a few. Keep an eye on this author as his “Star is still Rising and Shining Bright.” Kaden resides San Deigo, CA.
The Past No Longer Exists, It’s Just A Thought
Today I’m so happy to be back home. I’ve been doing a lot of traveling lately and it’s just been a whirlwind of a year. I’ve literally flown so much overseas, more so than I ever have in my entire life. I’ve visited so many cool places from Italy, to France to Germany, to Dubai, and I just recently went to DC.
I planned a trip with my parents. It was a Christmas gift and it’s been so beautiful to be able to give gifts like that, like experiences. So, I sent my parents on this treasure hunt basically at Christmas. Where there are all these little notes all over the house, including one in the washing machine. It took a while to find that one, but it was really meaningful, and it ended with this cabinet that my grandfather made out of wood and it’s one of my mom’s most prized possessions and that was where the final clue was. There is a picture of my grandparents that led them to look inside that cabinet and they opened up a file that showed the Cherry Blossom Festival that was going on in DC a few years ago and then they found their hotel stay for this big trip.
And the second part of the surprise is my dad didn’t know that I was going to join my parents in DC to go and see all these amazing places. My dad and mom were eating at a restaurant at the hotel we were staying at and we just walked out to them and surprised them. And it was one of those things we’ll never forget. Another really cool thing about DC is all of the museums are free. So you can go to the Natural History Museum. You can go to the zoo. You can go to the Air and Space Museum, which I really loved and my dad really loved too. And you get to go to all these national monuments from the Washington Memorial to the Lincoln Memorial.
And I arranged with my congressman to have really good tours for all of us when we got there. So we got to see the White House. We got to go on a private tour of the capital. It was really, really out of this world. So, I want to talk about the past, and, specifically, the fact that the past no longer exists. It just exists in our minds right? There’s no real past going on. We just have the present moment. The past is just memories. It’s things we remember and things that we bring into the present moment that affect what’s going on in your life today.
The interesting thing about this is I was just with my parents, and my parents are a huge part of my past and for most people listening, that’s going to be you too, right? Our parents raised us with their beliefs, with their rules, with their ways of looking at the world, and not to get into politics, but my parents have different views than I do. Their views stem from their past, their background, how they were raised, their beliefs, the people they’re friends with, you know. So, our beliefs are shaped by our environment as well, but we choose them and we can choose which beliefs serve us, and we can choose to let go of the ones that don’t.
For a lot of people, especially people who are not really aware of this, they look to their past and they will find pieces of their past fragments if you will, and they will blame their current situation on that past. But we are adults, and we choose the baggage we take with us. It might not feel like it’s a choice, and we might not be consciously aware of it, but when we become conscious of it, we have power. Because we can choose not to think about that situation that happened or not to dwell on a time when we got it wrong and feel shame and guilt about it. We can let it go. We can let anything go and we don’t have to take those fragments from the past and cut ourselves over and over again on those shards from our past.
Every time we talk about a situation that wasn’t desirable, or a time when we got it wrong, or when someone cheated on us or someone betrayed us or someone abused us in some way. And I’m not saying like if it just happened a week ago, or two weeks ago, or a month ago, or even three months ago. I’m saying if this was years and years ago, if we bring it into the present moment, we relive it. To some degree, we are reliving it every time we tell that story, every time we dwell on it, every time we think on it, and every thought that we have is having an effect on us. So when we have a thought, it can cause us to feel a certain way, and then that feeling can cause us to behave a certain way. And if you notice really moody people, right, it’s because they have these negative thoughts in their heads become a loop, and then they feel a certain way and then they kind of treat people not so great because they’re kind of “moody”.
If we stop thinking about the things that happened in our past that weren’t ideal. Then we no longer bring it into the present moment. When we can wipe those thoughts from our head or replace those thoughts with a better narrative, something that feels empowering. And I know that this is probably sounding really simplistic. I know that this takes work, and I’ve done it. I’ve done this work. So I don’t want anyone to think that this is just like, “oh, just think a different thought. Like it’s so easy”. No, I’m not saying that it will take time. It takes repetition. It takes creating a habit, a new belief. But if you’ve had really challenging things in your past, then that means you’re very strong. It means you’re resilient. It means you’re a survivor And not only a survivor, you’re a thriver.
So do you see how just shifting that, from victim to victorious? Sometimes that’s a big jump to make, but we can. We can move ourselves closer and closer to that victorious feeling. So we could go from a victim to feeling really good about the fact that we survived that, and not only did we survive it, we learned a lot from it. And not only did we learn a lot, we became kind of an expert in that area of life. And we can help a lot of people with that, see how it’s moving us closer to feeling good about whatever happened in the past. Even if it wasn’t desirable. Because when we can take something really negative and use it to fuel ourselves and to help light other people up and help them find their way through this life, we get to feel good about it and we get to be a source of inspiration.
The most inspiring people to me, are the people who have gone through the most. I get so inspired when I hear a story of somebody who really struggled and then kicked a**. I was just watching something on Netflix where a woman lost her leg in a car accident and then she started doing these marathons that were six times longer than a normal marathon. And I just thought, this is incredible and she was doing it through the desert. She was just showing how far she could push herself and it was really inspiring to see, and no, I will not be running any crazy marathons! Like, that’s really not my thing but I really appreciate people who do.
Something I find really interesting too about the parent-child dynamic is, our parents often think our childhood was one way and we think it was a different way. But they’re literally just thoughts. So their collection of thoughts is different than my collection of thoughts. It doesn’t make their collection wrong, it doesn’t make mine wrong. But there are probably some that you know are a little sugar-coated or embellished and pushed a certain direction. For whatever reason, our minds just tend to do that.
But if you’ve ever even been in a relationship too, and you thought the relationship was going really well, and then all of a sudden, like, the person gets upset with you about something and then has evidence that, like, something they don’t like about you, right? It could be, “oh, you’re really messy”. And you’re like, “I’m not messy at all. I’m super clean, like you’re the messy one”. But then they’re like, “no, you left your dishes out that one day and you had your laundry on the floor and I had to, like, put it in the hamper”. Or, you know, they have all this evidence. You’re like, wow, they see me totally different, than I see myself. Interesting. And you can just take that in and you can learn from it and you can take in that feedback and work on yourself if you want to. But it’s just interesting to see that everybody has their own perception and perspective.
If you have siblings or you do this with your coworkers and you just ask them about their experience with the same environment and see what their experience is and how it differs from your own. Because we all pick up on different things. And our brains are super powerful, they can be used to find the negative in just about any situation like you could think about anyone or any situation and you could find the negative. Our brains are so good at spotting the negative and it’s kind of the default. It’s really easy for our brains to pick out what we don’t like about things. Like we’ll eat a sandwich and we’ll be like, oh, I didn’t like the pickle inside it or I didn’t like this, or I didn’t like that or the bread was too hard. Maybe everything else was wonderful inside that sandwich, but we just picked out the negative.
And it’s the same when we get feedback online, right? We could get a lot of really positive comments, but we’ll remember the negative a lot of times. The negative just has this power because our brains are looking for what’s wrong, oftentimes. But we can train the mind to look for what’s right. You know, when you get a thought in your head that is negative, maybe you don’t like your car. You can replace that thought with three positive things. I love that my car gets me where I need to go. I really like the color of my car. You know, my car smells really good because I just put a really good air freshener in it. So you can think of positive things to replace the negative thing with. But I really love my car actually. I just got it and it’s just so nice. I’m very thankful for it, but I’m just using this as an example. You know, it could be your house. It could be, you know, somebody you deal with at work. Maybe you can only see the negative in somebody, like a co-worker.
Start picking out the positive in that person because you’re going to start to train your brain to see what’s good, what’s right. And you’re going to see more opportunities and you’re going to have a higher vibration. People will react to you differently when you do this. I’m telling you, it’s like magic and you’re thinking positive thoughts about a person. There’s just an energy to that. They feel better in your presence and feel less judged. And it’s like, we all have body language. So if you’re thinking a negative thought, it’s very hard to cover that up with your body language. So if you’re thinking it… it’s showing. It could come out in your tone of voice, could come out in your eye contact. We don’t want that. We want to be positive. We want to really be loving. Because when we put love out there, that’s what we’re going to receive.
And what’s interesting about our bodies and the research that has come out through Joe Dispenza and a lot of other great researchers out there. They have shown that our minds are so powerful that they influence our body and our bodies don’t know the difference between thoughts and experience. So if we are thinking or visualizing something, our bodies are reacting. A good way of knowing this is to think about if you’ve ever seen a really scary movie. Your body tends to you jumped when things jumped out at you, Your palms were sweating, you know, you might have even been shaking a little bit, or your eyes were really wide. Your body was reacting to what it was thinking because you weren’t actually in that situation. You weren’t in danger and logically, you knew that it was on the screen and not in real life, but it was still affecting your body because you were thinking about it.
So our thoughts are affecting our bodies. So we want to think thoughts that will affect them positively. So if we do the opposite, we visualize our success and we visualize ourselves as confident and having all the things we want, we’re going to put on that energy. And then throughout our day, we’ll carry some of that energy throughout the day and it can be very powerful. When I first met one of my close friends, she was telling me about her husband cheating on her and she was saying it was so much emotion; I had literally just met her, so I didn’t know anything about the story. She was telling the story and she was tearing up and she just was feeling it so heavily. And I was consoling her and talking her through it. And at the end of the conversation, another one of her close friends came up and I was like, “oh it’s so horrible that she was cheated on.”
And he was like, that happened seven years ago. And I was just blown away because she was telling the story as though it had just happened. And he proceeded to tell me that when it happened, her body kind of shut down. She had to go to the hospital. She felt it so deeply that she actually physically shut down. And she was continuing to tell the story with so much emotion that you could feel it. I could feel it in my body and everything. And then when I found out it was seven years ago, I was like, what?
So it isn’t just like, “oh, like thoughts don’t matter that much” or “I don’t have to really monitor my thoughts”. No, you have to monitor your thoughts like your life depends on it because in certain cases it does. And if you want to have an abundant, amazing life, you have to change your thoughts. Now, I didn’t know this for the longest time. I didn’t know how important our thoughts are, but they literally create everything in our experience.
I’m going to go through this again- Our thoughts create our emotions, which influence our behaviors, which get us our results. And then the cycle continues. So if you have negative thoughts, and those negative thoughts give you horrible emotions, emotions that you really don’t want to have, and then you take actions from those negative emotions. Let’s say, like you’re really insecure, you’re nervous, you’re paranoid, all those types of things. You take poor actions. Maybe it’s at work, or maybe it’s in your relationship. Imagine having that fear and that anxiety and that worry, and then you take action.
You’re gonna repel people away from you, so you get those results, and then you maybe think that people just don’t like me, or I’m not good enough, or I’m not talented enough, or I’m not smart enough, or I’m not whatever enough. Or there’s something wrong with me. Imagine how that thought can change your entire life if you believe that something is wrong with you, like, inherently wrong with you. Like, I’m not talking just an imperfection. I’m talking like you deeply believe that you’re not good enough, you’re not worthy. If you believe that and you start to feel that emotion that leads to depression, that leads to deep uncertainty, that leads to a lot of pain, and a lot of sadness. And I’m telling you, I know this from personal experience. I have been there. It is really an awful feeling. But how amazing is it that we can change our thoughts and thus change how we feel, change how we act, how we show up in the world, and the results we get.
So just by having a good thought, the best thought you can possibly have. In many different areas of your life, it’s going to change everything dramatically. There was a time when I didn’t think so highly about myself, and that just got me terrible results, right? But then I started to think better thoughts about myself. I started to believe that I was worthy. I started to believe that I was good enough. I told myself I was enough. I love myself. I gave myself self-love, which I think is the cornerstone of a healthy, happy life.
You gotta get that muscle strong because once you do that then you’re gonna have more confidence and you’re gonna feel better. So put on some music that makes you feel powerful, work out, or move your body in ways that feel strong to you. Love yourself more. Treat yourself like a great friend. Practice being a good friend to yourself and as you do that, everything will start to change and you just keep repeating the pattern by picking even better thoughts.
A great way to really notice this is with finances. There were many years that I was dead broke. I made nothing. Literly was just so broke, just barely getting by. For years I did this and I thought it was hard to make money. I had these thoughts that you know, money doesn’t grow on trees, money doesn’t matter. Like I don’t do this for the money. All these thoughts that really negative. And it kept me broke. To get wealthy, you have to believe you’re worth it and that you don’t have to give it all away to be a good person. That’s the core belief.
So I’ve worked really hard on this and that’s why I’ve made a lot more money. You know your relationship with money based on how much you have. Right. So if you have a really healthy relationship with money, you probably have a lot of money in your life. And if you don’t have a healthy relationship, you don’t have much money in your life. You give it all away. You sabotage yourself. You don’t save. You don’t find ways to make more money. You don’t put yourself out there. You just kind of settle for what is, right? And that’s all based on thinking as well. The reason I bring up money on this topic is because you can set a number in your head that you want to reach. If you’re a coach or an entrepreneur or somebody who has a side hustle, even an Etsy account, you could set a number that you want to reach, right? And you could believe that you’re going to reach that, like. Yeah, I could make an extra 500 bucks this month.
Sure. I believe that. And if you believe that you can achieve that, right. And you might even make 700 and then the next month you can make it a little higher and a little higher and a little higher and a little higher and you’ll notice that maybe when you used to believe that making money is difficult. You’ll now start to think, oh, making money is easy, This is such a breeze. And then you’ll start to see more of it flow into your experience because you believe it. You have better thoughts that cause you to have better ideas as well, but they also give you better emotions and you feel really good, so you take better actions and you get better results. So it’s really that simple.
So whatever thoughts that we’re telling ourselves over and over, whatever that story is, that’s what we’re going to see in our lives. So if you’re saying something like “I never picked the right men”, that will be a self-fulfilling prophecy until you catch it and break that thought pattern and start to pick better thoughts. Now I’m not telling you just lie to yourself because if this is a long-held pattern and a belief then you want to ease out of it. You could just say, “I’m really enjoying the dating process. I love having fun with different people and getting to know them. I keep seeing good qualities in all the people I go out with” and do that thing we talked about earlier where you’re picking out the good, even if you see a negative, you replace it with three good things. If you’re doing that, then you can say these things and you can mean them.
And when you’re dating, I want you to remember that for most people who want a monogamous relationship, you’re looking for one person. So you don’t need everyone to be perfect and wonderful in it to be like fireworks. You’re looking for one person, so don’t make it so hard on yourself. Have fun with this. Enjoy the process and then when that person comes in, if you’ve had a rough time, it’s going to be even more meaningful. If we’ve gone through struggles in our lives, it makes it easier to really be thankful for the good when it flows in. If you have been thirsting for a long time and it’s been a drought, when that rain comes, you are gonna dance in it. You’re gonna just be so joyous in that rain. When we can carry that appreciation and gratitude through our lives without having to go through more negative experiences, that’s really, really wonderful.
So when we think about our thoughts, a lot of times it can be kind of like the movie Groundhog Day, which is a movie with Bill Murray where he wakes up every day and it’s the same day that he’s going through and he makes different decisions that affect that day, but it’s like every day is the same and our thoughts are like that. So if we continue to have the same thoughts, which most of our thoughts are the same from day-to-day, if we keep having those same thoughts, we’re gonna get similar results. And it’s going to feel like, oh, here’s the same old, same old, and if we’re having thoughts that attack our self-esteem, we want to address those right away because those ones have the biggest impact. Sometimes we don’t even know we’re doing it.
I find that most people when they stand in front of a mirror, they realize. What their mind is actually saying about them physically and it can be brutal. So I would recommend that to anybody. Stand in front of the mirror and just see what comes up in your mind, Stick through it, and then at the end after your mind has kind of gotten quiet, look into your eyes and love on yourself say, “I love you, I see you. You are worthy of love and I’m going to treat you better.” And then hopefully you’ve taken note of all those negative insults that you threw at yourself. I want you to replace them with positive ones. I want you to say nice things to yourself.
Whenever you catch yourself saying something not so nice and this will change your self-esteem. This will change the way you vibrate out there in the world. Because honestly, some of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen in my life, you know, have wrinkles all over, have white hair, in their 80s, 90s, and beyond. But they just have that energy, a vibration of beauty. And it’s, it’s intoxicating. I mean, I’ve seen men that are in their 70s, 80’s, bald, and they just smile and they light up the room. They’re so beautiful. That is beauty.
And we can redefine what beauty means. It doesn’t have to mean you’re a 20-year-old, you know and with a lot of my clients, this is something that they come to me with. They come to me wanting to be younger. This anti-aging industry is huge and it’s OK to put your best foot forward and to dress in a way that makes you feel confident, that’s wonderful. Or to, you know, do your hair makeup in a way that makes you feel good and to take good care of your skin and yourself. But there can be a time when it’s too much when it becomes an obsession.
And to be honest, if you are living into your 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s, 100, and beyond. Wow, what a gift to be here for all these years. What a gift and you can be beautiful at any age because beauty is not about looks. It’s really what’s going on within you because I’ve met many people with beautiful exteriors, but the energy was not the behavior was not right. I think we’ve all had those encounters. I know, from living in Los Angeles, I saw it a lot. And, you know, I just think it’s really important to remember what truly matters, which is who we are, our soul. You know, and to be honest, like eve that, even talking about like, you know, beautiful versus not or good person versus not, I mean really, it’s all perception. Maybe they were doing the best they could. And that’s a thought I think often, people are doing the best they can.
I don’t know what happened to them that day. Maybe they are behaving in a way that isn’t beautiful because they are hating on themselves. Or maybe someone hurt them. We are all trying to get our needs met and we all want love. You know, it’s not my place to judge. I’m here to love. In my opinion, that is the core reason I’m here. It doesn’t get any more simple than that. And so how can we do that with our thoughts? My perception of them is just a thought. We just choose better ones. We continue to improve them. We keep working on it. And let’s think about it on an even deeper level. You know criminals who get wrongly accused and incarcerated when they’re released. They could hold on to that anger and upset for years, for the life that was stolen from them.
Or they can choose to use that painful past to see the world in an even more vibrant way, and they can appreciate their freedom even more because of what they went through. There are of course, victims in this world, and every child who goes through some trauma is a victim, but it’s our choice in going forward as we grow up to remain a victim or grow through it and become victorious over it. Then we can help others who are current victims because we have left that pain in the past. This is not to say that we don’t feel what we’re feeling or give ourselves time to grieve a loss or heal a wound. I’m just talking about the times when we tell that old story like it’s still here with us.
Now I want to give you a tool that you can take with you, and it’s something I came up with when I was thinking about this podcast. And it’s called “Lawyer for Your Life”. Now, I want you to have fun with this, but I want you to argue that you had a horrible childhood, prosecution. So you’re going to prosecute everyone who made your childhood horrible, even if it’s not true. So just think that you are, you know, a lawyer and you just have to fight this case. Then after you’ve done that, I want you to argue that you had a wonderful life and an amazing childhood, defense. You’re going to defend every situation that was harmful to you, everything that you just listed as the prosecution. I want you to defend your case that you had this amazing life. All the things that you learned, all the things that you gained, the person you are today because you went through all of that. Build that strong defense, that’s a strong case.
So Who Will Win? You get to decide because you are the judge.
This can go with your relationships, with your work, with anything. You can put a case together about why this isn’t the right person, or this isn’t the right work, or you can put a case together–why it is what it is, given you, what you’ve learned from it, or even a breakup. You can go back and do a postmortem on a breakup. You can think of all the things that you gained from it, and you know, like ease off all the negative that you’ve probably thought about a lot of times. When you think about that ex or you think about that relationship. Think about all the things you gained from it. Think about what’s right about it.
And I’m going to give you one last tool because you all are so awesome and I just love this work so much.
So, the other day I was talking to a guy who had just turned 21. He was telling me about his birthday party. He went to a club with his friends and they were drinking and partying, and it was getting kind of late but he was still having so much fun and at one point some people from the club came up to him and they were escorting him through the club and he was like, “oh, I’m going to like a VIP room”. That’s going to be so cool and then he was like, “wait… why is this so cold?” They had kicked him out of the club. So we talked for a little bit and I told him about reframing and he was like, “okay, now I just got escorted out of the club. After a wonderful night partying with my friends until 1:30AM and I had the best birthday.” And he has a great story, a funny story to share for the rest of his life which is awesome.
So it just shows the power of reframing, right? You could say you got kicked out and feel really bad about it, or you could be like I got escorted out afterward. So, I got in my Uber and you know, got home and had a horrible hangover the next day -which was awesome because I earned it. So it just shows how you can reframe anything. Anything. Even something just funny and silly and simple, just have fun with it. Reframe something. Pick something in your life that wasn’t fun and reframe it in a way that makes it lighthearted fun or something that is just way more positive.
And some final things you can think about are what do you want to feel about your past? What do you want the thought of a past relationship to bring up for you? What do you want to think about your parents? What do you want to think about someone who hurt you?
When I heard Eckhart Tolle say “If her past were your past? Her pain. Your pain. Her level of consciousness. Your level of consciousness. You would think and act exactly as she does.” That quote was really transformative for me. I’m going to read it a different way just for the sake of taking it in. “If their past were your past. Their pain, Your pain. Their level of consciousness. Your level of consciousness. You would think and act exactly as they do.” My mind was blown when I heard that quote because I realized it could be applied to everyone. Everyone who had ever been in my life. Everyone who had ever hurt me. “If their past were your past and if their pain were your pain. If their level of consciousness was your level of consciousness, you would think and act exactly as they do.”
Really take that in. And if we have this level of consciousness, to be aware and to understand a quote like that? We are very fortunate because we understand our own power and we can choose to make our lives very harmonious instead of wreaking havoc and having a lot of chaos in our lives. And if we just look at others with a lens of love and realize the things that they’ve put into their mind for all these years that’s why they’re behaving this way. We are so fortunate that we know the truth and we can choose better thoughts that will create a completely different reality for ourselves and for everybody around us.
So have fun with this. Pick thoughts that feel really good, think them over and over, write them on post-it notes then put them in places you’re going to see them. Write them in a notebook and read them to yourself and just allow yourself to feel really good.
And I want to hear about your success stories with this, so E-mail me at Kaden@kadenjames.com … or let’s connect on social media and you may DM me or reach out to me in some way because I wanna hear all about these stories. I think it’ll be a lot of fun.
So, have a great day, and remember to do the things that light you up.!
Problem Gambling Awareness Month (PGAM) is a grassroots campaign that depends on the participation of NCPG state Affiliates, organizational and individual members, state health agencies, gambling companies, recovery groups, and a wide range of healthcare organizations and providers. Groups across America hold conferences, air Public Service Announcements, provide counselor training, host health screening days, run social media campaigns, and many other activities to increase public awareness of problem gambling and the availability of prevention, treatment, and recovery services.
The 2023 PGAM theme is “Celebrating 20 Years”#PGAM2023
The goals of this national campaign are:
To increase public awareness of problem gambling and the availability of prevention, treatment & recovery services.
To encourage healthcare providers to screen clients for problem gambling.
HELP BY STATE
The National Council on Problem Gambling has developed this list as a starting point for those seeking help or information about gambling problems. Problem gambling is a rare but chronic mental disorder and is treatable. But without help, a gambling problem may get worse.
The information compiled below by NCPG is intended to be a starting point for individuals to learn more about problem gambling — it is not a complete list of information or services. We encourage you to ask questions, gather information and research the type of help most appropriate for your situation.
As an active advocate and mentor of recovery from gambling addiction for 16 years, so, please feel free to reach out to me by EMAIL at: lyonmedia@aol.com – OR CALL the Hotline Below.
National Problem Gambling Helpline 1-800-522-4700 24/7 and 7 Days a Week…
“Surf through experiences and conditions by asking what is a greater expression of life in this area? Live in that question, and waves of insight will become more available to you.” ~Michael B. Beckwith
We are going through many challenges right now as the human race, and sometimes it feels like too much to bear. Obvious climate-change weather occurrences, and so much division, and hatred between factions.
In my meditation time, I ask myself “What is a greater expression of life in this area?” And what comes to me is that through what we don’t want, we are getting clearer on what we do. All of these are conditions and experiences that shall pass and are temporary.
What we can count on is Spirit or God, infinite, steady, and omnipresent.
I am one with this ‘Presence.’ I am one with ‘All That Is.’ I am love and harmony and unity. I am peace-filled. I am replete with gratitude for the wisdom imparted to me.
Coming in January 2023 — A Zoom Book Study facilitated by Deborah Perdue, 6 weeks starting Wed. Jan 4th, 3:30-5pm U.S. Pacific time. We will be studying Tara Brach’s powerful book True Refuge, Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart. We have some committed, wonderful folks who have registered and can accept a few more. Let me know if you are interested by Email info@graceofgratitude.com …
Remember to share these daily gratitude reflections with friends. I love to add new subscribers and share my thoughts of gratitude. I welcome emails and will reply to any and all. Thank you! Sign up to receive the daily reflections at info@graceofgratitude.com
Gratitude Reflections are sent out Monday-Friday, except for major holidays.
For me, one way it comes is through witnessing the supreme beauty of creation. I am inspired, in awe, in constant wonder, of all the magical goings-on abounding everywhere I look.
Inspiration also emergesthrough meditation and contemplation . . . where I am reminded what is true for me, and feel the joy it inspires: that we are all connected, that the power of love supersedes fear, and that to hurt anything hurts me.
I am inspired by many lit-up luminaries in this world, who walk their talk, and show me by who they are, how to live a good life of integrity.
How glad I am to let the world and its occupants, including the blessed animals, inspire me.
From Day 288, Daily Gratitude Reflections Vol. 2 Deborah Perdue’s New Book
I enjoy sharing some of my supportive friends and the resources they offer to help those who might be problem gamblers or may have a full-blown addiction to it.
My fine friends at GamTalk – https://www.gamtalk.org/ have many resources anyone can tap into to get help from gambling. Dr. Richard Wood is the founder and Ken L. is an administrator of this awesome website as they have given many a safe place and platform to share and give support to those looking to stop suffering in silence from this cunning and insidious disease.
I would encourage anyone who has a gambling problem to go join free and be with other like-minded people so you know you are NOT ALONE. I also try to share my thoughts on their community wall with empathy and inspiration to those who may be having a tough time trying to quit and how vital having an open willingness for CHANGE.
In order to change you much follow it up with ACTION. Willing to make changes within your actions is what will help you become BET FREE. Willing to change your addicted thinking, choices, bad habits, and behaviors that come with problem gambling.
It needs and takes action to work and you’ll begin a path of recovery that will be successful and gain a much better life. I’d like to share some anonymous voices so others can see just how difficult it is to change and stop gambling addictively.
Real Voices of Real People
Durr. posted: “We need to be able to survive a bad day. No matter how hard we try to live right, bad days will happen. It is wise to pray to be tough, fight through it, and believe that tomorrow will be better. When bad days happen get into your activities list and get active. Plan and prepare for war against this addiction. Have a journal and fill it with tips and articles about how to quit. Every day, add a bit more. Every day, study the key tips for you. Every day, do what you need to do to renew your mind and habits. It works.”
Pete E. posted: “New here and this day shall be known as day 1 for me…I have come to grips that I need help to stop gambling.”
Cindy R. posted: “My first post …I suppose my entry here will be quite usual. Anxiety way up, making deals with payments, and have noticed that when I’m chasing losses now for the last two months I’ve been noticeably hyper-frustrated when a scratch ticket doesn’t win.
Since I really need the win. Noticing this has prompted me to begin looking to stop or slow down. My mind is as tense as if I’ve Jenn up all night for New Year even with 5 hrs of sleep. Getting help locally is awkward since I’m a neighborhood professional. Thanks for letting me vent here…looking for a therapist whom I can trust locally here in Canada.“
Sally K. posted: “I’ve been gambling for over 12 years and it’s ruined my life. I have no hope for the future. It’s like I can’t feel anything unless I’m sitting in front of a slot machine. I’m scared to go to Gamblers Anonymous as I’m not a faith-based person. I want to find a support group; to be able to talk to and listen to other people like me. Does anyone have any recommendations on where to start?”
Kleaner31 posted: “I recently found out my 29-year-old son has a gambling problem. I’m looking for how I can help him the best.” Ken L. answered: “Hi Kleaner, The best way to help him is to suggest that he visit this site, find some counseling, and start attending GA meetings. And maybe suggest he turn his finances over to you until is finds solid recovery. I have included a link to Gam-Anon which is a Program for family and friends of the gambler. Wish you both well. https://www.gam-anon.org/meeting-directory
Dee M. posted: “Well, now, because of my undisciplined actions i.e. gambling every day, my car is being repossessed on July 8th unless I come up with the money, which I gambled away….I’m an idiot. I seriously have reached out to many agencies, but cannot find help with this. Unfortunately, I NEED my car for work, but I’m pretty much screwed.”Steve answered: “Sometimes churches have funds to help ask them for counseling and for them to take you and the payment to the bank with you.” (I ) Cat L. answered,“It is what happens when you continue to gamble and then chase your losses… You need to break the “cycle” and start also taking your financial inventory. Give your money and all cards, debit, and credit cards to your spouse or a trustworthy person to handle your money.There are many treatment options if you are ready for change.”
Jcp82 posted: “I’m so very happy I stumbled on this forum today. Day #2 of working to make a positive change in my life. It is amazing how (1) simple activity can take over a life. It hurts my insides that I cannot gamble today. But I have no choice but to push through. It will get easier I know, but wow. So happy I am here to read these stories. I am not alone in this and that is a good thing. Have a great day everyone!”
C Marie posted: “Day #3 Thanks everyone for your help. The suggested podcasts are really helping me. Little victories. Today will be a good day. If not, we will make it one. Take care out there guys!”
Cat Lyon – (Me) posted ( I wanted to share my recent amazing NEWS and Accomplishment) “Hello, Group and friends, Happy Belated Canada Day to those who live in Canada! I’m in the USA, and we are celebrating Independence Day tomorrow, but as I write this, I hear fireworks outside. I guess some wanted to start it EARLY… Awe, just the little things. I say this because I sure know I had a lot of crappy 4th of Julys when I was still deeply in my gambling addiction.
This brings me to Thanking Ken for the “Thoughts of the Day” today and tomorrow, depending on where you live. (what country) …As Ken shared, “Change is a part of the flow of life. Sometimes we’re frustrated because change seems slow in coming. Sometimes, too, we’re resistant to a change that seems to have been thrust upon us.”
For those who may be having a rough time, struggling to maintain recovery from this awful and insane addiction, CHANGE is a vital part of our humble beginnings within our recovery path and the willingness to make it.
To have a much better life for you, your spouses, your family, etc. CHANGE doesn’t have to be feared or scary. Wouldn’t it be great to have a life without this addiction dictating it? Or it sucking the life out of you. It is possible. I have been doing it BET FREE for over 15 years. I know it is possible. Was it a rocky road at first? Heck yes. But I truly was sick of being sick and tired.
It took me two failed (thank GOD) suicide attempts and two times through a crisis center and gambling recovery treatment program. No kidding. But? I NEVER GAVE UP. WHY? Because I knew I was living one bet away from death. True. I knew if stayed out there gambling I’m sure another suicide attempt would be looming and as they say, “third times a charm,” and I know I would not be here today if I kept gambling addictively. It is true that every 1 in 5 gamblers WILL try suicide. It’s a fact. And even though at that point I lost just about everything, almost my marriage, and my life, I was one HOT MESS!
Today I live a much better life than the one had before I became a gambling addict. I am very proud that I just completed and graduated from my Freedom Debit Relief program! I finally have paid off all the old debts and collections I had and it was a lot of $$$$$$… I feel so proud of myself for not only getting my financial inventory in order but being accountable for paying all those old debts off.
It IS an amazing feeling! So, never give up trying to stop if you have a gambling problem or it is a full-blown addiction. Your life is worth more than that. And you deserve to be happy and have peace in your life.
Our past doesn’t have to define us so don’t let it dictate YOUR future!
Break Free From Addicted Gambling
I think this gives some examples of how tough it can be to maintain recovery or just reach out for help and have a start somewhere and somehow. When you visit GamTalk’s website, I would also encourage you to read the “The Stories of Hope.”
A Great Resource for Those Living in Massachusetts
Here’s Scott’s story.
If you’ve ever been to Atlantic City, you know it’s an exciting place. High-rise hotels, famous nightclubs, and glitzy casinos line the boardwalk. As a young guy, Atlantic City had all the appeal of a fun spot to spend an evening and unwind.
At the casinos, these thrills were more enticing than I realized. That evening, I found myself glued to the gaming tables. I couldn’t get up and walk back to my room. I ended up gambling all night long.
When I visited Atlantic City, I’d been sober for about a year. Growing up, I had problems with drinking and drugs, but fortunately, the effects of these addictions hit me early and hard. I got into recovery programs and by all accounts, was doing well.
That night triggered another addiction that I’d fight for years: problem gambling.
Deep down, I knew that as a recovering alcoholic and drug user, finding and chasing other highs wasn’t a good idea. I swore to my girlfriend that I’d never gamble again.
Except I did. I started to chase, even sprint after the high of gambling. I started buying scratch tickets and visiting more casinos. And unlike my drinking or drug use, I didn’t seek recovery.
Several years later, I fell on tough times. That’s when my gambling got out of control. I didn’t have any close family or friends I could turn to, and instead, I turned to slot machines. I started going to casinos to play high-limit slot machines. Gambling became an escape and winning felt ecstatic. And like my night in Atlantic City, I found it harder and harder to walk away from the machines and the tables.
My life began to revolve around weekends at the casino. I drifted away from participating in 12-step recovery programs. I started spending money like it didn’t matter and racked up thousands of dollars in credit card debt. When I maxed out my credit cards, I sold personal possessions, trying to pay off the surging debts from each weekend’s worth of gambling. My relationships took a toll, too. I pushed many people away.
No wake-up call seemed to shake my habit. One day, I ended up hitting the slots and winning a huge jackpot but left the casino with only a few thousand in my pocket. Even refinancing my home to pay off my debts didn’t deter my gambling. The addiction had me by the throat, and I was powerless, unable to look past the upcoming weekend and my next bets.
The real jolt to the system was when I started thinking of doing something illegal to continue gambling. I realized I was helpless and hopeless. I was contemplating suicide.
Just 20 minutes later, one of my sisters called me. A friend of mine from one of the 12-step programs was worried about my wellbeing. He had called my family.
That was May 2008. I was in rough shape mentally and emotionally, but I got help. Through the Massachusetts Council on Gaming and Health, I found a counselor. I’ve been fortunate to find some really important people in my life and got back on track with the 12-step programs for my addictions.
Since then, gambling has been a monkey on my shoulder. I’ve stayed as vigilant around gambling as I need to be around drinking or drugs. From the high highs to the low lows, I didn’t want to look at my gambling honestly until I reached a point of sheer desperation. When I got honest with myself, it became a weight lifted off my shoulders. My advice? Help yourself before you bottom out!
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If you or a loved one needs help and you live in the MA., Call Council’s Live-Chat or call the GamLine at 1-800-GAM-1234, 24/7. For everyone in the United States, visit The National Council on Problem Gamblinglook up your State Here: https://www.ncpgambling.org/help-treatment/help-by-state/.
Self-Exclusion or self-banning yourself from gambling and casinos can be a tricky thing to do. There has been much controversy over it. So does it really work for the gambler to ban themselves from the temptation to try and stop one from gambling? Well, I can only speak for myself that it didn’t work. But I was far too deep into full-blown addicted gambling.
If we have a positive mindset and attitude about self-exclusion and try it when we’re beginning to feel like gambling is becoming a problem and interfering in our daily lives? Then for those who are aware and looking to curb or nix this habit before it does become a full-blown addiction, it just may work for them.
I began to think more about this after I read this article I’m going to share with you by the fine folks of The Massachusetts Council On Gaming & Health. It made me see a different side to self-exclusion. I hope you can learn a little more after you give it a read. ~Advocate, Catherine Lyon
For some casino patrons, Voluntary Self-Exclusions are the real home run.
For some casino patrons, ‘Voluntary Self-Exclusions’ is a real home run...
Knowing our limits is part of maintaining a safe, healthy lifestyle. It’s what naturally encourages our bodies and minds to crave breaks. Whether powering off our laptop after a few hours of work or pausing to stretch when we get a muscle cramp exercising, breaks help us reassess and recharge. Even our favorites on the Sox and Celtics take timeouts to breathe and strategize their next play.
You may not know that you can take breaks from gambling activities, too. With Massachusetts sports betting legalization emerging as a real possibility, more Bay Staters could be at risk of developing a gambling disorder. About two percent of the population has a gambling disorder today. And up to 488,000 adults in Massachusetts are at-risk gamblers, meaning they show an increasing preoccupation with gambling.
As Opening Day kicks off this week, these statistics should serve as a vital reminder to policymakers. The passage of sports betting legislation without robust consumer protections such as Voluntary Self-Exclusion (VSE) programs would prove to be a massive oversight and undermine our Commonwealth’s pro-public health reputation.
Gambling can be tough to see or sniff out, literally. Unlike some alcohol or drug use addictions, problem gambling or at-risk gambling can be easily concealed. However, keep a lookout for signs and symptoms. Perhaps you or someone you care about is placing higher bets to try to reach the same adrenaline rushes.
Others find themselves driving to the casino or instinctively pulling up a gambling app whenever they are down or stressed. Individuals are increasingly chasing sports betting thrills on flashy apps and websites. So be mindful of more-than-usual screen time. The sheer accessibility of sports betting poses concerns to public health — and a potentially greater need for self-exclusion programs.
Like anything in excess, gambling can wreak havoc on relationships, workplaces, finances, and your wellbeing. As a former competitive hockey player turned gaming services professional, I have seen countless sports bettors jeopardize their careers and families. And in working as a table games dealer for many years, I’ve seen what happens when gambling no longer feels like a game.
It isn’t only about the damage to your wallet. Even when they pay off their debts, individuals still have a gambling disorder. A break — sometimes for a year, sometimes for good — might be the best thing to do.
In my current role as a Senior GameSense Advisor, I have a unique opportunity to help patrons create limits around their gambling. Our team staffs info centers at the state casinos, educating patrons on responsible gambling. Conversations can range from understanding the odds in a game of craps to helping folks take a break and enroll in a Voluntary Self-Exclusion program.
By enrolling in VSE, participants voluntarily exclude themselves from the gaming floors of all Massachusetts casinos. Participants can choose how long they would like to exclude. And just like if Xander Bogaerts tried to belt a line drive between innings, any money wagered, lost, or won during VSE enrollment is forfeited and does not count. Like Bogaerts, you also get a coach. Trained staff, including GameSense Advisors like myself, conduct regular check-ins throughout the term and connect you to local resources.
Some patrons have shared that heading to a casino to enroll in a VSE poses too much of a temptation. That’s a valid point, and it’s one of the reasons why we created remote VSE enrollment, which is the first of its kind in the nation. Patrons can still self-exclude in person or through confidential, online platforms. The program has created hundreds of success stories: over 1,000 Bay Staters are enrolled in a VSE. This is solely because Massachusetts lawmakers prioritized public health in crafting the Expanded Gaming Act in 2011.
One of the Boston greats, Pedro Martinez, said, “If you’re healthy, you’re capable of doing everything.” VSEs serve as an innovative, critical resource and keep countless Bay Staters healthy and safe. As such, making sure that these resources are within reach for all should remain paramount in future sports gambling legislation.
The health of thousands of Bay Staters — and the health of gaming in Massachusetts — is at stake.
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Ken Averill is a Senior GameSense Advisor with the Massachusetts Gaming Commission and The Massachusetts Council on Gaming and Health. He has over 24 years of experience in the gaming industry and previously worked as a table games dealer and operations manager.
For gambling-related questions, chat with a member of the GameSense team 24/7 via LiveChat at MACGH.org by calling the GamLine at 1-800-GAM-1234.
Invitation to “America’s New Storm of Gambling Advertising: A Dangerous Threat to Public Health” panel discussion.
UPDATE: 02/05/22 ~ If you were unable to attend the event this past Wednesday, Feb. 2nd, 2022, you may now watch the video of what was discussed and much more!
If you weren’t able to attend, it’s a must-watch. Mark and Harry powerfully revealed the truth about what is really happening in our communities and across our country. After you watch it, I strongly urge you to share the video on your email list and your social media networks, inviting people to learn for themselves how serious the problem of predatory gambling has become.
I also strongly encourage you to share the video with every local, state, and federal official in your region, along with members of the local and state media.
As the Super Bowl draws closer and gambling companies further intensify their ongoing barrage of sports gambling ads targeted at the American people, I’m writing to invite you to join us on Wednesday, Feb. 2nd at 12pm Eastern time for a national video webinar on what you need to know about the massive wave of sports gambling advertising and promotions spreading across the U.S. ******* ******** *********
As the Super Bowl draws closer and gambling companies further intensify their ongoing barrage of sports gambling ads targeted at the American people, I’m writing to invite you to join us on Wednesday, Feb. 2nd at 12pm Eastern time for a national video webinar on what you need to know about the massive wave of sports gambling advertising and promotions spreading across the U.S.
The event is for reporters, opinion leaders, public officials, and members of our national network to learn why sports gambling advertising and promotions are a dangerous threat to public health and the urgency for Congress to act.
No More Gambling Advertising Platforms Used By Minors
About the Speakers:
Mark A. Gottlieb is the executive director of the Public Health Advocacy Institute at Northeastern University School of Law, where he is also a lecturer and clinical instructor. Mark has focused his research and advocacy on tobacco litigation as a public health strategy for most of his career. His article, “Casinos: An Addiction Industry in the Mold of Tobacco and Opioid Drugs” (co-authored with Daynard and Friedman) was recently published in the University of Illinois Law Review. You can read his article here.
Harry Levant is the Director of Education for Stop Predatory Gambling and a public health advocate from Philadelphia. A gambling addict in recovery who made his last bet on April 27, 2014, Levant is dedicating his professional work to helping people and families to overcome struggles with gambling addiction and other substance disorders. In his role as an advocate, Levant will graduate from La Salle University with a Master’s in Professional Counseling in May 2022.
He is a member of numerous professional organizations including Chi Sigma Iota National Honor Society for Counselors, the American Counseling Association, the Pennsylvania Counseling Association, and Lawyers Concerned for Lawyers of Pennsylvania. He also earned a law degree from Temple University Law School.
It is only because of the selfless financial generosity of our members that we are able to fund important events like this national webinar. If you support our mission to reveal the truth behind commercialized gambling operators to prevent more victims, please become a member of our national network by making a gift of any size you can afford today.
Thank you. Les Bernal Stop Predatory Gambling
Who We Are —
– A 501c3 non-profit based in Washington, DC, we are a national network of citizens and organizations across the U.S. revealing the truth behind gambling operators to prevent more victims.
– By choosing to support Stop Predatory Gambling today, you’re taking an active role in efforts to protect your community and its children from the poverty, addiction, and human suffering caused by the greed of big gambling operators.
I’m not sure how this season feels for you, but Thanksgiving and Christmas are two holiday sore spots for me. There’s so much emphasis on family and connection, and everything is supposed to be all warm and fuzzy. My family has never been close-knit, except for my mother and me. I’m single, and I don’t have any children. I’m also a Midwest native who lives in Los Angeles. Yet, when it comes to this time of year, I still find myself full of expectations.
My first Thanksgiving in recovery was difficult because I didn’t have any relatives to spend the day with like so many of my other friends. Sure, I got invites, but it’s just not the same when it’s someone else’s family dinner. Not having a husband or family to call my own, I just found myself missing my mother.
Makeshift Family
Due to my lack of familial ties, I made it a point to stay especially close to Alcoholics Anonymous. I had a close group of friends who were also newly sober, and we planned to stay connected during the Thanksgiving holiday. We conveniently also found two nearby main meeting halls that were having marathon meetings over the course of several days.
Consequently, Thanksgiving Day began with me and my cohorts visiting AA meeting halls in Altadena and Hawthorne. To my surprise, every group we visited was packed. People were coming in from all over, which was both exciting and inspirational to see.
When we returned to our home group, people were out back playing some board games. A gentleman named Craig, who has since passed to the big meeting in the sky, was in a corner barbequing. It definitely wasn’t your typical meeting atmosphere—there was a social aspect to it all that reminded me almost of a family reunion.
Boogie on Down
On Saturday night, there was even a dance known as the “crème de la crème.” The hall was transformed into a club with a DJ booth, dark lights, and a dance floor. Getting ready for it was as much fun as attending. I must have danced all night, which was weird in a sense. Rarely had I gone dancing—or did anything fun for that matter—that didn’t involve drinking, sprinkled in with some drugs here and there, or any gambling.
I won’t lie; I was shy at first. But once the first guy asked me to dance, all inhibition went out the window. Who knew I could have so much fun without alcohol or drugs? There was beautiful energy over the entire room as people danced, laughed, and let loose. All while being clean and sober.
Dancing and Fun!
A Celebration
The last day of the marathon ended with what’s called “the old-timer’s slot,” where people with at least 20 years of sobriety took turns sharing their recovery stories. The oldest person there had 50 years of sobriety under his belt. The stories made me cry, laugh and rejoice. It brought me back to a time when I used to be at home listening to my mom, aunts and uncles reminisce.
Once the old-timer slot ended, it was time for the countdown. The person with the most years of sobriety was asked to stand, and everyone clapped and cheered for them. And so, the countdown began. Then, every time a group stood up for the following year, there was a round of applause. The procession continued like falling dominoes.
Though I had a while to wait, I was so proud when my turn finally came around, and I got to stand up for five months. The excitement of the moment only made me look forward to the following year when I would get to stand again. By the time we got to the sober person for only a few hours, the room had exploded. It was awesome.
At the very end of the day, while sitting down to eat my meal at the potluck, a crucial fact occurred to me that I was missing all week long—I was finally home, and these people were the family I was looking for all along and never thought I’d find.
Post Courtesy of Marilyn Davis, Advocate, Author, & Writer
Books: The Way We’ve Always Learned
“I think books are like people, in the sense that they’ll turn up in your life when you most need them.” – Emma Thompson
I’m old enough to remember when books, either from a library or book store, and where how we escaped, found comfort, got an education, or discovered ways to improve our lives. Books bring the world to us.
Today, that world is smaller with online booksellers, reviewers, and sites dedicated to types of books. One of these is Shepherd.com. I enjoyed writing reviews on five books about addiction and recovery. Each of those books helped me see that addiction has common themes. Yet, each of the authors admitted their addictions and found recovery in different ways.
Easy Access to Information
It may just be me, but the first time I read Alcoholics Anonymous, or as we call it, The Big Book, I cried. There were so many passages that I could relate to in that first reading. I felt that the writers in 1939 were doing a “Letter to your future self – me.”
When we find a book that resonates with us, we cherish it. The second, third, fourth, and fifth times I read the book while in treatment, I was shocked at how much I’d missed in a previous reading. I got out my trusty highlighter and started marking practically every page. I realized that meant that eventually, I would highlight every passage, so I stopped that practice. That was 33 years ago.
Cherished Writing
I still have my original Big Book, tattered and worn with margin notes, highlighted passages, and phone numbers from people in treatment. It needs rebinding, but I’d lose those notes and numbers, and I don’t want to do that, so it stays together in its case when I’m not reading it.
I still read it; antiquated and stilted language doesn’t matter. That’s why there’s another book, a dictionary for the seldom-used words. These 100 men and women who wrote The Big Book were the founders and pioneers who admitted their problems and gave us solutions. We can’t ask for more than that in any book.
Inclusive Writing
When we read a book and see ourselves on the pages, we pay attention. Sure, the names, places, ages, or genders might differ, but it’s us. How does an author do that – by relating feelings and thoughts, which transcend ages, genders, races, and places.
I’ve gotten emails and messages from men who’ve read my book, Finding North: A Journey from Addict to Advocate, who’ve asked if we’re twins. Or the email from a twenty-year-old who could relate. Believe me, those are the best validation an author can get. To know that you’ve written an inclusive book.
Books Help Us Understand Ourselves
When I first got into recovery, I went weekly to the Unity Bookstore in Gainesville, GA. They had the largest selection on recovery, codependency, spirituality, and Native American beliefs. I’d “sacrifice” a steak to get a new book.
No, I’m not their spokesperson, nor do I get a commission for anything I’ve listed or from Thriftbooks; it’s about following through on Neil deGrasse Tyson’s second bit of advice, “For me, I am driven by two main philosophies: know more today about the world than I knew yesterday and lessen the suffering of others. You’d be surprised how far that gets you.”
Any of these will help you in your recovery and perhaps lessen your suffering. Plus buying a used book makes economic sense.
Today’s books differ only slightly from my original listing. Today, we’ve got more people writing about addiction and recovery who don’t necessarily work in the field. Some are famous, and coming out and stating that they are addicts and alcoholics is commendable.
Here’s a list of three I’ve read because I was a concert promotor and managed bands and maybe understand some of the temptations and availability of drugs backstage.
I believe in diaries and journals. They help us record our thoughts and feelings and can be a way to discover patterns in our lives. Here are two journals that work:
And when you’re ready to write your story, consider getting Memories into Memoir: The Mindsets and Mechanics Workbook to help you remember, reflect, and write an excellent memoir about addiction and recovery to help someone else.
Marilyn Loves Guest Post Submissions For Her Website!
About Marilyn L. Davis
Advocate, Marilyn L. Davis
Marilyn Davis is a Certified Addiction Recovery Empowerment Specialist who opened and operated an award-winning residential facility between 1990 and 2011, called North House. She also facilitated men’s, women’s, and HIV-positive groups.
She recently celebrated 32+ years of abstinence-based recovery.
Davis is the author of “Therapeutic Integrated Educational Recovery System.” In 2008, Brenau University created the Marilyn Davis Community Service Learning Award. This ongoing award honors individuals working in recovery and mental health. In 2010, Marilyn received the Liberty Bell award. This award is given to non-judges and attorneys for contributions to the criminal justice system and communities.
Before the Blogs and Book
Before finding recovery in 1988, Davis was a desperate woman on drugs, managing bands at night, giving up her children, having her house foreclosed, and running to Georgia. After an intervention by Brenau University, she attended two 12-Step meetings a day. A chance encounter with a 74-year old Native American named Gray Hawk showed her that healing would include meetings and Steps. He had searched for her and wanted her to open a house of healing for other women. This encounter with Gray Hawk helped her realize that opening North House was her purpose.
Davis is also Editor-in-Chief at twodropsofink.com, a literary blog, where she continues to encourage collaborative writing.
The site’s writers are poets, problem-solvers for writers, and bloggers. Prose and essays educate, entertain, and enchant readers with the written word. The writers represent different countries, viewpoints, and opinions from around the world.
If there is one topic I get a little passionate about, it is the topic of gambling and kids. Minors, those under the ages of 18.
Now, I am aware that all STATES have different gambling ages, most states the legal age is 21. There are a few like Oregon, where I used to live will let you gamble at age 18.
Here is my MAIN point, and why I wanted to share this special ‘Holiday Campaign’ and news by the National Council.
PARENTS NEED to understand you don’t buy or give Lottery Scratch Tickets to your children as a GIFT or Stocking Stuffer! Not only is it illegal? You are teaching your young kids to GAMBLE.
YES, I know, not everyone has or will have a problem with gambling, or when they get older. BUT? I feel if you start now and teach them to be responsible just as you council them about drugs, alcohol, or even smoking, you will help them in the long run.
Lottery tickets of any kind are not an appropriate thing to give to kids.
Let’s raise awareness together so we can save your kids from harm when they get older. If you know friends who do give Lottery Products to minors, let them know it can be as dangerous later on for them just as you talk and council your kids, again, about drugs and alcohol. Here are some of the warning signs of problem gambling below.
Article By The National Council on Problem Gambling
NEW NAME, NEW LOOK
FOR HOLIDAY 2021
Make a difference for your clients and customers – join your colleagues across the country and around the world in our responsible gambling campaign to raise awareness regarding the risks of underage lottery use. Lottery products are appropriate for gifting only to adults, from adults.
Research shows why: the earlier a person’s participation or even exposure to gambling in childhood, the more likely they are to develop gambling problems later in life. And gambling in childhood is frequently some kind of lottery product, given through lack of awareness by a well-meaning adult.
This public-private campaign was previously known as the Holiday Lottery Responsible Gambling Campaign. The name was changed in response to requests from lottery organizations and feedback from our global stakeholders.
The new name enables lotteries all over the world to participate. It avoids the word ‘holiday,’ which in many global cultures describes what American English-speakers might call ‘vacation.’ It provides flexibility to expand the responsible giving message for all the occasions where children and minor teens might receive lottery tickets as gifts throughout the year. And it is a short name, which is easier to use in social media and advertising.
Whether or not it is legal for minors to participate in lottery games in your area, a responsible gambling message is always appropriate. The campaign continues to be endorsed and receives support from the World Lottery Association (WLA), European Lotteries (EL), and the North American Association of State and Provincial Lotteries (NASPL).
(*The images provided are free to use without license or restrictions, but we ask that you sign up as a participant before downloading them.*)
100% of Canadian and U.S. lotteries participated again last year in the campaign along with numerous international lotteries, non-lottery organizations, and many NCPG members.
During December and the winter holidays season, participating lottery organizations may choose to engage in different levels of public engagement classified as Lottery level 1, 2 or 3. These levels are intended to assist lotteries in planning their participation as well as to provide metrics that can be used in acknowledgment programs by NCPG, NASPL, WLA, and other organizations. Non-lottery organizations are welcome to join the Campaign and are encouraged to partner with their state lottery (where applicable) to support this important message.
Participants are also encouraged to become NCPG members (either as individuals or organizations) in order to receive updates on the campaign and to broaden their knowledge in problem gambling and responsible gambling. As members, they may also nominate themselves or others for the annual NCPG National Award for this campaign.
The campaign is sponsored by NCPG and the International Centre for Youth Gambling Problems and High-Risk Behaviors at McGill University.
LET’S ALL BE MORE RESPONSIBLE THIS HOLIDAY GIFTING SEASON WITH LOTTERY PRODUCTS!
ABOUT THE NATIONAL COUNCIL ON PROBLEM GAMBLING
MISSION & VALUES
Purpose: To serve as the national advocate for programs and services to assist people and families affected by problem gambling.
Vision: To improve health and wellness by reducing the personal, social and economic costs of problem gambling.
Mission: To lead state and national stakeholders in the development of comprehensive policy and programs for all those affected by problem gambling.
CORE VALUES
Neutrality: We do not take a position for or against legalized gambling. We advocate solely for those affected by problem gambling.
Collaboration: We believe that our mission is best served by the collaborative action of a broad range of people and organizations.
Respect: We will treat all those affected by problem gambling and all stakeholders with respect.
Credibility: We will strive to be an objective, accurate and reliable source of information for all those concerned with problem gambling.
NCPG 2020 Statement:
Respect is one of our core values. Racism and bigotry are unacceptable. We stand united with Black communities throughout our country and share in their pain, anger and frustration. Recent events remind us of the need to address fundamental problems of systemic racial inequality.
As we deal with the devastating health and financial consequences of the COVID-19 pandemic, particularly on people with gambling problems, we are preparing new strategies to be of greater service to people of color. We will listen and reach out even more to our stakeholders of color, to learn how our services can better address their needs. We will strive to make our work more accessible, break down barriers and increase our advocacy. We will continue to emphasize our organization’s core values, and to treat all people with respect — with actions as well as words.
HISTORY
The organization was founded in 1972 by Msgr. Joseph A. Dunne and Dr. Robert Custer, among others. From the outset the Council established two principles that remain in effect today: that the organization would be the advocate for problem gamblers and their families, and that it would take no position for or against legalized gambling. This stance is encompassed today in our vision and mission statements above. A history of the NCPG from 1972 to 1985 by Msgr. Dunne was published in the Journal of Gambling Studies, Vol. 1, Issue 1.
NCPG was conceived as the national representative of the problem gambling field and is organized with 3 classes of members: state affiliate, corporate and individual. The NCPG concentrates efforts on the national level, while the state affiliates work at the state and local level.
Three years ago I lost a very dear friend who was an avid advocate and a big support to me. She was an advocate of mental health, addiction, a fellow author, and had spent many years in the Jacksonville, FL., men and women’s jails & correctional system as a “Licensed Clinical Social Worker/Psychotherapist.” Her name was Marilyn Fowler. She was an amazing woman, strong, smart as a whip, and bursting with caring for others.
Marilyn and I worked together since 2014 as I helped her promote her books. I learned so much from her and she always would tell me; “when I leave earth, just know you will have a powerful angel in heaven watching over you, that’s me!” I loved her to pieces! I had started a new blog here on WordPress for her to share many self-help posts and has left us a beautiful legacy of life advice.
“I’m a retired Licensed Clinical Social Worker/Psychotherapist. My professional experience includes Mental Health Team Leader, then Director of Mental Health Services in the Duval County Jail in Jacksonville, Florida; coordinating Mental Health Services in nursing homes, working on inpatient units, and in private practice for a number of years. I teach a class at the University of North Florida on The Influence of Childhood Messages on Adult Life, I belong to Chat Noir Writers Circle, and I write a self-help blog posts to help others live a better well balanced life!
My memoir, Silent Echoes, was published in 2010. My stories have appeared in several magazines and a book entitled When God Spoke To Me. I’m active in my church, and I believe that a sense of humor is a blessing to be used often. Life should be”…
How To Use Difficult Situations To Enrich Your Life Journey ~ By Marilyn Fowler
Imagine that when you wake up each morning a familiar feeling of dread reaches your mind, and your stomach immediately tightens with stress. You fold your hands over your chest and calm yourself enough to get up and go to a job where you have to face the monster who supervises you with criticism, insults, and anything his sick mind conjures up. You would have left long ago, but you love your work, and you keep thinking things will change. But they don’t. What would you do in such a situation?
On our journey through life, we each experience painful situations that hold us hostage with no visible way out. These situations can involve health, work, financial issues, damaging relationships, losses, various addictions, whatever causes us pain. We bring some on ourselves, and others invade our orderly world without explanation.
And we usually view each one as our all-powerful enemy. We may fight back, or leave the situation. Then another one is sure to come. And we move through life never really free to be who we are. Maybe we need to take a closer look and see what’s really happening.
“We are continually faced by great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems.” ~Lee Iacocca
Obstacles in your life are not enemies. They’re opportunities to learn, overcome, and grow into more of the person you’re meant to be. Without these opportunities, you may never realize the depth of how wonderful you are.
At times, the road is painful, but if you meet each encounter with faith and determination, life can be rewarding and meaningful.
Years ago I worked as a Mental Health Therapist in a Psychiatrist’s office, and I suffered the same experience as in my opening example. I awoke each morning with dread about going to work. I went to my Minister for help, and she carefully listened, then said, “This man is probably one of the most important teachers you will ever have. Pay attention, learn and grow, and you will be guided to the next plateau in your life.” She was right. I saw myself and my situation with new vision, and I finally left for a new rewarding position, as a wiser and happier me.
“If you can learn from the worst times of your life, you’ll be ready to go into the best times of your life.” ~Author Unknown
Methods For Change:
Meet each difficult situation as an opportunity with a willingness to learn and grow from it.
Analyze the situation and your response to it. You can learn a lot about yourself in the way you respond to a negative, even hurtful, situation in your life. The more you learn, the more powerful you become. And your situation’s power over you weakens. “Keep asking yourself: What am I supposed to learn from this?” ~ Unknown
Go within and examine your attitude and feelings, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Do you feel stressed with worry, fear, anxiety, sadness, anger, forsaken, etc.? How immersed are you in your feelings? How clear is your mind? Where is your focus…on the situation, your inner response, or both? Do you view the situation as more than you can handle? Can you call on your Higher Power for help? Question and learn. You’re stronger than you think. Uncover your strengths, and let them shine. Use denials and affirmations ie: “I deny that this situation has any power over me. I am strong and unbeatable.” This process will reinforce your power.
Create a plan to deal with your situation. Then choose techniques that would work best for you…confronting, accepting, or getting away from it. As you go along, monitor your situation and your response, and know you have a right to the life you want. And make it so. Each time you pass a hurdle, you can look back with a grateful heart to where you were, compared to where you are now.
And what you learn now will lift you to a higher place for future encounters.
Who was William Cowper? William was born 26 November 1731 (My Birthday Too) – and passed 25 April 1800) known as an English poet and hymnodist. One of the most popular poets of his time, Cowper changed the direction of 18th-century nature poetry by writing of everyday life and scenes of the English countryside. William was also considered one of the best letter writers in English, and some of his hymns, such as “God Moves in a Mysterious Way” and “Oh! For a Closer Walk with God,” have become part of the folk heritage of Protestant England.
Heal us, Emmanuel, here we are We wait to feel Thy touch; Deep wounded souls to Thee repair, And Savior, we are such.
Our faith is feeble, we confess We faintly trust Thy Word; But wilt Thou pity us the less? Be that far from Thee, Lord!
Remember him who once applied With trembling for relief “Lord, I believe,” with tears he cried; “O help my unbelief!”
She, too, who touched Thee in the press And healing virtue stole, Was answered, “Daughter, go in peace; Thy faith has made thee whole.”
Concealed amid the gathering throng, She would have shunned Thy view; And if her faith was firm and strong, Had strong misgivings too.
Like her, with hopes and fears we come To touch Thee if we may; O send us not despairing home; Send none unhealed away.
Poet and hymn writer William Cowper (1731-1800) was a man of deep longing that greatly affected his mind as well as his spirit. In his thirties, while battling some political factions in his work, he was afflicted with “madness” (as it was then called called) and admitted to Nathaniel Cotton’s Collegium Insanorum at St. Albans. He recovered and moved to the town of Olney in 1768 where he co-authored a book of hymns with the well-respected pastor and hymn-writer John Newton (who wrote “Amazing Grace”).
In 1773, Cowper became engaged to Mary Unwin, but he suffered another attack of madness. He had terrible nightmares, believing that God [had] rejected him. Cowper would never again enter a church or say a prayer. When he recovered his health, he kept busy by gardening, carpentry, and keeping animals. In spite of periods of acute depression, Cowper’s twenty-six years in Olney and later at Weston Underwood were marked by great achievement as poet, hymn-writer, and letter-writer.
Certainly, Cowper continued to fight back despair and may well have stepped aside from public prayer and worship, but the depth of his prayer life and relationship to God in Christ is abundantly evident in hymns that live on through the ages.
Which brings me back to the theme of longing. The longing expressed in this hymn, and also in Cowper’s life, is not evidence of a lack of faith. In fact, faith prompts us to recognize that all is not right within us, among us, or around us. Our faith, though feeble, keeps us crying out in prayer for our children who are hurting, for our bodies that need healing, for our world that is on the brink of collapse.
We come to God not only with “positive thoughts”, but with hopes and fears – hoping for the best, yet fearing the worst and humbly requesting that the Great Healer would touch us, would send not of us away unhealed.
“I am a man with an unquiet mind who delights in the One who delights in me.”
Tony Roberts is a graduate of Hanover College (Bachelor of Arts; English and theology), and Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary (Master of Divinity). He served as pastor for churches in Illinois, Pennsylvania, and New York, while battling bipolar disorder. He is the author of Delight in Disorder: Ministry, Madness, Mission and is the founder and Chief Shepherd of Delight in Disorder Ministries. These ministries include A Way With Words publishing, Revealing Voices podcast, and Faithful Friends mental health support group.
Tony is available to virtually consult ministry leaders on issues of faith and mental illness. You may reach out to him on the contact page or by email: tony@delightindisorder.org
Ever wonder what happens in the mind of Stephen King, or Stanley Kubrick? Or the thoughts in the mind of a serial killer? These are areas that most people would never venture into. It’s too scary. It’s too dangerous. But danger is in the eye of the beholder. It’s a reflection of our life experience, individual biases and perception. But as we all remain indoors, the confines of our own minds can be the greatest danger.
As people, our outward actions toward the world reflect our own mindset, individual biases, and our outlook on the world. If that outlook is positive, we tend to see the world in a positive light and consequently treat people and situations with that positivity. The converse is also true. If, because of our life experience or chemical imbalance, we have a negative or pessimistic world view, we view the world through that lens. It’s how we think, act, and speak. It attracts or detracts others to or from us. How do mental disorders alter that world view?
~Gravitate Online (Dot Com)
The Different Mental Disorders
For individuals dealing with depression or bipolar disorder, the mind can be a very scary place. Many people are undiagnosed with depression or anxiety. In the U.S. two-thirds of all cases of depression are undiagnosed. That means that they are not getting the proper help or medication to help them see the world without a dark shroud. Through their prism, they see the world in a dark, negative and suspicious way when in reality may not be the case.
Unfortunately, this mental strife can sometimes lead to drug abuse and addiction. Teenagers and young adults are especially susceptible to this unfortunate reality which is why proper mental health resources in their in-person or online education are imperative.
There are more types of depression than most people realize. According to https://www.healthline.com/, these are some of the different depressive disorders:
Persistent depressive disorder
This is chronic low-level depression less severe than major depression and lasts two years or longer. This is accompanied by constant feelings of deep and dark sadness and hopelessness, as well as symptoms like indecisiveness, low energy and fatigue.
At times, this depression is spurred by aging. When family is out of the house, and estate planning decisions are to be made, it can have an effect on an individual’s sense of longevity. This, of course, is all part of a mental disorder that can have quite an effect on an individual’s day-to-day.
Bipolar disorder
Another type of depression is bipolar disorder or manic-depressive disorder. It involves the episode of a manic, a heightened state of being or over-energized mood. These episodes may be followed by episodes of dark deep depression. Huge swings from high to low and sometimes back again. It is the very manic highs paired with the low depressive state that determines the type of bipolar disorder is diagnosed.
Postpartum depression
As much as 80% of new mothers experience the “baby blues” following delivery. Symptoms include sadness, mood swings, depression, withdrawal, lack of appetite, and negative thoughts. According to the American Psychological Association, about 10 to 15 percent of U.S. women have a depressive episode within three months of childbirth. and fatigue and typically pass within a week or two.
This is caused by the fluctuation of hormones following childbirth, combined with lack of sleep, and the stresses of caring for an infant. If these symptoms stay longer than a couple weeks and escalate in severity, it may be a hint of a deeper issue.
Seasonal depression
Many experience feelings of depression when seasons change. This is known as seasonal affective disorder. Up to 5% of the U.S. population (16,500,000) experience seasonal depression every year. Seasonal affective disorder is typically initiated at the beginning of autumn and lasts throughout the winter, during the dark and cold months of the year.
Psychotic depression
If any of these depressive situations are accompanied by paranoia, hallucinations or delusions, it is an indication of a major issue known as psychotic depression. This condition is rare. A quarter of patients admitted to a hospital due to depression actually have psychotic depression. The extreme cases are incapacitated and may need to be admitted to long-term hospitalization.
Natural treatments
Many depression diagnoses are tied to an actual chemical imbalance in the brain and must be managed with medication. Some less severe conditions may be managed, at least in part, through more natural means.
These include the following: Physical exercise. The endorphins released in the brain during physical exercise can have long term positive benefits for depression.
Healthy diet. Eating fresh, clean, healthy food can boost positive vibes in the body and can be a helpful step in battling depression.
Good sleep. The power of good sleep is beneficial for all people, especially those with depression. Supplements. Natural remedies like fish oils and folic acid have been known to help individuals with depression. However, when using natural supplements check with your physician.
Positive mental thoughts
Fighting depression can be hard work. A lot of the work is mental, challenging your negative self-talk and changing how you think. Individuals with depression leap to the worst possible conclusions in many scenarios. Challenging those conclusions and replacing them with positive ones can help make depression just a little brighter.
Positive self-thoughts maybe act as the light switch that transforms a person’s negative outlook from continuous darkness into a much brighter view of reality. This can lead to a happier and more rewarding life.
Medications Many Americans that suffer some form of depression, live perfectly normal and healthy lives with the help from the advances in pharmaceuticals. Working with a doctor to find the proper medication and dosage can change the life of an individual with depression.
We all strive to make the world a better place. But for some, this is more difficult because of internal personal turmoil. For people to treat others in a way that makes the world a better place, they need to feel that way about themselves. Helping those with a chemical imbalance to see the world through a brighter prism has exponential benefits to society. So, never be afraid to explore all your options.
“By small means, great things are possible.” ~Catherine Lyon, Advocate
Visit my friends of SAMHSA for help and options for treatment, information, and much more!
The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) is the agency within the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) that leads public health efforts to advance the behavioral health of the nation and to improve the lives of individuals living with mental and substance use disorders, and their families.
Vision
To provide leadership and resources – programs, policies, information and data, funding, and personnel – advance mental and substance use disorder prevention, treatment, and recovery services in order to improve individual, community, and public health.
Mission
SAMHSA’s mission is to reduce the impact of substance abuse and mental illness on America’s communities.
Last Updated
Last Updated: 05/05/2021
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Find Help and Treatment
The National Helpline provides 24-hour free and confidential referrals and information about mental and/or substance use disorders, prevention, treatment, and recovery in English and Spanish.
WELCOME RECOVERY FRIENDS, WARRIORS, and New Visitors,
What an exciting week I have had! My book marketing is picking up again, and I have met two new women I’ll be mentoring with gambling problems. God is good! It kills me to know so many people are suffering in silence from problem gambling or with a full-blown addiction to it.
So, a few weeks ago, I was honored with a Facebook messenger from a guy I will call a new friend and supporter. I had seen him a few times while my husband and I watch MSNBC on cable. So when I noticed the Facebook message from an investigative news reporter, Scott MacFarlane? I thought someone was playing a JOKE on me. (lol).
It was him! I think my long-time friend Keith Whyte, the head director of The National Council on Problem Gambling, is located in Washington, D.C., where his video zoom interview was done. Make sure you give the full story below a read, as it is very informative.
I know Scott and his I-team work hard to bring this information to light. We all know that problem gambling is still a hush, hush problem, and we need to continue shining a bright light to bring it out of the dark! So I thank Scott for the opportunity to share some of my experiences in this video and story. ~Advocate, Catherine Townsend-Lyon
Maryland Casinos See Jump in Voluntarily Banned Gamblers Returning
The number of problem gamblers caught violating their voluntary bans from Maryland casinos doubled in March, according to a review by the News4 I-Team.
The loosening of public health restrictions has helped Maryland casinos rebound from some financial losses during the pandemic, but the easing of restrictions has also coincided with a sharp increase in violations by gamblers who have voluntarily banned themselves from casinos.
When Maryland legalized and approved regulations for casinos nearly a decade ago, the state created a “voluntary exclusion” program. Problem gamblers can voluntarily enroll in the program, which the state calls a “self-help tool” to assist them combat the addiction.
Individuals in the Voluntary Exclusion Program who return to casinos receive a trespassing citation from local law enforcement, not for punitive purposes, but as a means to encourage them to seek (diversion),” the Maryland Lottery and Gaming Control Agency said.
Winnings can also be seized from a gambler who is caught violating the voluntary exclusion program when he or she is removed from a casino. That money goes into the Maryland Problem Gambling Fund.
Enrollment in the program has grown steadily since 2013, according to state records reviewed by the I-Team. But violations spiked suddenly in March, as public health restrictions were loosened in the state. The number of people caught violating their voluntary bans nearly doubled to approximately 70 in March. The number was sharply higher than February and much higher than pre-pandemic levels in early 2020, the I-Team found.
Image Courtesy of USA Today
“They have serious and uncontrollable urges to gamble that they’ve suppressed when the casinos have been closed,” said Keith Whyte of the National Council on Problem Gambling.
“Now that casinos are reopening, it’s not surprising you’re seeing this increase in violations,” Whyte said.
The I-Team checked with several states that operate or monitor casino “self-exclusion” programs. New York and Michigan gaming agencies both declined I-Team requests to release figures on violations, instead requiring formal Freedom of Information Act requests, which remain pending.
Pennsylvania, which is home to multiple major casinos, released its numbers of voluntary-exclusion violations to the I-Team. The data showed a sharp increase as pandemic health restrictions were eased. Pennsylvania reported approximately 370 problem gambler “self-ban” violations between January and March 2021, up from nearly 155 violations between January and March 2020.
“The only way to ensure these gamblers stay out of casinos is for them to get treatment for their gambling problem,” Whyte said. “Self-exclusion is not addressing the root cause.”
The American Gaming Association said U.S. casinos use technology to help enforce voluntary exclusion programs. The organization also credits MGM National Harbor casino in Prince George’s County with regularly checking IDs of patrons as they enter.
“The truth is there are 3 percent of the population that take this a little bit too seriously and need help and need interventions,” American Gaming Association spokesman Casey Clark said.
“There are important programs like self-exclusion and the work that the National Center on Problem Gambling and other entities do to help provide the right level of support for folks who aren’t able to enjoy it as a form of entertainment anymore,” Clark said.
Sample of a Self-Exclusion Form State of Maryland
Catherine Lyon, a recovering problem gambler who helps counsel others, said voluntary-exclusions lists are often ineffective. Lyon said she enrolled in a “self-ban” list more than 14 years ago from casinos in Oregon as her addiction spiraled.
“Within a month-and-a-half, I was doing anything I can to get in there,” she said.
She said she wore wigs, sunglasses and other disguises to evade detection and was never caught.
Lyon said problem gambling can lead to desperate decisions and suicidal thoughts.
“It’s very financially devastating,” she said. “I think that the financial part is where they, a lot of people, lose hope. They don’t think they can dig themselves out.”
Lyon said problem gamblers must supplement their voluntary exclusions with a treatment program or other efforts to combat the addiction.
Howard Riback, a recovering problem gambler and popular radio host and motivational speaker in Canada, said he anticipated a surge in violations by problem gamblers.
“I am not surprised at all,” Riback said. “People are walking around more depressed, more time on their hands; zombie-like people don’t know what’s going to be tomorrow, let alone next week.”
Riback said although problem gamblers should be congratulated for enrolling in voluntary exclusion programs, they must also seek out treatment and therapy.
“I’m proud that I was able to end that horrific part of my life, but until the day I die, those scars will be with me,” Riback said. “And make no mistake, the (scars) are not going anywhere. They’re memories with every passing day.”
Whyte, the head of the National Council on Problem Gambling, said casinos nationwide could more effectively police for gamblers who have voluntarily banned themselves.
“The casino has a wealth of systems to track players, but it always seems to fail when it comes to tracking those who self-exclude,” said Whyte.
But the Maryland Lottery and Gaming Control Agency said casinos are effective in enforcing the program.
“The Maryland Lottery and Gaming Control Agency has issued a ‘notice of regulatory violation’ to various casinos for instances when an individual enrolled in the voluntary exclusion program was permitted to gamble or obtain a cash advance,” the agency said. “These are infrequent events, and the casinos are doing an effective job monitoring play by excluded players — both by self-reporting voluntary exclusion program violators to the (agency) each month and also by taking appropriate action against voluntary exclusion violators. No financial penalties have been assessed.”
More information can be found at 1-800-GAMBLER or by visiting mdgamblinghelp.org. Or The National Hotline For Problem Gambling – 1-800-522-4700
Reported by Scott MacFarlane, produced by Rick Yarborough, and shot and edited by Steve Jones and Jeff Piper.
I am so excited to be sharing an amazing new podcast episode from my friends of The Carlos Vieira Foundation and The Knockin’ Doorz Down Podcast: https://www.kddmediacompany.com/ with hosts Jason La Chance and Mikey Nawrocki and the crew. I am honored and blessed to know these guys who also support my recovery from gambling addiction. We know any addiction does not DISCRIMINATE on who it touches.
Even though KDD isn’t a podcast for addiction, it is a podcast that Celebrates people from all walks of life and celeb’s who have experienced challenging times in their lives and how they were able to break through and live a purposeful life inspiring others to be their best selves. If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, mental health, or other areas of trauma, you’re not alone. Hear how those that have been there, broken through and started Knockin’ Doorz Down.
I had the chance to share my story with Jason and Mikey a month or so ago as part of my scheduled events for “March Problem Gambling Awareness Month.” I sure did appreciate their willingness and BALLS to do so since gambling addiction still has so much stigma around this disease.
Now, Randy and I have been friends for several years. He is not only an inspirer and mentor of mine, but he keeps CAT out of trouble! LOL. Look, sometimes your friends have to call you out on your SHIT, and Randy does and that’s a REAL Friend in my opinion.
Here is a little more of Randy Grimes backstory courtesy of KDD Media and I know you will all enjoy watching this episode! At the bottom I’ll share some links where you can show your support for the foundations of Randy Grimes and KDD Media!
Pro Athletes in Recovery is the organization Randy founded to help other athletes like him who struggled to find the right resources.
Pro Athletes in Recovery strives to be a central place for athletes specifically, but reaches out to anyone who is struggling to overcome abuse of drugs, alcohol, or other substances. Helping athletes overcome addiction and supporting one another is their mission.
“The last two years of my career, I played in a complete blackout. Throughout my NFL career I was taking so much medication to get through each game that most of the time I didn’t even remember being out on the field. We get injured. We get treated. We keep playing. We get addicted. And if we’re lucky, we live to tell the story.”
As a kid, Randy Grimes grew up in Waco, Texas. Football was part of everyday life in his hometown, there was a lot of pride in local sports. Everything in his family focused around football, with loving parents and no addiction in his immediate family. It always came easy for Randy, getting a scholarship for basically anywhere he wanted to go.
Next was college, where he chose Baylor as his alma mater. They won the Southwest Conference, Peach Bowl & more. He met his wife at college, at this point he was still playing football non-stop, but yet no drinking or any drugs at this time in his life.
In his professional career, football turned into a job. The skill level increased dramatically in the NFL. He first signed with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers as a second-round draft pick. One of the main unspoken rules of the game was to do anything necessary to get back out on the field. That turned into taking handfuls of pain pills at practice, eventually turning into a full-blown addiction. He was also taking handfuls of Benzo’s at night, to make him sleep.
In the late 80’s he would be in the training gym and the doctor would come by each players’ spot, offer them whatever pills they wanted, followed up with 2 beers. This was the norm, so “why rock the boat” was the mentality in the locker room. He talked about “doctor shopping” as a professional athlete, basically giving him a blank check for whatever drugs he needed. He would use multiple prescriptions from multiple doctors to feed his addiction.
His prescription medication use eventually started to get out of control. No one would question why he was slurring his speech, showing up late, and nodding off during meetings. He was still doing his job on the field, so no one thought anything was out of the ordinary.
One day, after shoulder surgery in the off-season, Randy had a seizure while on a beach. He was put in the hospital, and they couldn’t find the reason for it. He did his own research, and it turned out it was linked to the Benzo’s he was taking to go to sleep. He knew he had a problem, but didn’t know how to deal with it. His professional career ended in ’92 and was an unexpected and abrupt end to what he thought was going to be a lifetime career. This compounded his addiction dramatically throughout the next decade.
He didn’t really fully deal with this issue until 18 years later, in 2009. His wife moved out, his kids couldn’t stand him and was barred from seeing his newly born grandchild, because of his addiction. He was sleeping on the floor of his vacant house with no utilities, no job, no car, no money. This was the rock bottom that he built back up from. He got into 90-day treatment on September 22nd, 2009.
Since then, he has focused on getting his story out there in hopes of changing other people’s lives for the better. Back when Randy was active in the NFL, there were no resources for addiction and treatment. Because of this, Randy founded Athletes in Recovery, which focuses on other professional athletes that are struggling through the same things. Even through all the hardships, problems, and major championships during his stint in the NFL, tackling recovery was the toughest battle of his life….
And we wrap up with some NFL talk and random questions.
This is Randy Grimes in his own words on Knockin’ Doorz Down.
Please visit and support these amazing causes and foundations. They can not help others without support.
The Carlos Vieira Foundation and 51fifty Gives Back!
The Carlos Vieira Foundation was founded by local businessman and race car driver, Carlos Vieira. In 2007, several race teams were approached to participate in a coin drive to raise money for Valley Children’s Hospital. Carlos Vieira’s race team, Team 51FIFTY, raised the most money for the hospital. In doing so, they recognized their ability and desire to continue raising money for good causes and to make a difference in the local community.
The Carlos Vieira Foundation is a 501(c)(3) charitable organization that focuses on the following three campaigns: Race for Autism, Race 2B Drug-Free, and Race to End the Stigma. CVF was built on one man’s dream of helping youth within our local communities. Through local support, CVF is able to assist youth across twenty-one counties within California’s central valley. Our vision is for all youth in our local communities to have the resources they need to succeed and live a happy, fulfilling life.
The National Council on Problem Gambling (NCPG) and other sources note the following statistics. 15 percent of Americans gamble at least once per week. Approximately two to three percent of Americans meet the criteria for problem gambling. That’s around 6 million adults and about a half million teens.
Courtesy of The National Council on Problem Gambling
The National Council on Problem Gambling (NCPG) and other sources note the following statistics.
• 15 percent of Americans gamble at least once per week.
• Approximately two to three percent of Americans meet the criteria for problem gambling. That’s around 6 million adults and about a half million teens.
• Youth risk developing a gambling problem at a rate of about two to three times that of adults, and approximately 6 percent of college students in America have a gambling problem.
• About 40 percent of people with a gambling problem started gambling before the age of 17.
• Nevada has the highest prevalence of problem gambling in the country, at about 6.4 percent.
Effects of Problem Gambling
• There are an array of harmful effects arising from problem gambling, including:
• NCPG notes the annual cost associated with gambling (crime, addiction, and bankruptcy) is $17 billion.
• Approximately 76 percent of problem gamblers are likely to have a major depressive disorder, according to the NCPG.
• The NPCG also says children of problem gamblers are at higher risk for a number of behaviors including problem gambling, tobacco use, and drug use.
• Oregon Problem Gambling Resource states that about 10 to 17 percent of children of problem gamblers and about 25 to 50 percent of spouses of problem gamblers have been abused.
• Georgia State University (GSU) estimates that about 50 percent of problem gamblers commit crimes, and about 2/3 of those crimes were directly related to the gambling.
• GSU also notes that 73 percent of people who are incarcerated are identified as problem gamblers.
• An Australian study found that one in five suicidal patients had a gambling problem.
WHAT IS PROBLEM GAMBLING?
Gambling addiction—also known aspathological gambling, compulsive gambling or gambling disorder—is an impulse-control disorder. If you’re a compulsive gambler, you can’t control the impulse to gamble, even when it has negative consequences for you or your loved ones. You’ll gamble whether you’re up or down, broke or flush, happy or depressed, and you’ll keep gambling regardless of the consequences—even when you know that the odds are against you or you can’t afford to lose.
Of course, you can also have a gambling problem without being totally out of control. Problem gambling is any gambling behavior that disrupts your life. If you’re preoccupied with gambling, spending more and more time and money on it, chasing losses, or gambling despite serious consequences in your life, you have a gambling problem.
A gambling addiction or problem is often associated with other behavior or mood disorders. Many problem gamblers also suffer with substance abuse issues, unmanaged ADHD, stress, depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder. To overcome your gambling problems, you’ll also need to address these and any other underlying causes as well. The first step is to separate the myths from the facts and what are the implications?
The Mayo Clinic identifies the following risk factors for developing a gambling problem.
• Behavior or mood disorders
• Age – the problem develops more frequently in young people
• Family influence – whether parents and other close adults were gamblers
• Personality characteristics such as high level of being competitive, or easily bored
Online gambling casinos earned $29.3 billion in 2010, an increase of 12 percent. Morgan-Stanley projects that online gaming in the United States will be worth $9.3 billion by 2020. Currently, some states allow online gaming, including Nevada, New Jersey, and Delaware.
COLLEGE STUDENTS AND ONLINE GAMBLING
The fastest growing segment of the population involved in online gambling are college students. A University of Connecticut study showed:
• 23 percent of college students had gambled online
• 6.3 percent did so weekly
• In the group that gambled frequently online, 61 percent were pathological gamblers.
• In comparison, only 5 percent of non-internet gamblers were considered to have a gambling problem.
Another report on online gambling noted that the easy accessibility and frequency of play of online gambling present a significant risk of problem gambling.
OTHER INTERNET GAMBLING STATISTICS
Other statistics about online problem gambling include:
• A 2013 Australian survey showed 30 percent of online gamblers were at risk of problem gambling. Only 15 percent of offline gamblers risked developing a problem.
• BBC reports a rise in problem gambling in the 18 to 35 year old demographic in 2010, 2011, and 2012.
• Another report links smartphone gaming to an increase in problem gambling.
You can RISE above gambling and other addictions!
Some of the life’s greatest milestones are threatened by problem gambling and other addictive behaviors. Addiction affects not only the addicted person, but the entire family and can cause a tremendous amount of wreckage and problems in all areas of life for everyone in the family.
RISE believes in the power of family recovery, and is passionate about providing help for both the individual and the family members. We aim to provide compassionate quality treatment for you and your loved ones on the journey to recovery and healing. Recovery starts with you. Rise has great resouces too!
Here are just of few of the resources that can STOP GAMBLING Your Life Away!
Now that Super Bowl LV is upon us, my friends of “Know The Odds” shares some sound advice in this guest post. Do you plan on betting on the Super Bowl?
Please, do it responsibly. If you think a friend or loved is having gambling problems? There is hope and help at the bottom of this guest post … Catherine Lyon, Advocate
Super Bowl media attention is everywhere. You can hear about it on the news, on sports stations, in the newspapers and in every office we work in. Many offices have square charts in the back room where employees can participate in gambling on who they believe would win or the points or on how long the national anthem will last or anything else. Some people literally gamble on every aspect of the event.
If an individual, or groups of individuals, are so focused on gambling on every part of the Super Bowl event, are they really enjoying the game or are they hunting for a “high?” And if they’re only hunting for the high, what about their careers? What about loved ones (family children, etc.)? If the individual is so hyper focused on gambling rather than enjoying the game, it seems that this becomes the focus and takes away from the social aspects of enjoying a sporting event with loved ones.
The Effects of Problem Gambling
For people struggling with problem gambling, this might be their story. There are many people across New York State who experience a slew of problems associated with their gambling behavior. Some of these problems can be damaged relationships with a spouse and/or children, conflicts at work, and mental health issues like depression and anxiety. Gambling may have even turned into an addiction (i.e., gambling disorder).
For people in recovery, the Super Bowl may be a huge trigger to start gambling again. It may be difficult to avoid talking about the Super Bowl, hearing people talk about betting on the Super Bowl, and feeling the urge to resort to old habits and place a bet of some type on this event. The Super Bowl may trigger a relapse.
Families Can Take Action
Families and loved ones of someone struggling with a gambling problem, or of someone in recovery from problem gambling may face similar obstacles to support their loved one who is struggling with problem gambling. Similarly, they can be helpful and supportive during this time of year.
Have a conversation
Having a conversation is important for everyone. Whether it’s to let someone know that you believe their gambling is causing problems, or to connect with someone in recovery and find out how they’re feeling. A conversation is a really easy way to get a finger on the pulse of what’s going on with the individual. It’s also a good way to gauge how the family can plan for the upcoming event.
A conversation could be as simple as asking questions like:
How are you feeling lately?
Are you feeling any pressure at work or from friends to gamble?
Are you planning on watching the Super Bowl or would you like us to plan something else as a family?
Some simple questions can get some simple answers. They could also be a springboard to a deeper conversation about the negative effects sports gambling has had. It can also be a great way to identify triggers and other activity ideas to avoid gambling on the Super Bowl.
Identifying Triggers
Triggers are anything that causes an individual to feel the urge to gamble. A trigger could be a commercial about the Super Bowl, it could be hearing the excitement of colleagues talking about their squares, or a trigger could be just knowing the time of year and remembering the feeling, the high, of gambling on the Super Bowl in previous years. Whatever the triggers may be, it’s important for family and love ones to know what they are so they can help avoid them in conversation, and help prepare the person, struggling to avoid gambling, to know their triggers and come up with alternative activities.
Alternative Activities
Alternative activities can be different ways to enjoy the Super Bowl. These ways include:
Watching it with different people who aren’t gambling,
Keeping phones with gambling contacts and apps away,
Asking a spouse to keep a close watch on extra money,
Avoiding media and social media,
Spending time with different people than those who are gambling, and
Planning activities that have nothing to do with the Super Bowl.
For people who want to avoid the Super Bowl, so they don’t find themselves in additional problems related to gambling, there are many other things to do during that time. Ideas to spend time with love ones can include:
Boardgames,
Legos with children,
Video games,
Hiking,
Bike riding,
Snowshoeing,
Renovating a room in your home, or
Anything else that takes time, energy and focus.
Being that many of us are alone, especially with social distancing, choosing activities to do by yourself is also important. Some activities to do on your own can include (similar to above):
Video games,
Reading,
Re-organizing part of your home,
Video chatting with love ones,
Planning a movie or night of binge watching your favorite TV show,
Reading, or
Any type of art or craft.
Really, the options are limitless. And if you’re unsure what to do, reach out to a loved one and find out the best way to fill that time. Making sure there’s a plan to help keep loved ones safe is the best preventative care to help them avoid further problems associated with gambling.
Additional Support
If you need additional support, or your loved one who struggles with gambling problems has decided to look for help, please reach out to your local Problem Gambling Resource Center at NYProblemGamblingHELP.org. There you can connect with a dedicated professional eager to help you identify local resources and get connected to local support as desired.
There is no pressure with that call; only care and concern. Your local Problem Gambling Resource Center is HERE TO HELP. You can may also call The National Council On Problem Gambling and operates the National Problem Gambling Helpline Network (1-800-522-4700). The network is a single national access point to local resources for those seeking help for a gambling problem. You may also visit their website here https://www.ncpgambling.org/programs-resources/
It is not every day you are invited and featured in a national and international womens magazine, this is what happened to me recently. I am not only honored but humbled to share my story and voice to other women around the world who just might be suffering in silence from addicted gambling like I was 14-years ago and had no clue how to STOP… The rest of that story I am about to share, the same article that is currently being read now in ADIVA Magazine –issue #3 for our Fall/Winter 2020.
You may check it out and learn all about on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/StellaDamasusOfficial/videos/adiva-magazine/385566179159699/ I want to thank Stella Damasus for the invite and I have received amazing feedback and some emails too! When we share HOPE and our experiences with others? THAT is what helps me going forward in my recovery. I may never know who it may impact or “touch” but even if it is only one person? It worth IT!
My name is Catherine Townsend-Lyon, and I’m a recovering gambling addict…
My addiction didn’t require any substances—no pill, needles, liquids, or smoke Yet, every one in five gambling addicts will try suicide from it as I had tried, twice. I will celebrate my 13th-year, maintaining recovery come Jan. 2020. When most people talk about addiction, they often focus on substance abuse. In truth, there are people addicted to behaviors and habits that can cause just as much damage to their lives as drugs or alcohol.
“Catherine Townsend-Lyon understands this all too well. For years, she was addicted to gambling and what she calls “a silent addiction.”
ADIVA Magazine Feature
Catherine shares her story of how she freed herself from this crippling addiction and how she uses this experience to help others get on the path to recovery, even when all hope seems lost. From an addiction that is now the #1 addiction taking lives by suicide…
My disease is called addicted gambling, a silent addiction.
“How did a good girl go bad? By crossing a fine line from a “once in a while gambler to a full-blown addicted one.” Well, I began gambling with money. In the end, I was gambling with my life.
This addiction is progressive in nature, so I began pawning or selling valuables. Finally, I ended up committing a crime because the money ran out. Toward the end and before treatment, I began to abuse alcohol as just gambling alone wasn’t “doing it for me,” as I was stuck in a cunning sick cycle. I was sick, broke, broken, spiritually lost. Then, hopelessness and darkness took over.
As statistics now show, more then 2.9% of our population are problem gamblers, and one in every five addicted gambler’s attempting suicide as I did, twice, these numbers will continue to rise as the expansion of for-profit gambling options, including online legalized online internet gambling like sports betting in many states, just as state lotteries are expanding. It seems gambling is just about everywhere from my experiences.
So, it is no wonder I became addicted to it. I became one of the 1 in 5 who tried suicide while still residing in Southern Oregon for over 26+years and where my gambling addiction journey began. I, too, had two failed suicide attempts before I knew there was help available.
I was gambling two to four times a day playing the Oregon lottery video poker/slot machines introduced in the early 90s. By 1998, the Oregon Lottery had licensed more than 9,000 video gambling machines in some 1,800 outlets, and I got hooked! Gambling on slot and poker machines has now become the second-biggest revenue raiser for the Oregon government, behind income taxes.
My recovery journey started in 2002 after my first suicide attempt. But again, in April 2006, I woke up in a hospital for a second time due to another failed suicide attempt and again admitted into an addiction and mental health crisis center for another 30-day stay. The problem wasn’t that I gambled again and relapsed; it was due to not taking my psych medications for my mental health. I thought I didn’t need nor want to take them any longer and thinking I could be normal like everyone else around me, but as you read my story, you’ll see that didn’t work out too well.
Hell, being normal is a bit overrated (Lol).
No excuses as we faced a few severe financial crises simultaneously as I stopped taking my medications for my mental health. My husband and I had worked through all of our savings; I panicked and chose to steal from someone. What a mess! They pressed charges, I was arrested, went through the court process, and was sentenced to many community service hours, two years of probation, and paid restitution that I am still paying on today. If I don’t? I will most likely die a felon.
My Point and Wisdom From an Older Diva
You have to do all the recovery work in all areas that include your finances (financial inventory). I had not done the work in this area and necessary for a steady recovery. Even though I was not gambling, my financial and legal troubles told me I still needed to work and maybe with a gambling addiction specialist. After my problems occurred, I did choose to work with a specialist for over a year while I went through the legal mess I created.
Why am I sharing?
Our recovery stories and experiences are powerful tools to help others and to give them hope! Even after my second suicide attempt and crisis center stay from the hospital, I learned I did not have a well-rounded recovery plan and had a lot more work to do. I also knew that God, my higher power, had bigger plans for me, a purpose for me that involves helping those reaching out for recovery from the cunning illness of addicted compulsive gambling.
After I was released from the crisis center in 2006, I began working with a gambling addiction specialist and got my mental health under control; I began to see the enormous stigma around those who maintain recovery and those who may have a mental illness. And since I am a dual-diagnosed person, this can make obtaining recovery a bit more work, as I discovered. The habits, behaviors, and diseased thinking we use within our addiction needed more correcting.
Working with the specialist was eye-opening. He made me revisit and helped me break down ‘the cycle’ of addiction, and we also worked with tools and skills for dealing with financial problems that may arise while maintaining recovery. I found a relapse prevention workbook that helped and was a game-changer for me. Although I never did relapse into gambling, this workbook had helped me develop a plan for any financial or life event crisis that may arise during my recovery journey.
Another tool was journaling each day. I’ve enjoyed writing at a young age and kept a journal, but my specialist showed me how to relieve stress and learn more from my journaling. I later used my writings to write my book, a memoir titled ‘Addicted To Dimes: Confessions of a Liar and a Cheat.’ It is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and many fine book stores and online. It is written in memoir form and is not how to recover, but the Why and the roots to how I became addicted to this cunning addiction… https://www.amazon.com/Addicted-Dimes-Confessions-Liar-Cheat-ebook/dp/B00CSUJI3A/
Memoir By Catherine Townsend-Lyon Author, Advocate, Columnist
I didn’t start writing and journaling for a book; that was all God’s intervention and came later on. Writing down my story and experiences in notebooks for a year toward the end of 2010 was a very healing process for me. I shared in the book my gambling addiction, my past childhood abuse, and sexual trauma, and what it is like living with mental illness.
“I needed to see on paper and in between the lines what gambling addiction had taken from me”…
Today I never dreamed I would be a published author and recovery advocate. That began my recovery advocacy of writing for many publications like formerly InRecovery magazine, now a columnist for “Keys To Recovery” newspaper, recovery blogging, many radio shows, podcasts, and speaking. These are only a few of my recovery blessings I have received within my path thus far. By writing my book and sharing it with the world, I hope to shatter the stigma around gambling addiction, those maintaining recovery, and those with mental and emotional health challenges.
2019 Addiction & Recovery Speaking Event AZ State Capitol
I have also, recently began to share my voice and story as one who also suffered childhood sexual abuse and trauma with others as well. Why? Because I learned these are the underlying issues and roots that had me turn to addiction came from that pain from my to overcome it and not use gambling to escape, cope, or hide from all those haunting memories.
Through my book, I have chosen not to be anonymous. I want others to know how devastating compulsive gambling addiction is and how easily one can become addicted. It truly is a real silent disease and illness that requires no substances, is just as destructive as any other addiction, and still #1 in claiming lives by suicide than any other addiction. Through my advocacy work, I help others be informed and educated as I raise awareness and prove the impacts problem gambling has on your communities’ as it shatters families. The expansion of casinos, state lottery, and online gambling contributes to more accessibility as it now is touching our youth.
I’m often asked what I do to keep my long-term recovery. Work a steady recovery that encompasses mind, body, spirit, finances, and personal inventory. There are many ways and choices to recover, including inpatient or outpatient treatment, 12-Step meetings, addiction specialists, and more. Anything and everything you can find? Just do it. Only one option may not be enough to reach success in long-term recovery.
Today it is my recovery duty to share hope to those reaching out to recover and need support. I continue my advocacy work as an article writer and columnist for ‘Keys To Recovery newspaper’ out of Southern California. I run and write a blog called https://BetFreeRecoveryNow.wordpress.com and share my experiences and recovery throughout media and social media. Have done so on in many publications, podcasts, radio shows, and in a global ADIVA Mag.
My husband Tom and I just celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary as we live outside Phoenix, Arizona. We live a quiet life with our three kitty fur babies. Soon, I will celebrate my 14th year maintaining recovery on Jan. 29th, 2021… It has been a long road to get to where I am today. The rest our/my amazing life has been GOD GIVEN and I am blessed and humbled with a life that has been beyond a one I could have ever hoped for in so many ways.
I have gained wisdom, have learned life lessons, and the best part? I get to help others who may still be suffering in silence like I had for many year’s from gambling and into recovery. Everyone deserves a second chance as I did when God showed my my real true purpose in life.
“The cruelest lies are often told in silence”… ~Robert Louis Stevenson
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” … ~Maya Angelou
My Loving Husband, Tom Lyon
Addiction Awareness Speaking Event Phoenix, AZ!
ME & My Buddy Former NFL Pro Randy Grimes of Tampa Bay Bucs.
Risky Business: The Rise in Online Gambling During the COVID-19 Pandemic~ By Dawn Rehab ~ https://thedawnrehab.com/
Courtesy of The Dawn Rehab
As most people were literally left to their own devices during COVID-19 related lockdowns, many began engaging with technology in different new ways. Recent reports show that online gambling services have exploded in popularity, which could lead to a subsequent increase in gambling addiction.
The implementation of COVID-19 related lockdowns worldwide corresponded with a dramatic increase in many people’s screen time. While swiping the long hours away can help alleviate some of the restlessness and anxiety that comes from being stuck at home, it also increases exposure to heavily marketed goods and services, including online gambling.
Some countries have noted that bookmakers increased advertising on websites and social media to lure in potential customers, which can be problematic for those struggling with a gambling addiction, or those simply suffering from boredom and looking for a way to kill time.
Approximately 1 percent of the adult population in the United States has a severe gambling problem. The most recent research estimates that 6 to 9 percent of young people and young adults experience problems related to gambling — a higher rate than among adults.
Though a few countries such as Belgium, Spain and Latvia have imposed some restrictions on online gambling in order to try and curb addiction during the lockdowns, the majority of these services remain easily accessible and highly tempting. This poses a serious risk for an uptick in gambling addictions during the pandemic.
How the Pandemic Has Fueled Online Gambling
In a few short months, our daily lives and regular habits have changed dramatically. Both the physical and mental impacts of the COVID-19 outbreak have contributed to an increased use of online gambling services.
These impacts include:
Boredom, Depression and Anxiety
Few of us are used to spending so many hours, day after day, in our own homes. Cut off from our regular outdoor activities, classes, and even workspaces, many people began feeling bored, anxious, and even depressed.
The pandemic itself lent to stress not only about our health, but also about our work and relationships. These feelings, plus the shift of most interactions to an online forum, created a perfect storm for susceptibility to clicking onto an online gambling site.
Ban on Live Sports, Closure of Casinos
The crowds found in casinos and sports arenas around the world were quickly recognised as hotspots for the spread of the coronavirus, and were shuttered in many countries. For the first time, major sports seasons and events, including the upcoming Olympics, have been suspended, leaving avid sports fans and casual gamblers at a loss. Dramatic increases in visitors to online gambling sites suggest that people are filling the gap through online gambling.
Is Online Gambling More Addictive?
A recent study by the UK’s Gambling Commission found that 1.2% of all people who gamble have developed an addiction, but this figure increases to 2.5% when only online sports betting is considered, and a staggering 9.2% when the focus shifts to online gaming like casino games and roulette.
Part of this is due to the speed of online gambling – gamblers don’t have to wait for specific matches or tournaments, but can place bets in quick succession, chasing wins (or losses) one after the other. Because it is possible to gamble using credit cards instead of cash in hand, debts can be run up extremely quickly before people even really wrap their heads around how much is at stake. The fact that this type of gambling is available 24/7 via a simple click on our phones or computers, also factors into the heightened addiction rates.
Additionally, online gambling is more easily hidden. It’s far more obvious if you are spending hours at the casino or at a racetrack than if you are simply sitting in the corner scrolling and clicking. This lack of visibility can mean that others may not see you need help until the problem has become very serious.
Do You Have a Gambling Addiction?
There are many people who do enjoy casual or occasional gambling that does not result in any negative consequences to financial or mental health. These are gamblers who can accept a loss and walk away from a further bet.
However, if you are noticing that you’re clicking into sites more often, and placing larger and larger bets, you may be developing a dependency. Gambling addiction impacts both men and women, and can have serious effects.
Signs and Symptoms of Gambling Addiction
Constantly thinking about or reliving gambling-related experiences
Increasing amounts of time during the day spent gambling
Repeated, unsuccessful attempts to reduce or stop gambling
Using gambling as a “go-to” activity to relax or feel better
Having to make increasingly larger or riskier bets to feel satisfied or excited
Trying to win back money lost through gambling by engaging in further gambling
Attempting to downplay or cover up gambling habits
Experiencing financial strain as a result of gambling
Impacts of a Gambling Addiction
When people think of gambling addiction, it is immediately assumed that most of the impacts are financial. While those who struggle with gambling do face financial difficulties as a result of their dependency, the impacts of gambling go far beyond bank accounts, and often have serious negative effects on relationships, work and even legal issues.
Gambling has been proven to impact mental health, and has been linked to conditions like depression, and anxiety disorders. People struggling with gambling addiction are at greater risk for suicide – one study found that gamblers are six times more likely to have suicidal thoughts or attempts. The stress of living with a gambling disorder often manifests in physical ailments as well, such as digestive issues and migraines.
If you or someone you love has a problem with gambling, seeking professional help from an addiction specialist is a necessity. Speaking with someone who understands the science of addiction and can help address and treat the root causes of dependency will lead to the best possible outcomes for recovery. . .
The Dawn Wellness Centre and Rehab Thailand offers residential treatment that specialises in behavioural addictions such as gambling. With a maximum intake of 25 clients at a time, our highly experienced professional team offers personalised attention and customised treatment plans for each and every client.
The fundamental objective of our programme is for clients to achieve and maintain long-term recovery by equipping each individual with a personalised set of coping tools to use when dealing with stress and triggers. The Dawn utilises a unique “Twin Pillars” approach for treatment, seamlessly blending Western psychotherapeutic techniques with proven Eastern wellness practices to holistically address the addiction, and allow the development of a full, healthy lifestyle.
Gambling Addiction Treatment On-site or Online with The Dawn
We understand that current COVID-19 related travel restrictions may make it difficult for you to access the benefits of a residential treatment programme at this time. At The Dawn, our therapists have years of experience providing online therapy to our clients post treatment in online aftercare groups as well as individual counselling.
To support individuals in need of help but unable to travel, we have been offering a special Virtual Treatment Programme with the option of transitioning to in-person residential treatment when clients are ready.
To best accommodate our clients, we structure our fees so that whatever you have already paid towards your online therapy goes towards your overall residential treatment fee. This allows you to continue your care with a trusted therapist in an environment totally removed from the triggers and stress of everyday life, and to focus completely on your recovery.
With the holiday season fast approaching and still living in uncertain times, it is more vital now then ever to have a Relapse Prevention plan ready. This is why I am very honored to have a Special Recovery Guestand dear friend of mine who has also been my close friend for several years and we have been through “thick and thin” together. He has become like a brother I never had.
He is not only a talented in-depth addiction and recovery writer, fellow author, and loud advocate, but he has been a mentor and one of my #1 supporters of my recovery from addicted gambling.
Yes, I am talking about Rev. Dr. Kevin T. Coughlin Ph.D…
I invited him as my special guest to help us with Gambling Awareness and some Expert Advice for this unusual holiday season. He has done so and all about Relapse Prevention!
Now, Kevin is in the process of revamping his website! I will invite you all to NOT hesitate by visiting his Amazon Author Bio Page and grab many of his best-selling award-winning books! Kevin has helped many from addiction and stopped the suffering for addicts and helped many families heal together. There are many to choose from when it is time to gain life and no longer a path of darkness.
All of Kevin’s books can assist and will enhance to uplift you in your recovery journey, help parents help an addict, and gives the skills and tools within each book that work. So I present this helpful and educational article that Kevin was kind enough to write and share with us today. I am sure it will give hope to those who may feel there is no HOPE… Recovery is always possible!
~Catherine Lyon, Author, and Advocate.
Relapse Prevention is Key to Long-Term Recovery from Gambling (Ludomania)
Problem gambling, or ludomania, is an urge to continuously gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others, rather than by the gambler’s behavior. Severe problem gambling may be diagnosed as clinical pathological gambling if the gambler meets certain criteria.
Pathological gambling is a common disorder that is associated with both social and family costs. “Pathological gambling” is the most severe form of problem gambling and has been recognized by the American Psychiatric Association as a disease since 1980. Gaming or gambling is supposed to be for fun, for entertainment.
Teenagers are 3 to 4 times more likely to become problem gamblers than adults. 90% of High School students have gambled at least once in the last year. In the USA ages 14-21, 2.1% struggle with Problem Gambling, another 6.5% are at risk. Every year, 2% -3%, 2M U.S. adults are estimated to meet the criteria for disordered gambling and another 4-6M individual are problem gamblers at risk for serious addiction consequences. Men make up 2/3 majority of Problem Gamblers.
Relapse ‘s definition, to fall or slip back into a former state or practice. Relapse certainly can happen to those who are in recovery from substance abuse and (Problem Gambling) process addictions; however, it should not be expected, only a possibility. Many individuals recover without ever knowing the first physical relapse in their entire lifetime of sobriety. Most have emotional and mental relapses at certain times, and some do have physical relapses as well.
Kevin Coughlin’s Best-Selling Book!
There are three different types of relapse: Emotional Relapse Mental Relapse Physical Relapse
Remember that relapse is a process, Behavior Changes: Hanging around slippery people, places, and things. Arguing and acting out. No serenity, not demonstrating spirituality. Attitude Changes: Different priorities, meetings, and recovery not as important as they were. Changes in Feelings or Moods: Resentments, anger, boredom, not satisfied with anything, not grateful. Changes in Thoughts: Thinking that you may be able to use safely now. Not living a life of balance and not taking care of self can all lead to relapse.
“Don’t stay too long in the shame-filled grounds of relapse. Fertile soil awaits your return and your recovering.” – Holli Kenley
Major changes in the structure of life, such as divorce, losing a job, moving, having a child, death, a serious injury, a relationship change, things that are a major structural change or life events can lead to relapse.
When faced with tough times five tips that can help anyone avoid relapse are as follows:
1. Continue to work your program of recovery. The vehicle that promotes change. Draw close to whatever program or modality that got you sober in the first place. Call other sober friends in your support network and be honest about what is going on in your life. Don’t be afraid to pick up the 500lb. phone!
2. Utilize anger management skills. Dealing with problems right when they arise. Resentments are the number one offender; we can’t afford them. Don’t let the sun go down on a problem. Use anger management and problem-solving skills to work things out without letting emotions get the best of you. You don’t always have to be right, don’t always have to be in control, and don’t have to be perfect.
3. Beware of self-centeredness. Work on your spirituality. Don’t be selfish! Those who fail to grow spiritually will relapse. The one thing that we must do is maintain our spiritual conditions; that means we must continue to grow spiritually; we must go where we are spiritually fed.
4. Stay in the day and don’t project! ‘One day at a time is great wisdom’! All we should worry about is today, tomorrow will take care of itself, so don’t worry. There is a God, and you’re not it!
5. Stay grateful! We must maintain an attitude of gratitude, if we forget all of the gifts that we have been freely given in recovery, then we are headed for trouble! If we forget the bottom or event or circumstance that led us into a life of sobriety then we are also in trouble, we must as they say, “Keep it green!” I have never seen a grateful person relapse!
These Tips Will Help Anyone Who Walks in the Sunlight of the Spirit Stay There...
If you walk in the shadows and dark places, then surely that’s where your heart will end up. The only way to have real long-term, lasting, quality sobriety is to continue to grow in recovery, and that means maintaining our spirituality on a daily basis, continuing to be spiritually fed daily growing in experience and wisdom and helping others. You can’t live on yesterday’s manna!
Stress and anxiety have always been triggers for substance abusers and regular people to learn hope to cope with on a daily basis. Drugs and alcohol had been “the solution” for them in the past; now they must disengage from such behaviors and find genuine coping mechanisms that last. Gambling abusers also need to be offered alternative ways to find a solution through a twelve-step approach, non-twelve-step approach, harm reduction, medication management, holistic programs, faith-based programs, and other approaches. Individuals must learn healthy ways to cope with stress without the use of drugs or alcohol, utilizing these new-found tools as a solution to stress will lead to lasting sobriety. Those who don’t suffer from substance abuse will also need coping skills for life on their own terms being BET FREE.
Stress Coping Skills Key to Lasting Recovery Developing strong stress and anxiety management skills and techniques are paramount to long-term sobriety, a balanced and healthy life. These skills can help those in recovery to avoid relapse and sustain lasting recovery. Research utilizing lab animals has shown that stress can precipitate relapses with addiction to certain chemicals.
PTSD & Chronic Stress Chronic drug usage may alter brain pathways affecting the user’s response to stress; this can make them more susceptible to relapse. Those who suffer from PTSD and individuals who have been exposed to chronic stress may be more likely to relapse; this makes stress management skills all the more important.
Stress Leading to Relapse! Significant changes in jobs, relationships, moving, finances, health, and other structural changes that those in recovery are likely to deal with cause stress and anxiety. This is a normal part of life for everyone. For the substance abuser, it’s okay to try to escape from the pressure. They must be careful not to transfer addictions from drugs to gambling, sex, or some other addiction. Medical specialists from the National Institute on Drug Abuse believe that the leading reason for relapse back into substance abuse is stress.
Some Individuals Need Mental Health Help Healthy lifestyle changes are the best way to manage stress; some individuals will need to seek out help from mental health professionals as part of those changes. The Mental Health Professional will work with the Professional Coach to help the client reach their goals and solutions.
Some changes that people have found helpful:
Deep Breathing Meditation and Yoga Prayer Proper Diet Balance and Boundaries Time management Taking care of Yourself Better Identifying Stressors Talking Things Out Getting a Good Night’s Sleep Exercise Low-Stress Activities
Positive People are the Winners! In recovery and in life it is essential to connect with the right people, “stick with the winners” as they say. Those in early recovery need to be around individuals and groups that they can learn solutions from, recovery role models so to speak.
It’s also important for those in early recovery to find an attitude of gratitude; it’s easy to become angry and negative from the very beginning. Gratitude raises balance, awareness, and the spirit in a way that the person will begin to see things about life in a new way, like seeing life with a new pair of glasses!
Talking with Others Learning to tell on yourself in early recovery is one of the hardest but most beneficial skills. Talk things out with other sober people, give them a piece of your burden and suddenly your burden becomes light. Running, walking, lifting weights, writing poetry, journaling, drawing, being creative, move a muscle change and thought is a great way to get out of your head when stressed. My journal below can help!
Avoid Relapse by Journaling to Coping with Stress All people need to learn to cope with stress in recovery; it’s essential to avoid relapse and maintain sanity and balance. Utilizing just a few of the tools and techniques can work for anyone if they want them to work. Sometimes just a deep breath works!
Professional Coaches Have the Goods! Professional coaches have skill sets, tools, and core competencies that they utilize to help their clients change their lives for the better. They utilize specific action planning, powerful questioning, active listening, and many other skills and techniques to get the results needed to move forward toward the solution needed to achieve the client’s goals. Stress and anxiety aren’t good for anyone no matter their walk-in life.
Triggers that Can Jeopardize Your Sobriety When most people hear the word trigger, they think of the noun or the trigger of a gun; the verb trigger means to cause (an event or situation) to happen or exist. People who suffer from substance abuse and process addictions usually have triggers in their lives that are unique to their circumstances, past traumas, events, memories, losses, shame, guilt, anger, anxiety, etc.
A recovering person’s triggers are set in motion through one or more of the five senses: smell, sound, touch, sight, and taste. Make no mistake about it; although we are talking about the verb, triggers can be as dangerous as the trigger on a gun!
Triggers of the Emotional Variety Triggers can jeopardize your sobriety if they are not recognized and dealt with in early recovery. What triggers a relapse? Certainly, the reasons for relapse can be different for individuals; however, there are some commonalities such as fear, anxiety, stress, and depression. There are several other emotions that can also lead to relapse.
Triggers from People, Places, and Things Certain people, places, and things can trigger a relapse if they remind the person of their addiction. In some cases, all three of these may have to be removed from the individual’s life if they expose the person to a significant risk of relapse.
An example of a place, an alcoholic would not want to go to dinner in a bar that they drank at every day, where their old drinking buddies would be, and their favorite chair. In that case, all three areas of triggers would be involved.
Relapse is an Opportunity Not an Expectation There are triggers that can jeopardize your sobriety; however, with a little instruction, the whole situation can be turned into a positive. In early recovery, the person should be made aware of what triggers are and have help to identify their patterns of addiction and relapse…
Relapse is an opportunity to learn what a person’s triggers are so that they can be identified by the substance abuser and prevent the next relapse. Some say that relapse is an expected part of recovery, that’s a mistake! Relapse is always a possibility in recovery; however, it shouldn’t be expected, when we teach people that, we set them up to fail.
Balance is Key Balance is a key part of the recovery process, learning what we can do and cannot do and live in sobriety. Education, awareness, and prevention will assist the newcomers in recovery to understand the process of what genuine recovery means, avoiding all of the pitfalls that triggers may lead to on a daily basis by recognizing them and not allowing them to have power in your life of recovery.
Yes, triggers can jeopardize your sobriety, the good news is through education and awareness, you can prevent triggers from ever having power in your life. By taking the time to identify triggers and understand them, you can avoid situations that may have led you to relapse because of triggers in the past. You have empowered yourself and taken the power away from the triggers, great job!
Recovery is a lifelong process. We all make mistakes along the way, that’s alright, as long as we learn from them.
Pathological Gambling is a terrible disease that is becoming more and more of a problem in the United States. More teens are gambling than ever before in our history, more older Americans are becoming problem gamblers as well.
Don’t gamble your life away, bet on you, your family, and God!
This and all books by Kevin Coughlin Available on Amazon
ABOUT THE AUTHOR & ADDICTION EXPERT
Rev. Dr. Kevin T. Coughlin Provincial Superintendent, Ph.D., DCC, DDVA, DLC, DD, NCIP, NCAMP, IMAC, International- Best-Selling Author and Award-Winning Poet has dedicated his life to helping others. Through Education, Awareness, and Prevention Rev. Coughlin has helped thousands of individuals who were afflicted with the disease of addiction, their families, and loved ones.
He has trained hundreds of professionals in the addiction recovery industry and in the professional coaching arena. He has decades of life experience, education, work-related experience; however, perhaps the most valuable information that Rev. Dr. Coughlin possesses that sits atop of his incredible resume is wisdom.
Reverend Dr. Coughlin is the Founder of The Professional’s International Institute of Higher Learning Online and Phase Two Christian Coaching, LLC. He was a Founder and Board Member of New Beginning Ministry, Inc., a non-profit, twelve-step residential addiction recovery program for adults, he served for two decades. Rev. Coughlin has helped thousands of individuals and their families to change their lives over the past twenty-plus years.
He is an Addiction Expert, Award-Winning Poet, an International-Best-Selling author, his books, journals, and manuals are used in the United States and other Countries by professionals, individuals, and facilities. With over 44+ published works, the author resides in PA.
I have been honored to be a contributing writer and columnist for an amazing recovery newspaper called “Keys to Recovery” founded by Marcus and Jeannie Marshall and Beth Dewey out of Southern California for little over 2-yrs. Jeannie and Marcus, these two beautiful people are giving and caring recovery friends of mine and put so much love and hard work into each issue they print for there monthly publication.
And?
They have the audacitiy to give out FREE! It is free to read online, download, or have copies mailed to support those who maintain recovery from all kinds of addictions, including mine which was addiction to gambling.
My column is called QUIT To WIN and I write and share my experiences, stregnth, and HOPE from addicted gambling and share to others so they know there is HOPE and they don’t have to be NOT ALONE to recover from this cunning disease. Here is a little about “KEYS” and who they serve…
KEYS TO RECOVERYBACKSTORY:
Keys to Recovery Newspaper, Inc. is printed and distributed in California and 30 additional states. Having a current print run of 20,000 newspapers and a readership exceeding 90,000 per month, we are already a solid and formidable presence. Although we have digital access to our publication, our primary focus is distributing hard copies.
Our newspaper targets readers who are seeking recovery from all types of addictions, disorders and the loved ones who are affected, as well as anyone wanting to know more about addiction and recovery. Here are some of the types of facilities we are distributing our recovery newspaper to:
• 12 Step Alano Clubs• 12 Step Meeting Halls• Bail Bonds Offices• Churches• Clinical Professionals• Coffee Shops• Correctional Facilities• Counseling Office & Services• Department of Health• DUI Classes• Drug & Alcohol Councils
• Employee Assistance Programs• Homeless Shelters• Judges• Law Offices• Medical Centers – Hospitals• Outpatient Treatment Centers• Police Departments• Probation Departments• Public Libraries
• Recovery Stores• Rehabilitation – Treatment Centers• Rescue Missions• Veterans Administration Hospitals• Sober Livingʼs• Transitional Housing• Related Conventions• Networking Eventsand many more locations.
“We work carefully to develop a monthly publication addressing vital issues concerning all types of addictions and disorders, and everything related to the recovery from them.“
Spreading the Message of Hope and Recovery
Our purpose and our mission, is to give hope that recovery is possible. Incorporated in the state of California Keys to Recovery Newspaper, Inc. is a 501(c)3 non-profit entity. Our main objective is to carry the message of Hope and Recovery from all types of addictions and disorders to as many people as possible, and to offer resources that may provide treatment and support. We do that by printing (yes, printing) a traditional type newspaper, as well as having an online presence. Our newspaper is filled with columns from today’s top experts in the recovery field.
Keys to Recovery Newspaper, Inc. is educating our communities about alcoholism, drug addiction, eating disorders, gambling addiction, homelessness, domestic violence and so much more. We also print, at no charge, a 2-‐page resource guide listing free services and vital help offered within the communities.
Keys to Recovery Newspaper, Inc. is making a strong effort to reach the many individuals currently in jails or other types of institutions, and offer them information that will assist in their future recovery. For every paid subscription we will be able to send a free subscription to someone in an institution. We are NOT affiliated with AA, NA, Al-‐anon or any other 12-‐step program. We do, however, believe in the power of the 12-‐steps and the principles behind them.
We operate Keys to Recovery Newspaper, Inc. using these principles as a guideline -‐ Honesty, Hope, Faith, Courage, Integrity, Willingness, Humility, Brotherly Love, Justice, Perseverance, Spirituality and Service. THE PEOPLE BEHIND – KEYS TO RECOVERY NEWSPAPER, INC.
Jeannie Marshall – Co-Founder & President: Having 35 years of marketing, advertising, and PR experience – ten of those years working on a recovery newspaper – I feel uniquely qualified to lead and support our team to achieve our purpose and our mission. Many of you will remember me from the Steps for Recovery newspaper, where I worked until 2008 with my business partner and good friend Jason Levin, who passed away.
Unable to continue working on the newspaper without him, I choose to go back to corporate America. After 5 years of healing I felt ready, willing and able to go back to my one true passion – carrying the message of hope and recovery… through Keys to Recovery Newspaper Inc. A bit more about me: I restarted my sobriety in 1986; I love the 12-steps and living in a world where I have a purpose. I have a passion to help the helpless. My favorite principle is Service.
Marcus Marshall – Co-founder & Vice President: I started working at age 13 in the field of service at Sylmar Children’s Spastic Foundation as a patient care technician. At age 18 I worked as a Counselor in Psychiatrics at Chatsworth Health and Rehab Center. I also worked in sales and marketing gathering about 25 years experience in that field as well. I was derailed by my addiction and for about ten years I was going in and out of jails and prisons, which makes me uniquely qualified to understanding the difficulties of transitioning back into society.
I started my recovery in early 2012 and found myself wanting to go back to my preferred profession – Patient Care. I worked at Cri-Help as a lead support technician, while attending the Addiction Studies Program at Pierce College, which helped prepare me for this vocation.
Publishing Keys to Recovery Newspaper Inc. is giving me the opportunity to use all my life experiences to help others. A bit more about me: I have a passion for God and helping others find their way to him. I love helping the homeless. My favorite principle is Faith.
Beth Stern – Co-founder: In 1993 I was mandated by the courts to attend a 12-step program, during this process I was introduced to the program of recovery – which made me a firm believer in “bring the body and the mind will follow.” Being a co-founder of Keys to Recovery Newspaper Inc. I feel that this is a great platform for carrying the message of recovery. I love being of service in all areas of my life. I have a passion of giving hope to the hopeless. My favorite principle is Perseverance.
NOW, Keys To Recovery Is Helping Our Vets AND Wounded WarriorsHere is HOW
HERE IS HOW IT WORKS
The Wounded Warrior Project: Each month Keys to Recovery is featuring a new Back Cover ad for different causes that are close to our heart.
For the October 2020 issue – we are running a full-page Back Cover ad for. The Wounded Warrior Project.
Not only does The Wounded Warrior Project, get great exposure in the recovery community, but you or your facility will also be seen as well as supporting a great cause.
If you or anyone you know wants to support The Wounded Warrior Project WITH THIS AD, we will be running a notice under the ad: _____________________________________________ Sponsored in part by: Marcus & Jeannie Marshall; (then we will list the names of the individuals or the companies of those who helped pay for the advertisement, or some may want to donate anonymously). _____________________________________________
Whatever you want to put towards the $1,500 will be accepted as a donation : ) you can pay through our Pay-Pal BUTTON on our website, or Zelle through the bank using: 818-312-4233 phone number, or Venmo using: Donna Jean Rabb, or you can always send in a check just let us know its coming. Once we get the donation we will contact you and see how or if you want to be listed as supporting the ad, personally or listing your facility.
We need to KNOW ASAP to get you listed on the October back cover.
Anything over the cost of the ad ($1,500) will be donated to The Wounded Warrior Project. Thank you for your support! — Jeannie Rabb-Marshall President & Co-Founder of Keys to Recovery Newspaper
How Do You To Stop Worrying About What Others Think?
By KADEN JAMES
How you feel about yourself is more important than how others feel about you.
Focusing on what others think of us changes us, not always in big, noticeable ways but more often very subtly.
If we hear a negative comment said about us in passing. This comment may eat away at us over time. The thought may come up so often that it becomes a belief about ourselves.
We might read a negative comment and take it to heart without even considering the source. For instance, I have known people who stop wearing bright colors because someone said they didn’t look good on them. I have had clients who told me they would alter their voice or quiet their laugh because of something someone said. Your laugher is a gift just like what brought it out of you.
The words of others can profoundly affect the way we show up in the world. If we hear negative words we might start to think we are unattractive, untalented, no good, or unlovable. If we don’t grow strong enough in our own self-confidence we could go through life never fully stepping up to the moment, missing out on opportunities to experience joy and we may never offer up what we have to give.
The way we release ourselves from the opinions of others is to realize everyone has one. There are people that hate the color blue, can’t stand pizza, don’t like dogs, it’s hard to believe I know. Well, if there are people who don’t like blue, pizza and Scooby-Doo of course some people won’t like you and it’s probably the same people.
We get to choose what opinions we let in. Seek advice with care, from people you trust and respect. For example, if you want relationship advice it’s probably not the best idea to ask your friend who is always dating another guy and seems to have a lot of problems when it comes to relationships. That person may however be the best person to take your pics and update your dating app profile. All jokes aside though, remember to consider who you are going to for feedback.
When someone insults you with absolutely no love in their approach block it out. You choose what you let in and what you focus on, so choose nurturing and loving thoughts. You are ultimately in control of your thoughts and feelings. No one can make you feel anything without your consent. Which means what we feel is a choice.
Let’s choose to feel good and feel confident.
Another thing to keep in mind is to realize that everyone makes mistakes. We are all learning and growing and as we are kind to ourselves and love ourselves we make better choices.
Now I have a couple of questions for you. Are you supportive of others? Are you a kind person? If the answer is yes and yes -RIGHT ONNN! Keep up the great work! Continue to build your self-love like you’re a bodybuilder in the gym.
Make that muscle so strong that when a trashy comment is flung at you or verbal punches are thrown they just bounce off and have little or no effect. If you answered “no” and you aren’t currently supportive or kind, work on it. What you give is what you receive so if you give love and you’ll get it. Give kindness and you’ll get it, have the cycle of hurt end with you.
It’s time to feel good about you and make wise choices for yourself. You deserve love and to live a life you love.
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ED Note: I want to also share with you another topic we all can use some brush-up on when maintaining recovery or especially when begining our recovery path.
That is in the area of being 100%RESPOSIBILITY. Take a watch and listen to this quick YouTube Video Kaden has done all about taking and being 100% reponsible, honest, and transparent.
You can connect with Kaden James on social media& visit his website.
An Occasional Blog of Devotionals Inspired by A Course in Miracles, A Course of Love, The Way of Mastery, Choose Only Love, The Way of the Marys, and The Age of the Heart. . .with Celia Hales - https://www.amazon.com/author/celiahales
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Sharing My Journey of Hope, Help & Recovery From Gambling Addiction, News & Resources. 
